Mai subtly opened the door to where Naru was sitting and reading in his office and gently set down the cup of earl grey tea in front of the man. It had been a month since he had returned. A year since the... Incident. The incident being the confession, of course. And Naru was honestly concerned about her. She had been very, very quiet lately, without her usual chatter and laughter. There were purple bags under her eyes, and she was incredibly thin. The useless banter between them was gone, and it was driving him insane.

He had come back to England because he missed her, for god's sake! But she had changed in the months he was gone. And it's not like the rest of his team could tell. Ayako and Monk were on their honeymoon, Yasu was finishing exams and therefore wasn't there, and Masako was overseas for a new show. Lin didn't really care, he didn't particularly like the brunette. She tried, being incredibly nice to him, but he found her inept.

Mai turned to leave the room, before stopping at the door. Naru watched her out of his peripheral vision. Her brown hair curled around her face, and her caramel eyes looked vaguely curious. "Um, Naru..." She asked, after hesitating, "why is your book upside down...?"

Naru mentally cursed. Dammit! I was too absorbed in thinking about her.. An idiot move, I need to get back to work. "I was looking at a diagram. You're to stupid to understand it, anyway," He lied smoothly, mentally patting his back at the quick fix. Her pale cheeks reddened, but she only looked at the floor and replied "Yeah, your probably right," before continuing out of the room. Naru frowned. He actually, for some reason, missed her yelled insults back when he said such things.

He righted his book and started to read

Time skip***************************

"Mai?" Naru asked, shocked, "you're still here?"

"Eh?" Mai startled, jumping slightly. She crumpled the paper she was writing in her hands. Naru mentally sighed, with the jobs they were on she never had enough time for her homework, and she was starting to fail school.

"It's ten? Are you so dumb you can't read the time?" He scolded gently, sipping down the rest of her tea. Mai's cheeks colored to the red he loved, and he smirked.

"I must have lost track of time," Mai mumbled, grabbing her coat. "I'll get going."

She left the workplace as Naru fetched Lin, it was time to go home. It was almost eleven, and he was actually very tired. He and Lin drove home in a comfortable silence, each man wrapped in his own thoughts.

As he crawled into bed, Naru couldn't help but think of a certain tea making assistant and smile. Maybe one of these days, he would tell her he loved her.

Time skip************

Naru was worried. Mai was an hour late, and she had been sickly all month.

Tick. Tick.

Naru glared at the clock. Each second was a second without her, a second without her tea, her smile, her... Mai-ness. Mai was Mai.

Tick. Tick.

"I''m going out!" Naru declared in a growl, grabbing his coat.

"Naru!" Lin protested. But the younger man was already heading downstairs to where his car was located- black, of course. It took him ten minutes to get to her house, and the entire time he gripped the wheel tightly, drumming his fingers.

When he finally reached her apartment, it took all of his self control not to run up there and throw open the door. Instead he briskly walked to her front door.

"Mai?" He called, knocking on the door. "It's me. Kazuya. Let me in." There was no reply. He pressed the doorbell to no avail. The brown wooden door was locked, so he checked under the welcome mat for her spare key. It was there, so he let himself in.

The first thing he saw was how empty it was. The living room and kitchen were bare (except for the furniture, which was also sparse) was empty of anything, save a single note.

"Mai?" He called. No reply. He was going to walk right past the paper, when he saw his name written on it. He froze. He suddenly felt cold wash over him. Freezing, freezing cold.

Tick. Tick.

"Naru", It stated simply. Naru picked it up. It was a full length letter, color coded. At the beginning of each color was a name. Monk was at the top. Naru scanned it and felt his stomach drop.

Don't let this be what I think this is. Let this be a misunderstanding. Let this be a dream. Please!

"Dear Bou-San,

Your the big brother I never had. Your like my father. You've always been able to lift my spirits when I was sad. You made the best music, and we're so sweet to me. Thank you for being my dad when I needed one. I couldn't have asked for a better one."

Dimly, Naru realized she was speaking in past tense. His mind seemed numb, like he couldn't really comprehend what he was seeing.

"Ayako.

You were my mother bear, so protective of me. You always made sure I was safe, emotionally AND physically. You trusted me even when I doubted you, and you were so strong. I'm surprised Bou-San hasn't been given a concussion!"

Naru was panicking now. What was this?

