Story: Light is thinking. There is one event in his life that changed everything. One time, when he just acted reckless…

Authors note: After L – Era… however, I can't stand Mello, or Near… sometimes they (especially Near) just don't make any sense at all…

Disclaimer: I don't know who owns Death note (and am too lazy to look it up right now)… I don't. Though I wouldn't complain about Light (but, then Misa-Misa would kill me, wouldn't she?)


My biggest mistake

Recently I spend a lot of time thinking about what I did wrong.

I am 23, joined the police force, live with a super model…

And still have to fear every day that one of the people working with me finds out that I am the one they are looking for.

I am Kira.

And recently I found out that I'm far from being a god.

Actually… I've known for quite a while now.

If I was a god, then my father wouldn't have ended up pointing a gun at my head and pulling the trigger. And yes, I'm still having nightmares because of that.

If I was a god then nobody would declare Kira evil.

Kira is justice.

If I was a god then I wouldn't keep Misa around just because she has the Shinigami's eyes. If I was a god maybe I wouldn't care that it is wrong to fake I love her. Even if I think she knows… but I do care. So I tell her I love her and let her seduce me.

If I was a god, I wouldn't be that weak.

If I was a god then L wouldn't have…

He wouldn't have prosecuted me, he wouldn't have made a game out of this… he would still be alive.

If I was a god, I wouldn't have to come up with all of these reckless plans that keep me under cover.

I know I make a lot of mistakes.

I shouldn't give away the notebook that easily.

I could have found better ways to disguise my justice.

I could have acted more carefully.

Now I'm thinking too much about everything.

But I also know when I made my worst mistake.

When all this started.

I'm not talking about writing these criminals' names in the notebook.

No.

There was one time I let my pride and superbia take over. When I didn't think. When I revealed too much of myself. And if I had stayed calm back then, nothing of this would have happened. I shouldn't have let L provoke me.

I shouldn't have killed Lind L. Tailor.

That was my biggest mistake.