Truth be told, Steven was actually terrible at "text speak".
Ruby, being the wonderful boyfriend he was, volunteered his time and sanity to help his boyfriend.
Steven had gotten "YOLO" perfect and had started saying it way too frequently for Ruby's liking.
"YOLO" Steven would say after he had called in sick, the third day in a row, so he could go caving, also for the third day in a row.
Ruby was appalled. What had happened to his boyfriend? What had he done? How could it be reversed? Could it be reversed?
Ruby took a deep breath in. "Steven" he said before his cave-loving boyfriend could leave the house.
"What is it?" Steven smiled. "Would you like to join me?"
Ruby frowned, rolling his eyes, knowing this to be ridiculous. "Steven, please, take a seat."
Steven nodded and sat down across from his boyfriend.
"Steven, you have to stop saying YOLO. Only pre-teens say YOLO" he explained. "Also stop calling in sick for work or I will call your father and tell him the truth."
Steven sighed. He couldn't have his father know he wasn't working. He nodded when his PokéNav buzzed. He looked at the group message that hadn't bothered replying to. Sidney, being the charming man that he was, had replied to Phoebe with the letters "SMD".
Steven frowned. He wasn't familiar with these three letters and what their meaning was, but Phoebe's response was not at all friendly which was unlike her.
Steven looked at Ruby who appeared bored and was now filing his nails. "Uh... Ruby?"
"Mm..."
"What does SMD stand for?"
The sides of Ruby's mouth quirked up into a small smile. "Well, promise me you will go to work tomorrow and I will tell you" he smiled.
Steven nodded. "Okay."
Ruby smiled, walking over to Steven. "I think its better if I show you" he smiled, unzipping Steven's pants.
...
The next morning felt like the previous morning.
Steven walked into the kitchen where Ruby was already sitting and drinking tea. Steven picked up his PokéNav with the intent of skipping work. Yesterday there had been... many distractions. He just hadn't had time to go caving. He smiled as he brought up the last numbers dialled.
"Steven" said Ruby, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Who are you calling?"
"Work" he replied nonchalantly, not at all worried as to why Ruby's eyebrows were now frowny.
"You promised me you'd go to work" Ruby said, tutting at Steven.
Steven groaned. Then he had an idea. "Uh... what did SMD stand for again?" He tried, hoping for a little something for work motivation, and also to avoid Ruby's scorn.
"Go to work today, come home tonight and I'll suck your dick."
Steven grinned and got dressed as quick as he possibly could. He kissed Ruby's cheek and rushed out the door.
Ruby rolled his eyes and finished his tea.
Steven could be so... juvenile at times. Perhaps he should have continued to let Steven say YOLO.