"Yasu-

You big flirt. No one made me laugh as long or hard as you did. You always lifted my spirits with your pranks and plots and theories. Thank you for helping me with schoolwork, I couldn't have even gotten (not that well) where I got without you.

Father John,

You are the sweetest and most charitable person I know. All you want to do is help people and appease your God. You never gave into temptation, you are so strong willed. I wish I was like you."

"Mai..." Naru's voice cracked. "What did you do...?"

"Lin,

I know you never liked me much. You think I'm dumb and can't do anything, and your right. I only get in the way. I'm sorry for everything I've caused you.

Masako,

Well, Masako. We were rivals. We both loved Naru. But I've given up. You are beautiful and talented and can offer him fame and money and perfection. I can offer him tea, which everyone can give. You deserve him, and he loves you. He rejected me, which was only to be expected. I wish you two a long and happy life together."

Naru was horrified. She had it all wrong. He hadn't rejected her! He loved her, not Masako! Mai was imperfect, and that was the perfect thing about her. She wasn't dumb, she was very intuned to others. She was naïve, but that just made her, if possible, even cuter. Not to mention, no one can make tea like her.

"Naru."

Naru froze, looking at the paper. He didn't want to read more, but his eyes were already looking down, scanning the paper. Her handwriting was messy, and the paper crumpled. There were tear stains on the paper, and he wasn't sure if they were hers or his, or if he was even crying.

He had never cried before, not even with Gene. He had been to numb then. And Mai had opened him up. And now he had found this paper- what did this paper even mean?

"Naru.

Perfect Naru. You were so intelligent, yet idiotic. How could you think I loved Gene? I loved you. It was always you."

Naru's breath caught in his throat. 'Loved?' What did that mean? But who cared? It was him! It was always him, and her, Naru and Mai, Mai and Naru.

"Yet you were so out of reach. You were smart, I was dumb. You were strong, I was weak. You were talented, and me clumsy. You beautiful, and me ugly. You were mature, and I was childish. You could do and had done so many things, the only thing I have ever achieved is making a mediocore tea recipe.

When I found out you had only hired me for free labor, I was hurt, but it made sense. It's not like I could do anything, or knew anything about the paranormal. I was always getting mad at you and wasting precious time.

I realized every mean thing or name you had ever said or called me was correct. It's true, all true.

I want you to know this isn't your fault, Naru. You do things like that, blame yourself. You didn't do anything but help me see the truth, and that's okay. It's okay, Naru."

"What isn't my fault?!" Naru thought, almost tearing the paper. "What?!"

"There are other things. You don't know this, but my old friends at school got afraid of me when they learned about my dreams. I'm teased daily, even by teachers, like that one girl we helped. They're all right to do so, of course. I'm so dumb I don't even know how I got to the grade I'm in.

The dreams at night are worse. They are so bad, so bad. I can't sleep for fear of them. I cry and cry and cry.

They raised the rent. I got another job outside of your job. I'm so tired.

I love you, Naru, but you can't ever love me back. I'm a freak. It's okay. I know that. I can't do anything right, and even THIS is a burden. I realize that cremation costs money, so I saved up for it so that's one less trouble. I also saved up for rent so you don't have to pay for that. It's attached to the back of the letter. I don't have enough for a proper funeral, but it's not like I need one. And you can keep the money from selling my things. I know that you, Naru, are addicted to tea, and switching types of tea can be hard, so I wrote down my recipe as to not burden you further. You next assistant can make it, maybe."

Naru froze. Cremation...? Funeral...? Selling her things? Next, new assistant?

It all kicked into place. He realized what she had done.

"Don't be sad. I loved you all. You were my family, and I let you all down. I was never one of you, not really. I was always too much of a freak. I couldn't even save my parents. Just forget about me, okay? That would be best.

I'm sorry guys, I'm sorry for everything."

Naru dropped the paper. It floated to the ground, drifting through the air before landing softly. He had to stop her.

He ran through her house. Bedroom, empty. Living room, empty. Kitchen, empty. Bathroom- Mai was in the bathtub. Her wrists were slit, and blood was pouring out. Naru let out a strangled noise and flew at her. He ripped off his shirt and tore it in two, wrapping them around her arms as fast as he humanly could. He called the police, screaming at them to come, that the most wonderful woman alive was dying at 441 Downing Street. He didn't know how much time passed before he heard the sirens. He just knew one thing as tears dripped down his cheeks for the first time since infancy- that he had let Mai down, and she had killed herself because of it.