Kazuko
Chapter One:
The Move
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."
-St. Augustine
Moving in with her boyfriend was a mistake. She learned, through much denial, that their relationship consisted of her playing housemaid and the good-for-nothing boyfriend playing video games all day.
Every now and then he'd shout, "Makoto, food! Now!"
And Makoto would happily comply, lost in a blissful daze, dreaming of a future with a wedding, children, and a dog or two. A big happy family. A family Makoto lost long ago and desperately craved.
She missed the feeling of her dad's strong arms enveloping her in a hug, while she cried out, "Otosan, I can't move!" She missed the days she'd rest her face on her mother's pregnant belly, falling asleep to sweet lullabies. She missed the sibling she never had. She cried on the days she let herself remember she didn't know what her father's hugs felt like or the sound of her mother's voice.
And so, Makoto continued to tolerate the shouts from her boyfriend, his lack of searching for a new job when he was fired for too many days he was "sick" playing video games, and the extra job she took on in order to cover rent.
It took the quietest of her friends, Ami, to finally say enough is enough, when for the third time that day her boyfriend asked her for "more food" and asked "did you do my laundry yet? I'm out of clean clothes!" All the while he continued to play video games, ignoring Makoto's attention for affection.
Ami had grabbed Makoto's arm as she reached for the mixing spoon, took her into her arms, and rather loudly said, "You're done. You deserve better than this."
Her boyfriend paused the game, turned and said, "Makoto's right where she needs to be. Taking care of me. That's all she needs. No one's going to love her like I do."
It was at that moment that Makoto realized she wasn't loved. Not by him. Love was Ami's wise words. Love was the warmth and care she felt in Ami's hug. Love was from her friends who had been hinting at her dead-end relationship, telling her she deserved more. Ami was right. I deserve more, she thought.
Before Makoto could take a step forward after her realization and punch her boyfriend for his hurtful words and for taking advantage of her for five months, Ami, sweet, little, three-month pregnant Ami, had already made her way to him and gave him a jab that would leave a mark for days and longer. The TV screen flashed, 'YOU ARE DEAD,' while her boyfriend lay on floor, passed out. Makoto didn't know Ami had it in her.
Ami packed her bags, gathered their mutual friends to recover the remainder of Makoto's belongings. She pampered Makoto to the extent that Makoto felt like she could remember what her father's hugs felt like and the sound of her mother's voice. She remembered the sound of her sibling's heartbeat when she went with Ami to her ultrasound. However, Ami's love and care couldn't dull Makoto's craving for familial love.
She'd see the love she wanted between Ami and her husband, Satoru. He'd, without being asked, make Ami's favorite tea ready to-go in the morning before he'd leave for work. Upon returning, he'd sweep scrub-clad Ami, added weight and all, off her feet and order her to stay on the couch while he sat on the floor, where for thirty minutes he'd talk to the baby. Ami's hand would caress his curls, a blissful smile on her lips.
Today, just like every other day, Satoru had just returned from work and gathered a protesting Ami into his arms.
"Satoru, I'm four months along. This isn't safe," said a glaring Ami as she clutched to Satoru's neck.
Satoru laughed, carefully placing Ami on the couch, before taking his place on the floor. "Okasan, doesn't like that, ne?"
Ami's glare instantly faded away into a smile, hand reaching for Satoru's curls.
Makoto giggled at Satoru's antics and Ami's instant acceptance. A picture-perfect family, she thought and she silently slipped away, tiptoeing to the room Ami and Satoru let her stay in. She rummaged through her belongings before producing her camera and returning to the living room. Satoru and Ami hadn't noticed her departure and, for once, Makoto was glad.
Bringing the camera up to eye level, she snapped a picture of the adorable, daily event. She sat back down on the armchair she was occupying earlier and watched the couple for a few minutes.
I need to tell them, she thought.
Makoto breathed in and out to steady her heart rapidly beating within her chest, and for courage to begin a much-needed conversation. "Ami-chan?"
Ami blinked. A brief flash of guilt passed over Ami's face, before settling back to her former smile and she turned her attention to Makoto, waiting for her to continue.
"I think it's time for me to move." Makoto said as she pressed the palm of her hands into her thighs, anxiety rising once more.
Ami frowned. "Are you sure?"
Satoru had already given Makoto his attention. SHe wasn't surprised when he added in his own thoughts.
"Makoto-chan, you know you are always welcome here. I hope we haven't made you uncomfortable." he said.
Makoto's anxiety flowed away and she smiled brightly at them. "Thank you," she said. "Both of you have given me so much. A place to stay when I needed." She paused, before continuing, "And Ami-chan, thank you so much…" she said, eyes filling with tears, and voice cracking, "…so very much for what you did for me and helping me realize how much more I deserve. And for loving me enough to give me what I needed."
"I'm sorry. I don't cry much but…I don't know why I am now." she said as she wiped the tears away from her eyes.
