Do You Mean It?
A/N: This is my first Captain Swan story, written back in February. I just now decided to upload it here. Enjoy and please tell me what you think!
Killian lay in bed beside Emma, absentmindedly rubbing his hand up and down her arm. When she snuggled closer to him in her sleep, he sighed. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate having Emma Swan —his Swan—in his bed. Every night since Baelfire's death, she'd shown up at the door of the room he was renting at Granny's. Every night, she climbed into bed beside him and slept in his arms.
It was killing him.
They never spoke of it during the daylight hours and she was always gone by the time he woke in the morning. After the first night, she'd never cried again. She simply showed up with an openness about her that he couldn't refuse. She was letting her walls down, letting him see her weakness. He never questioned her when she showed up at his door, only held her in his arms as she slept peacefully.
He knew that she was devastated by Baelfire's death, as they all were. Bae, or Neal as Emma called him, had sacrificed himself to save Henry from the Wicked Witch— a true hero's death. And now, Killian feared, Emma would never get over the father of her son.
Killian threaded his fingers through Emma's hair, marveling at how soft it was. Even if this is all I ever have of her,he mused. Even if she only comes here because she's distraught and doesn't want her son to see. Even if she just considers me her friend, I'll be content.
Suddenly, Emma stirred in her sleep. She opened her eyes slowly and looked up at him. "Why are you awake, Killian?" she mumbled almost incoherently. His heart jumped in his chest. It wasn't the first time she'd called him Killian, but hearing his real name fall from her lips never failed to stun him.
"Shh, love, go back to sleep," he whispered to her. She sat up and stared at him, trying to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes.
"Killian, what's wrong?" she asked him, looking him over as if to check for injuries. He chuckled at her, but his mirth didn't reach his eyes.
"Darling, everything's fine."
"No, Killian. It's not fine. This open book thing goes both ways."
"Emma, please just drop it."
"No, I won't. Tell me what's wrong!" Emma demanded, her voice near yelling. Killian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Fine, Emma. If you must know, I'm upset. Baelfire is dead and I know that you'll never recover from that. I know that. And I'm happy to comfort you, I just wish it was under different circumstances."
Emma's brow furrowed. "You think I'm only here because I'm upset about Neal?"
"Of course, love. You're upset about Neal and you don't want your boy to see," Killian said. He wasn't sure if he was telling Emma or himself.
Emma looked at him pensively for a minute, before plunging in. "I am upset about Neal and that is part of the reason I'm here. But I'm also here because when I was falling apart that first night, when I was worried about who might go next…I realized that I didn't want to risk never spending a night in your arms. It was you that I wanted to comfort me and hold me. And I know that it's not exactly fair because nothing is certain right now and we all might die tomorrow, but I just need to be near you because you keep the nightmares away."
Emma looked exhausted, as though her confession had taken all of the energy that she had left. Killian simply stared at her blankly for a moment, before a grin took over his face.
"Really, love, do you mean it?"
Emma smiled sleepily at Killian. "Of course I—"
He kissed her before she could finish her sentence.
