Bite Me
Kabuto walks around the sound village, Otogakure, with an irritated expression on his face. He barges in Orochimaru's room who apparently was watching TV.
Kabuto: Orochimaru-sama…I want to ask you something …
Orochimaru: This better be worth my time, you're disturbing me from my favorite soap opera!
Kabuto: (Proudly) I want a cursed seal!
Orochimaru: …
Kabuto: …
Orochimaru: …what?
Kabuto: Yeah, I want a cursed seal.
Orochimaru: WHY?
Kabuto: The sound five have it and so does Sasuke and Anko…I want one too. I think I'm worthy enough to get one. I'm your best right hand man aren't I?
Orochimaru: (look around suspiciously) … are you trying something funny because if you are…
Kabuto: (interrupts) No! I'm serious! I want you to bite me and give me a cursed seal! I want to be able to become stronger and turn into some weird messed up looking creature!
Orochimaru: You wouldn't be able to handle it… (Looking more confused) You practically have to die just to withstand it and that's IF you can withstand it. Even if you do you're a slave to it.
Kabuto: (whining like a child stomping the ground) I don't care!! I want the special treatment!! I can take it! Your best right hand man should deserve something special.
Orochimaru: (to himself) It must be a full moon out… someone actually wants a cursed …mark… (Thinking) Eh, I got nothing else better to do, I'm bored and he's an easy target…
Right when he gets up to do the jutsu, a smaller version of himself with devil horns pops up on his left shoulder.
Id: Stop right there, I may be your evil side but even I can see the something wrong about this picture!!
Orochimaru: You're my evil side…so where's my good side?
Id: good side? ... That guy vanished a long time ago my friend.
Orochimaru: Oh, yeah that's right… but who are you to tell me not to do something?
Id: Aw come on! You barely trust the guy even though he is your best spy. Don't you think it's weird for him to ask you for a curse mark? A CURSE MARK!? Who insane is gonna ask you for that!? Even that emo kid Sasuke, who now accepts it, didn't let you give it to him that easily. I think it's a trick to kill…
Kabuto: (looking at the time) Crap, I guess it'll have to be tomorrow, I got somewhere to go. (Squeezing Orochimaru's cheeks) Don't you forget, I'm gonna be here early tomorrow so you can give me that curse mark! (Lets go) Oh yeah (pushes up his glasses) make sure you brush your teeth…
Kabuto leaves out the room while Orochimaru stands there with a surprised and dumbfound look on his face. He smirks.
Orochimaru: oh, no my little four eyed friend. I know what you're up to. I knew the time would come when you would decide to betray me. I got you (rubbing hands together) you little rat!
The next morning, Orochimaru is in the fridge about to fix his self breakfast. The moment he closes the door to the fridge Kabuto is already standing there with his famous friendly grin.
Orochimaru: … (Shocked) what do you want?
Kabuto :( smiling) Oh, you haven't forgot the little conversation we had yesterday have you?
Orochimaru: (pissed off) no…
Kabuto: (rubbing the back of his head tapping his foot) well… I'm waiting…
Orochimaru: (annoyed) …uh, its kind of early, I haven't eaten yet so my chakra level is low.
Kabuto: Ah, understandable. I shall be back then. Make sure you are ready by then.
Kabuto teleports out of the kitchen.
Orochimaru: That weak little bastard!! He's starting to get on my nerves. He has to be up to something annoying me this early in the morning. He knows I can take him out with absolutely no effort! (Squints his eyes) I got my eyes on you, you son of a bastard!
12 noon.
Orochimaru takes a stroll around the village. He stops and looks around to make sure he's alone and starts to yawn. He stops only to realize a hand in his mouth. He looks and sees it to be Kabuto's hand. Out of shock he spits Kabuto's hand out.
Orochimaru: (enraged) Alright you lame medical ninja! Give me one reason why I shouldn't KILL YOU!!??
Kabuto: (smiling with a glare in his glasses) Why would you want to kill me? I didn't do anything; you promised me a cursed mark seal. I was just making it easier for you.
Orochimaru: (enraged) WTF!? I didn't promise…
A random sound ninja interrupts and asks for Kabuto.
Sound ninja: Kabuto, I've been looking all over for you…
Kabuto: Why? What is it? I'm in the middle of something very important.
Orochimaru: (mumbling and rolling his eyes)
Sound ninja: Its Kin, Zaku, and Dosu. They need your help right now.
Kabuto: What the hell do they want my help for?
Sound ninja: Well they went swimming and Dosu forgot to take that sound device off his arm before he jumped into the pool and well… a big explosion and now they are hurt…
Kabuto: (growls in anger) Dammit! You know I'm not the only medical ninja here! Whatever. Fine I'm coming. (Turns to Orochimaru who was sneaking off) I'll be back for you… (He smiles)
Kabuto walks off with the sound ninja.
Orochimaru leaps for joy and starts to do a (pathetic) victory dance. Kidoumaru, from the sound four walks by and smiles at the insanity of the sight.
Kidoumaru: Ooh, ooh, I wanna dance too!
Kidoumaru walks beside Orochimaru and starts doing the Charleston. Orochimaru notices Kidoumaru dancing next to him and stops out of embarrassment. Humiliated, he smacks him so hard he spins around.
Orochimaru: You idiot… (Rubbing his forehead and shaking his head in disgrace)
Kidoumaru: (holding his head) Sorry Orochimaru-sama I don't know what came over me I couldn't help…
Orochimaru: Whatever, just get out of my sight before I give you something to really cry about.
Kidoumaru yelps and runs away. Orochimaru sighs and shakes his head. He thinks to his self.
Orochimaru: Why would that little punk want this seal? He can easily heal it, he's not strong enough… it really is a trap. But if it is, there must be more to this for him, a medical ninja, to be challenging me, a Sannin. I think everyone is in on this. Trust no one…
Orochimaru snakes off with narrow eyes and a smirk on his face.
Later in the day the sound four are talking about the very interesting day they had.
Sakon: Is it me or has Orochimaru-sama been acting odd lately?
Kidoumaru: (jumps in) Yeah I got smacked extra hard because I was dancing beside him today!
Tayuya: (has an annoyed look on her face) Why the fuck were you dancing in the first fucking place octopus arms?
Kidoumaru: (defensive) HE WAS DANCING TOO!
Tayuya: (rolls her eyes) yeah right, like he would ever do such a thing you idiot!
Kidoumaru: (heated) you stupid bitch stop being mean to me!
Tayuya: (balling up her fist) what did you just call me you sorry piece of shit that has six fucking arms but still don't know how to use em!?
Kidoumaru: Well at least I can swing em and fight with em than just play a damn FLUTE!!
Tayuya: (now red with anger) WHY YOU LITTLE…
Jiroubou grabs her and slams her down to the ground. While holding her she still tries to fight him off yelling.
Tayuya :( thrashing around) Get off me you fat dick shit; I'm gonna fucking kill that freak of nature!
Sakon: …uh…anyways. I think we should check around and see what's going on with him, Kabuto too; he's been singing a song about the cursed seal all day long.
Ukon: well however we go about doing this let's try not to make it obvious, we don't want to mess up and make him pissed off.
Tayuya: Why do we have to listen to you? Since when were you the leader?
Sakon: Since the moment you all became morons. (He says calmly)
Tayuya gets ready to punch them but Sakon stops her fist with his hand.
Sakon: (arrogantly) don't try me girl, I'll hurt in more ways then you can think of. Both of us!
Tayuya steps back and rubs her hand mumbling to herself.
Sakon: So do we all agree on this?
The rest all agree.
To be continued...
