Paint It Black

By Selene Jeager

As my alarm buzzed the fog that collectively polluted my mind with sleep dissipated as my brow furrowed. Was it already time to get up? It wasn't until then that I remembered that I'd forgotten to turn the damned alarm off and that it was a Saturday. Rolling over I threw my arm towards the red blur and eventually shut the thing up but I knew the sleep button was only the calm before another sound-induced storm. Scooting upwards, since I drifted down in my sleep, I sighed as I fumbled around with the buttons before I knew for sure I'd effectively silenced it.

With a sigh I rolled over on the firm, yet comfortable, mattress and stretched. Where I had expected silence I heard, instead, a low broken hissing noise for a long moment. I wanted to just go back to sleep but the noise made it hard to do. Maybe a pipe had broken behind one of the walls close by. There were a lot of steam conduits that ran alongside the water pipes to prevent them from freezing but when I reached over to turn my nightstand lamp on it had softened considerably before stopping all together. As awake as I'd become and as bad as my insomnia had grown over the recent years I sided with just getting the hell up; so much for sleeping in for once.

Ever since last week during our move out to this frigid shit hole I'd had no chance to relax and I'd heard even Sniper Wolf, the other female of the group, complain about it all. Liquid had been very strange about this last move and even the location chosen for this training exercise raised a few eyebrows. Why of all god-forsaken places did someone want to build a fucking nuclear disposal facility on a remote island and why did he just have to choose THIS ONE?

Squinting my eyes readjusted before a grimace took its place, 'This is all a load of bullshit."

Blinking I looked to the door groggily and had to do a double take. For a moment, I swore up and down, that I'd just seen an outline of something...someone. Just what I need...a HAUNTED remote nuclear weapons disposal facility.

A shower-that had to be the solution. Just the wake up call needed. Throwing myself over to the side of the bed I reluctantly crawled out of the warm sheets and suddenly regretted the decision. Throwing my arms across my chest I rubbed my arms as I quickly rummaged though my undergarment drawer, grabbed a pair of panties and moved across the room in a manner that would have you believe she were being shot at. Jumping in the cold ass shower I quickly aimed the nozzle away from any inch of my body until the water heated up and just as quickly immersed myself under the warm therapeutic heat.

Rinse, lather, and repeat or whatever the hell people called a shower routine. It didn't take long before I was hymning a tune that had recently been on the radio while I'd been in Detroit, the units last residence, and it was then that I feel dead in my tracks.. Turing to the shower curtains slowly I couldn't see anything but didn't dare take my eyes away, "If some body's there...you'd better show yourself now or I'm going to beat you within a bloody inch of your life!"

A voice echoed though not the air but through my mind, "I'd like to see you try..." it hissed and with that I could only imagine my eyes were the size of saucers. It was then that I knew exactly who the hell it was.

"Psycho..." my voice ran silent as hands materialized though the tile behind. Fingers grabbed at my arms holding me firmly as they reared back towards the tile holding them in a manner similar to shackles. As I looked what once felt and were hands really were shackles.

"What in the fuck..." I kept my voice full of strength. There was no way in hell I'd give him any satisfaction out of his twisted ways-would not appear weak in front of him. Liquid and the others had warned that Mantis very much liked to mentally torment members of the Genome Army that they did training exercises with on and off but never had he messed with another member of the FOXHOUND unit...so why now?

He still had not shown his presence but what I could feel were eyes everywhere. The fact that I was naked before him didn't exactly help but somehow I managed to stay focused.

"You do realize your going to be in deep shit when Liquid finds out what your-"

"What I'm what..." his voice echoed though the room bouncing off the walls in a disorienting effect as nausea crawled though me, "doing to his beloved little sister?" I couldn't see him but I could feel a smile through his gas mask a mile away.

He could read minds and he'd beaten me to the punch; there wasn't exactly much I could say in retort but obviously my silence said everything he wanted to hear. My thoughts raced around violently for escape but I had no idea how to break his spell over me.

"Your an interesting one Ms. Jeager," he snickered. His distorted voice sent chills over my body but I wouldn't allow myself to let the thought fully form.

"Is that supposed to be your idea of a complement? I thought you didn't like women...much less people in general. I've seen the disgust you give Wolf as well as the others."

"Very observant as well as interesting, I'll give you that," he sneered, "but you act like you're not without your own problems. You pass judgement over me and ignore your own problems."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I lied. Psycho Mantis-self-proclaimed psychic extraordinaire. Master of psychokinesis, telepathy, and an ingenious mind reader. At this point it wasn't out of respect that I thought these things but fear and my resolve was beginning to waver. There hadn't been many people to see her naked but it made her uneasy to say the least. However with Mantis, the bareness extended beyond just her body but her mind.

