Prologue
Soooo, is there any cake?
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!
As you can clearly read here, our protagonist has very limited vocabulary to express himself when he's distressed. What's he distressed about? Why don't we take a look, shall we?
Our unnamed protagon-
Norman: LUKA! OPEN UP! Come on, it's Norman! Please, I don't wanna be raped, man!
…..Norman is running away through the halls and is banging at the front doors of the Illias Council Club. See, he didn't know what to expect attending a college full of sexually active monstergirls. He thought everything was gonna be sunshine and rainbows and that everyone would get along with no rape, no drama, just being friends with everyone and still keeping his virginity. And no, it's not because he's gay. So just scratch that off your list of plot twists and it's not going to be the only one.
Blue lamia:There you are! .
Norman: Ah shit!
Norman tried, pathetically might I add, to run away, but the lamia caught up to him and coiled him to prevent any escape.
Blue lamia:You mock and humiliate me, you dare talk back to a Fateburn, and worst of all, you took the last piece of chocolate cake in my face!
Norman: I wasn't- AAgh!
She tightened her grip, making him gasp for air.
Fateburn: I'm going to suck you dry, till your scrotums shrivel up like raisins.
As she said that, the tip of her tail split evenly open and there were mini tentacles coming out of it. It looked gooey and slimy and FUCKING blue! Like seriously, WTF! But I digress, it seems Norman is in a bit of pickle here. But how did he get into this mess to begin with? Will he finally get laid and stop acting like an autistic patient that escaped the mental institute? And most importantly, do you give one, mate? Well for these question to be properly answered, let's go back and get to know more about our deplorable main character.
Opening: Lay your hands on me
Pon tu mano en mi
Estoy sangrando
Romper al cielo
Y llevame
Volare, volar, volar, hacia él color
Volar, volar (oh ho), volar
Pon tu manos en mi
Ven ha mí lado
Vuelveme loco
Eres mí sueño
A month ago
It was a very boring life for our 21 year-old boy. I mean when you never had a relationship, still living with your family, being a slave to society by working 40 hours a week in a minimum wage job for a whole year and basically never moving forward to make a future, I would call it boring as well. Right now, he's in the living room watching House M.D with his 19 year-old sister, Siri.
Norman: Illias, I would spread my asscheeks to House anytime of the day.
Siri: Those byotiful eyes! Take me away, House!
Norman: Mmmmm yumyumyum.
Siri: Mmmmm yumyumyum. By the way, are you gonna study for something or are you gonna live here for the rest of your life?
Norman: I could say the same thing to you. But I don't know. I don't even think I need college, you even said yourself you-
Siri: I have a talent, Norman! I'm an artist and I don't need to go to college or even a GED to get somewhere in life. You? Look, college is meant for people who have no talents, which you clearly don't. So get scholarships of whatever you want to study and get started with actually having a life.
Norman: *sigh* You sure don't pull your punches. I don't know. I don't see any future for me. Not that I'm depressed or anything. It's just, I'm just living life. I make no plans, because life never goes according to YOUR plans. I know people frown upon people like me, who have no future and I know some would kill to be in my place, but it is what it is.
Siri: Norman! You can't just live life like that. You have to create your own future! Don't just wait for things to come to you! You have to do the impossible! Nothing is impossible! See the invi-!
Norman: You wanna go to WingMania, don't you?
Siri:...Was it that obvious?
Norman: Yes and now I want some too. Let's shag the swagstickle.
Siri: Okie dokie cumming choking.
My apologies for making you readers see that, but I just had to show how cancer develops into a tumor in less than 500 words. And also to show his "character" as well, but now we go into how he even heard of Monster Girls Academy. Later on that same day, Norman spends his time with his "friends" eating at BK. Let me give you a rundown to the people Norman associates with. Leonardo, Norman's mirror friend. They have lots of things in common, both act like manchildren, still living with their parents, and both share the unbreakable bond of a married couple without it being homosexual. Main difference is that Leo has a future, girlfriend, and a degree in music. I should've narrated this guy when I had the chance. Andres, The fat black friend as to not make him look racist and a fat shamer. Another artist planning on going to college and has an interest in fornicating to furry beasts. I will never know how he finds these people. And last and definitely least, Tony. The complete opposite to Andres, skinny and tall. As the totally straight Norman describes him. "He is the second good-looking guy in the group. With me OBVIOUSLY being the first." This man is the only one that does not live with his parents, but instead with his girlfriend. They practically have sex every day, like hares in mating season. He's studying to become a game designer and an animator. He already made plans to move to Orlando and become successful in life. But sadly, this is not his story. Whew, that was long one. I am setting the narration on auto pilot. Time for my tea break.
Norman: Have you done anal yet?
Everyone at the table burst into laughter at the inane question.
Leo: You piece of shit, Norman. Hehe. Whew. No, I haven't done it and I don't think it will ever happen.
