Disclaimer: I own all of Harry Potter, made warnerbros, and am horribly rich.

I wish.

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but it doesn't fit to add anything else. Future chapters will be longer. (LJ) Lily's and Marauder's POV switch off.


Chapter 1: Sorting Thoughts.

When a casual observer looked at Lily Evans, they would not see anyone of particular interest. A Gryffindor by the look of her badge, a nerd by the look of her clothes. And, not to be rude, she wasn't the prettiest girl. Her freckles running up and down her nose made a clown of her, and the way she pulled up her beautiful hair into a rather long ponytail did not help. Her hair, which might have been her only true beauty, was hidden away by none other than herself.

If the more keen observer looked farther, they might have noticed how she shuffled her feet when she walked, or how she never looked people straight in the eye, except for a special few. The keen observer, if looking closer, would also have noticed the hand bag almost overflowing with books, and the attempt at a flirty smile she always gave when looking at a certain Severus Snape.

An expert at observing, over a few weeks, just might have noticed the hopeful flare in her eyes every time she looked at Slytherin boys walking past, the way she forced that flirty laugh to come when she saw Severus, and the way that whenever James Potter and his friends appeared anywhere near her, she would have to tighten all her muscles to avoid smiling, or doing the usual twirl with her bright red hair.

But Lily Evans, whatever everyone might think, was not a nerd. She wasn't even all that smart. She hadn't ended up in Ravenclaw, had she? She did not get all her Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Levels just by being a wit. For Lily Evans, the shy girl, the quiet one, the one who no one really knew, who no one really cared about, had a secret. More than one secret really; more like a bag of secrets. All stuffed up in her head, and nobody knew, nobody gave a care in the world.

Lily who?

So everyone was up in the common room, chatting about the excellent win for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, again. Who really gave a care what everyone else was doing? Lily was perfectly content to sit there, her long hair, for once waving with the wind and not attached for added ugliness. Her face facing the grass growing lazily by the pond, and her beautiful blue eyes watching as the giant squid swam back and fourth across it.

She had a few pieces of drawing paper in front of her, but each of them had nothing on it. Well, it looked like they had once. Through the massive scribbles all over the pages, you could see a few shaded parts of beautiful sketches. One had something to do with Lily herself, and someone else who looked remarkably like a certain James Potter. Another was a horribly funny but mean one of Snape in grandmother's clothing. But now, through the scratches and scribbles and tears, you could hardly see what they had once been.

It didn't matter anyway. Lily couldn't for the life of her imagine when Snape, in any appearance or form, would appear in Grandmother's clothing. Especially because of the big red hand bag she had given him.

And the other picture…STOP IT! The thought sizzled across her brain. She had to stop. This wasn't healthy, she had to, had to, had to stop. Snape was her destiny. he was of a good family. He was smart and witty. He was in Slytherin. She deserved nothing better. Lily really, really tried to think that way. I mean, she really, really tried. But as Dumbledore would say: Alas! She couldn't. And it was hopeless trying. Lily, for the millionth time in her life, frowned at a recollection of a memory she had revived once and once again.

"Evans, Lily." Professor McGonagall shouted, looking straight at her, with something strangely like excitement in her eyes. Lily trembled all over, and took a few quick but bold steps to the hat, sat on the stool, and quickly, without bothering a look at the murmuring crowd, slipped the hat over her eyes.

Lily. I've been expecting you. Lily said nothing. She merely searched inside the hat to find something a little more interesting than what it had just said. Wow. Thousands of thoughts, ideas, firm beliefs…were had Dumbledore gotten this hat? Poking through me, are you? Said the hat abruptly, making Lily jump. Full of wit, oh! And intelligence too. But..where to put you?

Hardly listening, she continued her search. Suddenly, she saw something that made her tremble all over: The hat's thought's on HER. Oh. God. Breath…just breath…why did the word GRYFFINDOR keep appearing so much? Her hands begin to feel sweaty. Please, not Gryffindor, not Gryffindor, I was meant for Slytherin! Do you hear me you stupid hat, I was meant for Slyther—in? The hat interrupted her thoughts slyly. Do you really think so? I really prefer a Gryffindor mix for someone like you. Bravery, Loyalty. SLYTHERIN! PlEASE! But you do not want Slytherin, my dear. It is not what you truly want. You want Gryffindor.

Her mind spinned. She had never once thought she wanted Gryffindor. Where did the hat get it's information? She searched deeper into it's mind, finding memories of judging older students, but before she could reach her mother…Yes, I really do think that's the proper choice, don't you? I usually let students choose, but in this case, I really am afraid I must choose for you. GRYFFINDOR!!! The hat shouted out happily, as if nothing of importance had happened.

Dreadingly, sweating all over, a stench of unhappiness covering her face, she slowly took off the hat. Somehow, as she laid it on the table, her pinky still connected with its mind, it whispered at her: It is the right choice, you know. One day, you will agree with me. She trudged off to the Gryffindor table, and as she came closer, hearing the clapping, she realized what she must do.

Smiling with the rest of them, looking cheerful after all, she sat down and began to eat, and by the end of the meal, she really looked as delighted by everything as the rest of them. And thus, her life with a mask had begun.

Hours later, Lily was still, as always, sitting against a tree, and doodling on her papers. Now that she really thought about it, it all had started with the sorting. First, she had been full to bursting with questions, but now, she only had one. Why? Why Gryffindor? How could the hat be so evil as to place her in GRYFFINDOR? Didn't it know how miserable her life had been because of that? Okay, maybe a little more than one question. But that wasn't the point. The point was that everything she had ever known or thought or felt, everything, was turned upside down the moment that stupid hat had shouted Gryffindor.

Lily sighed, and slowly began to roll her papers together, tying them with her hair band she had carefully untangled from her hair. She shook her head, and as her hair got loose and flowed behind her shoulders, Lily sighed a deep, mournful sigh. What was the point? There was nothing she could do about anything now. Everything depended on someone else. Which was fine. No, it wasn't fine, but Lily, for once, didn't feel like fighting. She slowly stepped out of the grass, and went inside the castle.

Will you, Severus Snape, take Lily Evans as your wife?

"Yes. I will."

And will you, Lily Evans, take Severus Snape as your husband?

Lily looked at Severus, his eyes shining with love. But where her eyes shining back? She didn't know. She didn't feel anything. Should she? Should she feel for this man who she was going to marry? But what if...what if someone else...? Her imagination let James Potter take the place were Severus was.

"Yes! Yes I do!" She jumped a little, turning to see James...Severus smiled, leaning in for their kiss...

"No!" Lily sat up in bed, shaking with nerves. Just a dream..a dream...not real. She shivered, pulling the blanket from burying herself in it. Why was her heart pumping so fast? Why did she feel her hands and arms shake under the blankets? It hadn't even been a nightmare. It hadn't even been a proper wedding ceremony. But then, for a second time, she envisioned in her mind Severus leaning in for the kiss...oh god. Oh God. She couldn't. She couldn't imagine even kissing him. Two tears trailed down her cheeks. Just a dream...just a dream. But if that was just a dream...how would she cope with it once it happened in real life?

Lily Evans was one determined person. When she needed something, she would get it. Or, as in this case, when she thought she needed something. Lily Evans did not need Severus Snape. But Lily Evans was going to get him.


A/N: Please R&R!