"Of course you don't. Your just so strong aren't you? So strong you can't allow yourself to be weak in front of others. You wouldn't want to let your father or F-"

"SHUT UP!" I screamed into the room around me, "Don't you bring him up! What about you you god damned asshole? JUST WHAT SECRETS ARE YOU HIDING YOU POMPOUS DOUCHEBAG! I do what I need to make it though my days!" Rage filled my heart as I violently pulled at the shackles that bound me to the cool tile behind me. So help him if I got free I was going to rip his scrawny ass to ribbons!

Ignoring my insults he scoffed, "So spending your nights crying yourself to sleep is how you cope, eh? Doesn't sound very progressive to me!" he cackled as the shower curtain in front of me flew open. Lo and behold there he was in all his unsettling glory...Psycho Mantis.

Burying my own unease I snarled back, "Just what in the fuck do you want anyway? To get a rise out of me? To rub my own failures in my face? WHAT!"

"Pah! Simple-minded girl! I'm here to find out just what's keeping you ticking. Just why are you still moving about with ill-crafted strength? Honestly the way you think you can hide what's really going on in that heart of yours is more amusing than anything else. You may fool the others, at this point, but not I! I see through you and the others like you were all made of glass but you are all much more fragile than even that-all of your miserable disguises to cloak your own pain and misery..pathetic."

"Like your one to talk with that mask you wear!"

"Ahh, but I wear this mask for more than one reason...every mind screams their thoughts at me but yours...YOURS I CAN HEAR PAST EVEN THE FUCKING MASK! Do you have any inkling how loudly your subconscious screams at night? Louder than any of the others. WHY?"

"How the fuck should I know you fucking psychopath?"

"Oh you know...you just don't want yourself to know...you miss him don't you! You're so pathetic. You need his praise, his comfort...even his body!"

"So what if I did!" I bit my lip shaking my head, "I can't help that I'm human and I feel...even if I don't want to feel that void any longer. I'm miserable and I know that so just leave me alone if that's what this is all about-if the only reason your here is to remind me of that. Like you said...I have nightmares every night. I relive his death over and over again...as well as my fathers."

"But you can't move on, can you?"

By now I was sobbing but with all the water around me the tears were a non-existent sensation that were drowned out by my heaving, "...if this is what you wanted I hope your fucking happy...just leave me the hell alone."

Everything I'd weaved together over the last 6 years to hold what little strength I had together had all frayed and been destroyed crumpling around me...everything. I wasn't worried about making either of them proud or happy any longer. All I wished for now was an end to the pain.

"Kill me...please just do it..." I pleaded, "you got what you wanted...just make it all stop now."

I hadn't even heard his feet touch the sleek floor or his jacket leave his thin anorexic frame but he was in the shower now in front of me. I wanted to look up and greet the final blow with open arms but I just didn't care anymore. This pit of my stomach felt like it was in my throat now.

"Do it."

Nothing.

A long moment passed and I hadn't even realized he was in the shower with me now the curtain closed behind him. He was so close to me that I had to jerk back in retaliation. I'd just spent so much time lunging forward trying to rip his throat out but now that he was were I wanted him I just didn't feel like killing him anymore...or doing anything for that matter. Now, with him just inches away though, I just wanted to sink into the wall...into nothingness. I didn't wish to see light or hear the pounding of the shower head anymore...I just wanted nothing. I wanted the world around me painted black.

He had spun me though a web of emotions and even with the distance closed between us I didn't even know how to react. I felt like some pathetic animal caught in the headlights before that inevitable "splat".

When he wrapped his hands around my waist I was down a rabbit hole of confusion and even further emotional discomfort from the proximity. His thin fingers gripped my hips firmly but not uncomfortably. Taken aback I simply remained silent mouth, as I could only imagine, agape and before I knew it his gas mask had fallen to the ground and what was left of his disfigured face was inches from mine. You'd of never guessed warm breath could come from someone so fucking cold-hearted.

I couldn't move...couldn't react, "What the hell are you..."

"Shut up," he commanded and silence consumed the air around us once more.

His lips were dry and rough from the cold Alaska had brought but his skin was surprisingly smooth for someone who always looked so uneasy and stiff as himself. I'd never really paid much attention to him but when I did I examined him with a keen eye for detail and everything I thought I'd learned about this psycho had just been thrown out the window.

Swallowing hard I kissed him back. He was right...I hadn't been attached to anyone for any reason since Frank; I didn't want to hurt anymore-I couldn't even bare the thought of touching someone else. He had been worthy of the 'Fox' title, as had I, and even he had died-we all die, after all. We all die and even though I'd seen hundreds of thousands of people fall at my hand and I was all too familiar with it I refused to think that he nor I would ever do the same. Six years without human touch...without warmth and raw sex. I almost thought I'd forgotten how to feel until this moment. Its not like I had anyone to comfort me from the world...much less myself. Liquid might have been my brother but he'd never been the touchy-feely type.