Feeling a weight on her shoulder she looked up to see Satoru and Ami standing before her. Satoru kept his hand on her shoulder as Ami got down on her knees in front of Makoto causing her to begin protesting. Ami clasped Makoto's hands within her own, ceasing all protests.
"You will always belong in our family. We love you Makoto."
Makoto laughed, still crying, helped Ami back to her feet before pulling Ami and Satoru into the kind of hug her father used to give her.
"Thank you. Thank you for including me in your family. I love you both."
It was another month at Ami and Satoru's house before Makoto found a wonderful apartment suited to herself. She wouldn't have to change jobs and the rent allowed her to drop her second job (which she had only gotten to support her ex-boyfriend's useless self).
It was move-in day. Ami was ordered, by Makoto and Satoru, to stay at home. Despite being five months pregnant, she was already on maternal leave. It was best to keep Ami out of the surgical room in order to reduce stress. Makoto and Satoru both agreed, despite Ami's protests, that she did not need to do any lifting. Disgruntled, Ami had promised not to do any lifting as long as she could come along.
"Ami-chan!" Makoto yelled.
Ami froze, face turning bright red as she withdrew her hands from the stack of plates she was placing in the top cabinet.
Satoru trudged in seconds later, heaving, with the last of three boxes stacked high in his arms. "Makoto, you were right. Three boxes are too many." he said as he carefully placed the boxes onto the ground. "I'm wiped out trying to keep up with you." he added as he used part of his t-shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead.
"Satoru, I told you to use a towel," Ami said frowning, blush already fading away.
"I don't think you should be talking about what Satoru-chan should be doing when you didn't listen to the directions we gave you." Makoto admonished, wagging her finger in Ami's direction.
Ami blushed again.
"Was she stacking boxes again?" Satoru asked as he walked over to Ami. "Okasan doesn't listen very well, ne?" he added on as he rubbed her belly.
"I wasn't stacking boxes," Ami said as she pushed Satoru away and crossed her arms.
"No, she was only putting stacks of plates away."
"I promised not to do any heavy lifting," she reasoned. "I'm perfectly able and willing to help unpack."
"If you had your way you'd be able and willing, definitely willing, to be in surgery right now," Satoru teased.
Makoto laughed as Ami retorted back at Satoru how she was perfectly able to be in surgery, but the hospital was too worried about how an upset husband would be putting children's lives in danger if she was still working. Satoru continued to tease her as Ami butted heads with him.
"Alright children, enough bickering." Makoto said. "I'll finish unpacking on my own."
Ami said, "But Makoto-chan, we can—"
"No buts! Go home and spend some well-deserved alone time together."
"Does it count as alone time since Ami is pregnant? You know, we can tell our kid in the future what kind of alone time we had after Mako-oba-chan left us.
"Satoru!" Ami yelped. "Don't you dare do that to our child."
Makoto responded, "I think that means you're having sex tonight Satoru."
Ami faltered in her words. "Makoto, not you too!"
Satoru and Makoto laughed at Ami as tried to come up with a response and failed.
Makoto walked them down to their car. They exchanged hugs with on another. Makoto promised Ami she would call if she needed help unpacking, causing Satoru to yell from the car that they'd be too busy having sex for her to come help. Ami sighed as passers-bys gave her odd stares before getting into the car. With a final wave at Satoru and Ami, Makoto watched their car disappear from view as they turned at the corner of the block.
Time to unpack.
Three hours later Makoto had unpacked all her belongings and was lying on the floor. Take-out was ordered and on its way.
I'll have to buy furniture tomorrow, she thought. She had sold her furniture when she had moved in with her ex-boyfriend. She had already purchased a bed that was delivered earlier in the day. She needed to dip into her savings for new furniture: a couch and dining table with some chairs. Maybe I should have kept that second job.
She could feel her anxiety building up as her muscles tensed. She could hear her heart beat frantically in her quiet apartment. She sighed, before clearing her mind and letting her mind free of troublesome thoughts. Her body relaxed. She continued deep breathing.
"Everything's going to be fine. You're off to a new start", she told herself, smiling.
She stretched before going to the kitchen. Grabbing her kettle, she poured water in before placing it on the stove and turning on the gas. Just as she did so, her bell rang. Food. I'm starving! She paid the delivery man and grabbed a plate for her food. When the kettle whistled, she prepared her tea and was ready to eat.
"Itadakimasu."
Hello readers! I'm back after many years. I'm in my final year of college. My writing skills are so much better than they were before. I have the semester off and my professor told me this would be the best time for me to write a little each day. Although I don't think he meant fanfiction writing! In any case, I'm rusty on fanfiction writing. I'm better at creating original stories and while this is one, it's not totally original in that the characters are largely already formed. Unless I did one of those stories with the characters are completely different from the original. I'm trying not to do that because in a month I'll be busy and I would like to actually finish a story that isn't a one-shot.
Read and review!
-ff9moonie
