A Better Choice
A/N: This story based on one of my favorite songs.It is the song that I would have sung to the object of my own unrequited love if I'd ever had the nerve to do so.But alas, I did not, and so I'll just have to live out that fantasy through Kurt and Blaine.This is set in the middle of ep 2.12, Silly Love Songs, right after the fateful "Gap Attack."Enjoy… (If it seems familiar, you're not crazy - previously deleted and now reposting for, well,reasons.)
The ride back to Dalton had been a quiet one. Thankfully, the Warblers had traveled to the mall in various vehicles, not together, so Blaine only had to be in the presence of Kurt, who had driven him there.
Blaine had never been so hurt and humiliated in his life. Not only had he been rejected by Jeremiah, he had, entirely through his own doing, been rejected in front of all of his friends and a smattering of random strangers. Now, instead of just heartbreak, he had to suffer embarrassment, too. Damn Valentine's Day.
Kurt had been wonderful so far. He had said little, but Blaine knew there wasn't much to be said and he appreciated that Kurt didn't try to patronize him with clichés and platitudes like, "If he can't appreciate you, he doesn't deserve you," "there are plenty of other guys out there," or other crap like that. (Well, Blaine would have thought it was crap in his current state, anyway.) No, Kurt had been quietly supportive, taking Blaine by the arm after Jeremiah had walked away and leading him back to the car. He'd chosen the long way back to give Blaine some time to himself before facing any of the other guys, and had swiftly turned off the radio when a love song came on, riding in companionable silence the rest of the trip. For his part, Blaine spent most of the time looking out the passenger window as Kurt drove along, not noticing Kurt's surreptitious glances his way every few moments.
Once they pulled into the Dalton parking lot and Kurt had stopped the car, Blaine let out a long breath and finally turned to look at Kurt, who was smiling kindly at him. "Thank you," Blaine said quietly. Kurt smiled a little wider and reached over to pat his shoulder.
"Come on, time to get back," he said, getting out of the car and walking around to the passenger side to collect Blaine.
Instead of walking towards the dorms, Blaine headed in the direction of the school. Kurt followed, partly out of curiosity and partly out of concern for his friend. He'd never seen Blaine so dejected before, and he wasn't quite sure how to handle it, but he figured if Blaine wanted to be alone, he'd ask. Until then, the best Kurt could do was to be there, even though his own heart was still smarting from Blaine's announcement that he was "in love" with an assistant manager at The Gap and wanted to serenade him. That had hurt, surely, but Kurt had resolved to set aside his feelings and not lose Blaine's friendship if that was all Blaine was able to give.
Blaine's footsteps led them, predictably, to the Warbler's practice room where he looked around for a moment before flopping down on one of the couches with a sigh. He let his head drop back on the couch and he stared at the ceiling. Kurt soon followed and sat gingerly beside him. Kurt cleared his throat and asked tentatively, "Wanna talk about it?"
Blaine continued to stare at the ceiling but answered Kurt with an almost imperceptible shake of his head. Before Kurt could think of anything else to say, Blaine blurted out, "What song would you sing?"
"What?" Kurt responded, confused by the question that seemingly came from nowhere.
Blaine rolled his head to the side to catch Kurt's eye. "If you wanted to sing a song to someone to let him know how you felt about him, what song would you sing?"
Kurt could feel his face flush, and hoped that Blaine would just put it down to his general shyness around relationships, and not to his particular discomfort at sitting so close to the object of his affections and being asked what song he would use to declare his love to him. Ugh.
Kurt shifted uncomfortably on the couch, sliding just a couple of inches away from Blaine to put a little more space between them. "Um, I don't think song choice was your problem," he murmured, trying to buy himself time.
"I know," Blaine sighed, sitting up a bit and turning on the couch to face Kurt more fully, much to Kurt's chagrin. "I just…I don't know. Maybe 'When I Get You Alone' wasn't my best choice."
Kurt stifled a laugh at that, but Blaine caught it, along with Kurt's facial expression which basically said, "Well, duh." Blaine managed a small smile and a chuckle, and Kurt let a small giggle slip out.
"But seriously," he persisted, "if you had to, what song would you sing?"
Kurt took and released a deep breath. It wasn't like he had to think too hard about it. He knew what his answer was. He'd been thinking about it for weeks – what he'd say, what he'd sing…how Blaine would react. His choice certainly wasn't in the same genre as Blaine's song and didn't express the same idea at all. Where Blaine had gone for a pretty strong come on, Kurt's selection was more emotional, really exposing his innermost feelings.
Yeah – terrifying.