Norman: *Munching on a fry* Come on, man. Don't knock it, till you tried it. Life is too short to take it slow. You gotta put the pussy on a chainwax. Ain't that right, Tony?
Tony: *shrugs* You do, what you do. He's more romantic, which is why he treats her like a princess
Norman: More like a dark lord if you ask me.
Leo: *Bows* I live to please my mistress.
Andres: Oh! Which reminds me…*He goes into his bag and takes out applications and gives one of each.*
Tony: Monster Girls Academy?
Andres: Yea. They're accepting humans now. It's free too. This is a way to unite humans and monsters in the same study environment.
Norman: Hmph. You would think the Civil Rights Movement would make that happen. I guess people are still afraid of them.
Leo: Well, I'm not going. I already have a degree. Plus, my mistress would murder the one rapping me.
Tony: Same.
Norman: What about you, Andres?
Andres: Hmm? *shakes his head* I'll pass.
Norman: Well I got nothing better to do and it's free so why not, am I right? Can I borrow your pen? *Andres hands him the pen and he fills out paper* Hmmm?
Leo: What's up?
Norman: Says here that I gotta choose between the Angels or Monsters? And there's no in-between. I've only seen angels on T.V., but never personally. Just to be safe, I'll go with what I know and choose Monsters. Aaaaand done!
As soon as he said that, someone slammed open the doors with much force that the crystals from the doors cracked.
Freak of nature: WHO FILLED OUT AN APPLICATION FOR THE ACADEMY?
Everyone at the restaurant immediately pointed at the surprised Norman. The thing walked? Slithered? It just went to Norman with a…..smile?
Freak of nature: I'm really glad you decide to join with us monsters! I'm Amira. Nice to meet you.
MGQ-Amira's Theme
Norman:Ummm….hope you don't mind me asking, but what are you?
Amira: I'm a reverse lamia. I thought it was obvious. Is it not obvious?
Norman: Well I can see that. Upper half snake and lower half human, but why is she bend over showing her ass like that!? *Clears throat* H-how may help you?
Amira: Oh! That's right! I'm here to review your application to see if you're eligible to enter. Can I have the paper?
Words cannot describe, how she skillfully and at the same time disturbingly reviews Norman application, with her ass on everyone's face.
Amira: *Gasp* You're a virgin!? As in like, no sexual activity at all!?
His friends starts laughing and a couple of people start giggling and mumbling.
Norman: If you don't count masterbating, then yea. Also, could you speak louder, I don't think the heavens heard you well.
Amira: All right. I need to ask you one question and we'll be done. Do you believe that joining this Academy will remove the fear between man and monster?
Norman: Yea. I see no problem. If this will finally make a change, then I'll gladly join.
Amira: Ok. You're in.
Norman: That's it?
Amira: Yep. A limo will be picking you up tomorrow at exactly 8:00am at your house. Pack everything you need today and uniforms will be provided at the academy once you get there. I will take my leave now. Have a nice day!
She went directly through the way she came, leaving a crying employ, who doesn't get paid enough, cleaning her mess.
Aaah I really needed that. Hmmm? Oh it's done. Well my fellow readers, how did you enjoy Cirque de Freak? If you ask me, I personally would burn every character, to put them out of their misery. Now that Norman has some sort of future or plans. He starts packing everything he needs for the school. Clothes, games, condoms, and his shame. The next day, Norman is waiting for the limo to arrive.
Norman: This is it. I'm finally going to college. Well, I think this is more a social experiment than anything. I wonder what kind of new monsters I'll meet there. Man, I never thought I'd be in this situation. But maybe it's for the better. At least things are getting interesting in my life. Oh!
The not sociopathic Norman notices the limo arriving and he gets in the vehicle. It seemed he wasn't the only human on board as there were 7 other individuals. He notices that people were looked at him confused and that makes sense. Norman was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, while having a red beanie with the Fallout, TWEWY, and Los Pollos Hermanos pins on it. This wouldn't be bad if the people around him weren't dressed like they came out of the royal palace. Suits, dresses, jewelry and fanciness. But surprisingly everyone minded their own business and were actually welcoming. Norman asked one of them where were they headed. It turns out they were all going to Oregon as that was where the academy was at. It took a long ass time to get to their destination, but no one minded. What with the beautiful scenery that Oregon had to offer. It was damn worth it. The school was located around a forest, with the closest civilization being 30 minutes by car. So if shit gets real at least there's a place not far. The school itself is big, like Hope's Peak Academy big.
Norman: Wow! This looks like Hope's Peak Academy!
That what I just said! *sigh* I'm gonna stop here, because I really need a big break. There's only so much autism I can take. On the next chapter, it's going to begin on the first day of school. I don't need to tell you he got his uniform and dorm, because I'm not going to say every little detail that happens. You're not stupid….hopefully. This has been MGQ Where's the Viagra, when it's not needed!? And I'll see you in the next chapter. Have a good day, my fellow readers.