Our lips parted momentarily and if there hadn't of been a rather large hot water tank it'd have been as icy as the frozen tundra outside and I'd of been freezing. His fingertips dug into my hips and I welcomed the pain more than any bullet wound or stabbing. I filled my lungs as euphoria shot up my spine-every muscle in my body tightened in anticipation.

A bit of time passed before he was biting at my the crook of my neck and over my collar bone. By now the shackles had disappeared and he had taken my raw wrists in his hands gripping them tightly as I allowed myself to become submissive for the first time in what seemed like a century. He moved both of my wrists into one hand; as thin as he was he was still somewhere around six foot three and so it was easy effort compared to how petite I was in contrast.

Using his free hand he moved his hand back to my waist before moving to the small of my back where he caressed before grabbing a handful of my ass and squeezing hard. I wondered for a very brief moment how long it had been since he'd satisfied his carnal urges. His hands did not linger long over my butt before he'd wrapped it under both of my legs and pulled them off the shower floor. Following in suit I wrapped my legs around his small waist. My groin was firmly pushed against his manhood which was hard against me.

As he moved his kisses to my breasts I groaned subtly as my own hands reached out to his bondage-type attire. After fighting through both his belts and my own lust, that was slowly intoxicating my actions, I freed the beast within his pants and slowly grinded against him. He did not groan, preferably quiet in this particular field, but his hazy blue hues showed the same level of desire mine surely held. It was not long before his hand that held my wrists at bay lowered its resolve as he moved them both back to my hips. He gave a final, fleeting, glance before I grabbed his shoulders spread my legs wide and he moved his throbbing erection deep within me.

I was surprised by just how large he was. When you thought of someone constantly as a non-sexual person you did not think past their waists more or less. His slowly thrusted into me and my quieter groans had picked up slightly in volume, "Nothing to be afraid of...harder you bastard. Deeper...and don't you dare stop," I threatened sucking in air though my teeth as my mind clouded over. I thrusted with him in unison now each move more and more forceful.

I could hear an occasional moan now, even from him; his eyes were closed and jaw clinched as he pounded faster now. Obviously sex was much like riding a bike for some people-you didn't dare forget.

"Your so fucking wet..." he murmured mid-thrust.

By now my body was coiled around his as his breaths grew shorter. My heart as hammering away in my chest and little to my knowledge I was moaning louder now and surely his code slipped into my intoxicated chant. I could feel his member grow inside of me and from the look on his face he was close-it wouldn't be much longer now. Wrapping my arms around his back I couldn't help but dig my nails into his uniform of choice as I ravaged his lips with another kiss daring to probe around the unknown of his mouth.

I felt him withdraw from me ramming his hard against my stomach as his sticky seed covered my pale skin before slowly making its way downwards to the drain. He pressed himself further against me spreading my legs father, his body deep between them as he leaned his head against the cool tile behind him. A satisfied sigh left his lips as he shook his head, "Well I defiantly needed that and by the feel of things you did as well. So..." he pulled back to look into my eyes, "did that help you come to some sort of realization?" his jigsaw face smirked.

"Well it was obviously the start of some thinking..." I mumbled. I couldn't help but smile back a little as well. Just thirty minutes ago and I wanted to kill him. Now...I just didn't know.

Closing my eyes I exhaled sharply, "Well you creepy bastard...you're just full of surprises aren't you?"

"That would be one way to put it. Now maybe your mind will shut the hell up at night. But right now," I felt one of his hands touch my face, "you mind is actually in a good place for once."

My eyes drifted open as he slowly lowered my body to the ground and he zipped up. At this point my legs didn't wish to cooperate as I sunk to the bottom of the shower. Looking up to him I swallowed my pride, "Can you..."

"Yes," he finished grabbing me once again as he turned the shower off behind us. He sat me down on the toilet and threw me a towel allowing me the dignity to dry myself. My hips ached now but I would live.

"So you liked it...do you consider it sexual assault at this point or what," he snickered.

"Oh go to hell and help me get to my bed," I grimaced staring at him hard as I threw my black wife beater on.

Sitting me down he took a seat on side of the bed next to me as I slowly looked over to him, "So now that everything's said and done...why? Was it just to get my mind to shut up or was it for the sex or both?" I questioned.

"Who knows..." he leaned forward resting his elbows into his thin thighs, "every mind works in mysterious ways-even my own. As much as people disgust me and I run from the very thought that I am human in the end I am what I am, so to speak."

I couldn't say it was exactly the answer I'd hoped to hear...I wanted reasons that were more...concrete but I supposed I'd let it slide.

"So where do I go from here?" I asked aloud more to myself than him.

"Wherever it is you wish," he mused, "just know that your father and your lover would want you to be happy much as, I'm sure, my own mother would have."

Turning to him I observed him with quizzical eyes, "Just what happened to you Mantis?"

He chuckled and his rigid lips formed a half-smile, "That, my dear, is a story for another day."

"Fine, but I'll hold you to that," I couldn't help but shake my head as my own smile resurfaced.