All of this flitted across Kurt's mind in a blink as Blaine waited for an answer. Not being able to come up with an excuse to avoid the question further, Kurt reached into his pocket and took out his phone. With a couple of quick swipes, he located a karaoke version of the song (which may or may not have been easy to find in his browser history since he may or may not have played it repeatedly and sung along while alone in his room). Placing the phone on the table in front of him, he rose as the music began to play. He absolutely could not sit next to Blaine while he sang this.
Blaine looked up in surprise – he wasn't expecting a performance, just a song title, but he would never turn down the opportunity to hear Kurt sing. He smiled as soon as he recognized the introduction. "Perfect," he said warmly.
Kurt turned as he reached the desk where the Warbler Council usually presided. Leaning slightly on the edge of the desk, he found the strength to look directly at Blaine as he began to sing.
You give your hand to me
And then you say "Hello,"
And I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
Well, you don't know me
No, you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
Longs to hold you tight
Oh, I am just a friend
That's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me
Blaine's breath caught in his throat as he took in the lyrics Kurt was singing. They were so pure, so heartfelt – and so heartbreaking. Blaine realized he'd never really been in love with Jeremiah at all. He'd only had a silly crush. Even now, having been rejected, he realized that he wasn't so much upset about not being with Jeremiah as he was about the fact that he'd been embarrassed in front of his friends. That couldn't have been love. But this…what Kurt was singing about…that was a completely different story.
Blaine's eyes followed Kurt even though Kurt had looked away when he pushed off of the desk and crossed the room towards the window.
For I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart ached with love for you
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
A chance that you might love me too
Kurt turned his back to the window and started back across the room towards where Blaine was seated, finally sitting on the arm of the couch farthest from Blaine.
You give your hand to me
And then you say "Goodbye,"
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
Oh, you will never know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me
You'll never know
The one who loves you so
Well, you don't know me
The notes playing through Kurt's phone came to a close and Kurt leaned over to click it off. He slid down from the arm to the seat of the couch and glanced up to find Blaine looking at him with a soft expression of awe. Blaine reached over and took Kurt's hand in his own. "Kurt…" he whispered.
Blaine held Kurt's hand for a moment, suddenly overcome with the urge to take Kurt in his arms and kiss him senseless. He shook it off quickly, however. Just a couple of hours ago, he had demonstrated how absolutely useless he was at romance and relationships. Perhaps what he was feeling was no more than a rebound reaction to having been unceremoniously dumped, and Kurt deserved better than that. No, Blaine couldn't chance hurting the boy in front of him, and he wouldn't do anything to risk their friendship.
Releasing his hand, Blaine forced a bright smile. "Well," he began, his voice still quiet but a little stronger, "the next time I need to serenade someone, I know whose opinion to rely upon for song selection."
A flicker of disappointment crossed Kurt's face before he schooled his features. He nodded and smiled, saying, "Why thank you, kind sir," in a lighthearted manner that he hoped masked the fact that he just wanted to cry. "Anyway," he said with a sigh, rising from the couch, "I'm kind of tired, and I'm guessing you want a little time to yourself, so I'm going to head back to my room. See you tomorrow for coffee?" he asked.
"Sure," Blaine replied, standing up and following Kurt to the door. "Thanks again for, you know," he added, looking a little sheepish.
"What are friends for?" Kurt answered, giving Blaine one last smile as they exited the room.
xoxoxo
Just as they walked out one door, the other door at the far end of the room opened. Wes and David walked through quickly, hoping to avoid crossing paths in the hallway with the boys who had just left. Clearly, they'd been eavesdropping.
"I swear," Wes said, shaking his head, "if Anderson doesn't wise up and ask that poor boy out soon, I'm going ask him myself."
"Um, Wes? You're straight," David commented.
"Yeah, well…" he trailed off. "I just don't get why those two can't get together!" he cried, as David patted him on the back and nodded in agreement.
A/N: There you go.I added that little tag at the end with Wes and David, figuring that they represented those of us at home who were watching the episode back in the day and just wanted the two of them to get together already!I thought this might be a nice little filler between the Gap Attack and the conversation in the coffee shop where Kurt confesses that he thought Blaine would ask him out and Blaine talks about how he's bad at relationships.It seemed like it was something Blaine had thought about, not just an off-the-cuff reply.In any event, I hope you liked it (maybe enough to drop me a review?).If you don't know the song, look it up online.It's a lovely standard, and a number of great covers have been done (I'm partial to the Norah Jones and Michael Bublé versions, myself.)Until next time, lovely readers, be well.
