Nico Pov:

I watched as the freezing rain battered against the fogged up window of the cabin that I was supposed to call "home", perish the thought that I might actually belong somewhere. It normally didn't rain here at camp because of the barrier it was almost always sunny, (I hate the sun its just so obnoxious kind of like its god always getting in your face as if to say hey look at me don't I make you want to smile ugh,) thankfully to make the nymphs happy and to water the grass there is always a rain season at the camp near the end of fall and beginning of winter. It's on off rain for about 3 weeks and cycles between the disgusting sun and the beautiful rain. Yes I find the rain beautiful it reminds me of life, how we live in these small little worlds that seem to be in a constant state of free fall until smash it explodes into a million pieces on the ground only to be sucked down into the dirt where it is forgotten and unless you saw it you'd never have known it had ever even had existed.

I looked down at my scar covered wrist watching the crimson blood trickle out and pool up on my ivory coloured skin and just like the rain I sat there mesmerised by it as it pooled together and ran a small little line to the edge of my wrist where it dribbled over forming small little globs that fell like the rain until it makes that light splash/splat noise against the cool white tiled floor. It started to make a rhythm of splish, splash splotch, splish, splash. splosh and so on and so forth.

I know I'm weak for cutting but I can't help it the pain inside is just too much I need to cut so that I know I can atleast control some pain in my life unlike the horrible ache in my dark bitter heart. Some would ask what is the cause of this great pain (actually who am I kidding nobody at this godforsaken place likes me or would/could ever care about me and no one ever will not here at CHB, nor at CJ not even my own father likes me he sees me as an experiment gone wrong or a pain in the ass) but still it's quite simple the cause of my sorrow and pain is for the most part one beautiful, dull, hot, idiotic, kind, blind, perfect boy known by many names from the saviour of olympus to a nickname of seaweed brain but I just call him Percy, Percy Jackson. How could he be the cause of my hurt, well for a reason I don't know why I was cursed to be head over heels madly in love with this boy. Now that might seem really stupid you're probably thinking wait… you cut because you're in love with a guy? well not exactly I cut because I'm infatuated with a guy (wich from when i come from is completely wrong on its own) who will never love me because he's straight and in love with that blonde Athenian child Annabeth Chase, and he doesn't even like me he only sees me as a nuisance or a freak like everyone else, I mean why would anyone want to be around a freak like me I get it child of hades freak kid I understand why nobody likes me or wants me around, but that doesn't make it hurt any less, as well as all of that theres all the crap about my family like my sisters death, dads Hades, Persephone, etc… but I have grown to understand and expect the looks of hatred and disgust even the beatings from some of the other campers (don't get me wrong I could kill each and everyone of them but the way I see it is I'm just trash and I deserve it, at least the beating make me feel something).

There is only one other person who knows about my love for Percy and thats Jason, I made him swear on the river styx to never breath a word after the war ended and he hasn't thank the gods, I know if it got out Percy would hate me even more and laugh at me he may even join the others in beating me up and that, that would be the final push on the knife life drove into my heart. What's not a good thing though is that Jason has been trying to get a hold of me asking about whether or not i've told percy (of course he doesn't know that nobody has seen me outside of my cabin in weeks and that i don't plan on ever coming out) but i can't dodge him forever because the two camps are having a get together to send people out on quests to track down Gaea's remaining forces that are still kicking around. suffices to say I'm not looking forward to it. I sigh loudly I guess thats enough blood for today who knows maybe next time I'll cut too deep by accident and end this whole nightmare because I don't know how much longer I can go on when hes out there completely oblivious to the pain he has caused me but I'm glad he doesn't know about the pain too he'd probably just mock me for it about how weak I am and if he knew the reason well that perfect blind boy would join them I know he will why wouldn't he I mean who'd want to be around a fag like me, thats why he can never know. Because even know after all the pain he's caused me i still remember when he'd wipe my eyes when i cried back when I was smaller it's a bittersweet memory because I want him to stay but I wish he'd also just go taking those memories with him because even though some know him as the saviour of olympus or seaweed brain or just Percy to me in my heart he remains my Immortal.