Story: Light is thinking. There is one event in his life that changed everything. One time, when he just acted reckless…
Authors note: After L – Era… however, I can't stand Mello, or Near… sometimes they (especially Near) just don't make any sense at all…
Disclaimer: I don't know who owns Death note (and am too lazy to look it up right now)… I don't. Though I wouldn't complain about Light (but, then Misa-Misa would kill me, wouldn't she?)
My biggest mistake
Recently I spend a lot of time thinking about what I did wrong.
I am 23, joined the police force, live with a super model…
And still have to fear every day that one of the people working with me finds out that I am the one they are looking for.
I am Kira.
And recently I found out that I'm far from being a god.
Actually… I've known for quite a while now.
If I was a god, then my father wouldn't have ended up pointing a gun at my head and pulling the trigger. And yes, I'm still having nightmares because of that.
If I was a god then nobody would declare Kira evil.
Kira is justice.
If I was a god then I wouldn't keep Misa around just because she has the Shinigami's eyes. If I was a god maybe I wouldn't care that it is wrong to fake I love her. Even if I think she knows… but I do care. So I tell her I love her and let her seduce me.
If I was a god, I wouldn't be that weak.
If I was a god then L wouldn't have…
He wouldn't have prosecuted me, he wouldn't have made a game out of this… he would still be alive.
If I was a god, I wouldn't have to come up with all of these reckless plans that keep me under cover.
I know I make a lot of mistakes.
I shouldn't give away the notebook that easily.
I could have found better ways to disguise my justice.
I could have acted more carefully.
Now I'm thinking too much about everything.
But I also know when I made my worst mistake.
When all this started.
I'm not talking about writing these criminals' names in the notebook.
No.
There was one time I let my pride and superbia take over. When I didn't think. When I revealed too much of myself. And if I had stayed calm back then, nothing of this would have happened. I shouldn't have let L provoke me.
I shouldn't have killed Lind L. Tailor.
That was my biggest mistake.
