Just go to sleep. Sleep. Like you do every night. Keep your eyes closed, and sleep. It was late, super late, at least 3 in the morning. This was getting out of hand, the others had fallen asleep over an hour ago. It was the weekend and he and Gokudera were staying the night at the Sawada house. After a long night of playing video games the trio had gone to bed with Gokudera and himself on the floor and Tsuna in his bed, because 'Juudaime deserves better than to sleep on the floor!' Yamamoto still didn't know how he felt about it. Because on one hand he felt that since it was his room he should get to sleep in his own bed. On the other having Tsuna lying with them on the ground, preferably in the middle, would help solve his current problem.
Because how was he to sleep when being this near Gokudera made his heart pound, and knowing he was close enough to touch made his fingers tingle with urge, and - he opened his eyes and his heart skipped a couple beats - he looks like that when he's asleep.
Gokudera was so beautiful when he was asleep, mostly because he wasn't scowling. His silver hair seemed to glow in the dim lighting as it fell across his cheeks, moving slightly when disturbed by his breathing. His dark lashes contrasted starkly on his skin, making it look like porcelain. As Yamamoto watched his eyes moved underneath his lids, and Yamamoto wondered what he was dreaming about. Was it pleasant? Was it about someone? Was he in it?
He scoffed himself at that one, he highly doubted it. Gokudera didn't even like to be in his presence, let alone call him a friend or even think about something more. Their relationship had improved some and it wasn't uncommon for them to be together even without Tsuna, but Yamamoto had a feeling that it only happened because of a mix of making Tsuna happy and Gokudera not really having anyone else to hang out with. But he didn't mind, because no matter what the reason he got to be with Gokudera.
At first he had found Gokudera to be rude and annoying and couldn't understand why Tsuna would hang out with such a jerk. But as time passed he got peeks of what he was really like, and the more he learned the more he grew to like him. And then one day very much like this one he had been lying next to him trying to sleep, but couldn't and was trying to figure out why he was so worked up. And then he realized it, he had fallen for his friend.
He tried not to make it awkward and to act normal, but he had become a blushing mess and was honestly surprised his friends hadn't noticed and called him out for acting weird. He found himself staring, and when they accidently touched and Gokudera didn't immediately flinch away he held the contact for as long as possible. He sat too close, his touch lingered, and he followed Gokudera around like a puppy. He knew he was doing it but couldn't help himself, he was just so drawn to the silverette. He wanted to make a move, to take the next step, but not only was he scared of certain rejection but also about what would happen after rejection. Would his friends view him differently? Would they stop being his friends? He couldn't bare to lose any of his few real friends.
So he would keep this thing to himself, even if it meant restless nights and a restless heart. It was better this way, better than the turmoil that would surely follow if he confessed his feelings. Gokudera smiled softly in his sleep and Yamamoto felt that he would surely die soon from his heart stopping so often. He smiled to himself, having these small moments were worth the heartache of keeping this to himself.
If only he could fall asleep.
And if only he knew that Gokudera was a having a particularly good dream featuring him.
