RUMPLE and PAN in the UNDERWORLD Part One

Mr. Gold: Hello, Papa.
Malcolm: Rumple, please. You can stop this. Remove the dagger. We can start over. (Smiles) We can have a happy ending.
Mr. Gold: Oh, but I'm a villain. And villains don't get happy endings.

In a flash the pain ceased altogether and Rumple found himself still embracing his father Malcolm, who was once again a grown-up. The pair were standing at the edge of a lake surrounded by mist. It was Malcolm who broke the embrace first, shoving his son away.

"What have you done?!"

Both men instinctively back away and begin warily circling each other as their minds tried to fathom what had just happened. Once again it was Malcolm who acted first raising his hand to summon a fireball...which never appeared.

Rumple smiled. "Looks like your magic is all dried up, papa. Was it perhaps tied to your youth?" he shrugged, "...whoops."

"Looks like you're getting a reprieve then, Laddie." said Malcolm, looking rather disconcerted at the return of the older deeper timbered voice he hadn't heard in centuries. "For now." he added challengingly.

"I don't think you seem to understand what going on here, Papa." Rumple replied, "Look around you... do you see Storybrook? Face it Papa... we're dead! I think the time for fighting has passed, don't you? Why can't you let go of Peter Pan and be my papa again...while you still can."

"Nonsense, laddie, I see a mist over water...looks like Neverland to me. Did you transport us here to abandon me to the mercies of the shadows? Do you think that just because I'm a few years older that they won't recognize their leader?!"

"Shut up, Papa! We are not in Neverland and I can prove it too you...Look!" He pointed around the lake where a lone light bobbed in the distance. In a moment the light drew closer and the men could see that it was actually a boat driven by a creature in a dark robe that held aloft an old-fashioned oil-lamp that seemed spookily unaffected by the damp mist surrounding them.

"Oh my God." breathed Malcolm as the realization sunk in at last, "We're dead...I'm dead! YOU killed us both!" Furious Malcolm leapt upon his son and tried to strangle him, but it soon became apparent that this attack had no more effect on Rumple than his earlier attempt at magic had.

"Dead men don't need to breath, Papa." he said, sounding surprisingly calm with his father's hands wrapped around his throat. "It is appointed unto men ONCE to die and after that...judgment."

"Well I don't see any judges here, laddie." said Malcolm a trifle sullenly. "And I don't think either of us wants to see that happen. Now do we?"

"You left me no choice."

"I gave you your chance! You didn't take it." he paused, "And don't think that they'll let you into the 'better' place just for killing me! One good deed..."

"...is not enough to redeem a lifetime of wickedness." finished Rumple, "Three or four lifetimes really." he corrected, "I'm well aware of that saying and no, I don't expect to go to a better place at all. In fact I expect we'll both be in whatever torment the worse place has to offer its honored guests very soon. But you know what papa? ...I don't care. I saved my son and I saved Belle and I can live with whatever consequences are waiting for me now."

"Live with...funny choice of words for this place." Malcolm muttered as the barge docked.

The bargeman beckoned them on board with a bony hand.

A few minutes...or hours...or days later they arrived at a strangely familiar dock to find a well-dressed man waiting for them.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't Peter Pan and Rumplestiltskin." the well-dressed man greeted them warmly, offering them each a hand to disembark from the barge. "How very nice to finally meet you." he said, shaking each of their hands in turn, adding "I'm a big fan."

"Wish I could say the same." Rumple muttered, "What is this place?"

"This gentlemen...is the underworld. A weigh station to eternal damnation if you will."

"A momentary reprieve then?" commented Rumple.

"A place to work out our unfinished business?" Malcolm queried.

"Well that could take some time." quipped Rumple.

"Why does this place look like Storybrooke?" Malcolm asked looking around, "That doesn't make any sense at all now does it?"

"Your questions are pointless." said Hades as he gestured for the Stiltskin men to follow him into town.

Hades didn't bother with a guided tour, he simply strolled into town and led his new guests down Main Street, drinking in the looks of fear and loathing the appearance of two such distinguished guests caused among the denizens of his decaying realm.

"They do seem a bit mob like, don't they?" Hades commented as more and more people began pouring into the street to gape at them. "Mind the pitchforks" he added, though actually there wasn't a pitchfork in site.

"Great. We're going to be torn apart by a bunch of lame peasants without a decent story between them and end up spending eternity in like forty distinct pieces instead of in Neverland." Malcolm grumbled.

"Eternity in Neverland with you? I'd rather be torn apart by peasants." Rumple muttered.

"I would've let you bring your wife. And Henry too of course. I still need his heart after all."

"Belle isn't my wife, and you are never going to get your hands on my grandson's heart again."

"Not even married yet? Cor you do take your time, laddie. I'd think you would be in a hurry to bind the girl to you before she can change her mind. Family is important my boy! Why your mother and I may not have had a long marriage, but we LIVED while we could."

"I don't need a lecture on family from YOU...papa."

"Gentlemen, gentlemen. No need to squabble." interrupted Hades. "Ah, yes. We're here." he said leading them into a familiar shop. "What do you think of your new underworld pawn shop?" he asked.

"I have no interest in settling in here." Rumple growled.

"Oh, no...no." Hades laughed humorlessly, "I can see why you'd think that. But...no."

Rumple shook his head, "I don't understand."

"The shop is actually for your father."

"What?!" both men protest their dislike of this arrangement, but Hades simply holds up his hand and says, "The deal is done. Malcolm will run the shop..."

"I don't want to run a bloody shop! I'm Peter Pan not Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater!"

"What if I gave you back your eternal youth in the bargain?"

Malcolm crossed his arms, "And my magic. I'd want my magic back."

Hades pretended to hum and haw about it... "Done!" he said snapping his fingers. In a flash Malcolm was Pan once more, though now he wore a suit which was a bit more befitting of the respectable business man he was now to become. Respectable being a relative term down here (as so many things were).

Rumple frowned and Hades said, "Don't worry Rumple. I haven't forgotten you. YOU my dear...friend? Can I can you friend?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Fine then." he paused, "YOU Rumple are my biggest...supplier of souls EVER. Though I admit you have been rather...stingy of late."

Rumple's frown deepened.

"So what I really want is for you to get back out there and go back to being, well...YOU."

"You can do that? You can send me back?" He sounded hopeful, yet unbelieving.

"Well let's just say I have a friend up there. A rather...colorful friend, who will be only too happy to assist in your...return."

"What's your price? All magic comes with a price."

"Impossible to say I'm afraid."

"You mean you don't know?"

"NO. I mean I won't tell you."

"Then I won't agree to your deal."

"Who said I needed your agreement? Deals like so many other things are quite different down here..."