Isobel sighed as she tried to choke back tears at the grave of her son. If somebody had told her she would find herself in this position all those years ago, she would have slapped them. Here she was, an intrinsic member of a priviliged clan she had spent all her life critisizing - she'd be afraid if she had to confront her younger self. She was now lady Merton. She let out a bitter chuckle at the thought 'fat lot of good came out of that.'

The adrenaline from Dickie's quick transfer and her hasty marriage soon wore off. She remembered actually having to help the man putting the ring on her finger at the Crawley House's spare bedroom - what a bad omen that was. Her marriage was not even consumated and at the end of it all, she still ended up alone in her bedroom at night. She never cared about it until now when she was being faced with the consequences of her own actions at the most ungodly hours.

Even her and Violet's gloating over Amelia's failure had come to a quick end. It was soon apparent that the little snitch had the last laugh after all. As soon as news got out of her rather shady marriage, Lord Merton's sons had severed all contact with their father. Larry took his place as master of the Merton estate while Dickie stayed with her in Yorkshire - there was no way she was going to leave George. She wept, telling her husband that this was all because of her and he tried to console her, telling her that it was not true and that she had brought him back to life but it was obvious that he was just saying that to placate her. He tried to make things better by taking her to London to meet his friends and spouses, hoping to show her that not all were hostile to their union - only to backfire as she met nothing but disdain for having married above her station so late in her life or sheer flippancy about her presence at all.

The first real blow came when they came back from London. Dickie always read the news paper first thing in the morning at breakfast, she had seen his usual cheerful expression change and asked what the matter was. With a quick smile, he told her that it was nothing. In truth, he'd just discovered that Amelia had given birth to his grandbaby from a newspaper announcement. Violet had told her in passing that she would be lucky to receive a christmas card from them - truer words were never spoken. They had never even been given note of the pregnancy let alone an invitation to visit the future Merton heir, he might as well be dead to them Dickie had said with cruel irony. They had invited them to the wedding in the name of formality only for Isobel to overhear a conversation between the young brothers, expressing disappointment shame and indignation at the fact that she even dared hope to fill their mother's shoes as they took it out on their cigars and port. She could not very well have gone to her husband to tattle on the boys and talk about it.

The second blow came a few months later when one of Cora's London acquaintances congratulated them after dinner on Tim's engagement. She saw her husband's face contort in sorrow before recovering quickly to thank them and excusing himself for the rest of the evening. Sure enough it was confirmed in the newspaper the next morning. They had always hoped that Tim would somehow come around but it was evidently not going to be the case. Seeing her friend so miserable had prompted Violet to write to the young man in whitehall only to receive a very polite note to basically mind her own business.

Her friendship with Violet was another thing. She had initially blamed her for setting the ball rolling when she introduced them and kept pushing her towards him when it was clear she did not really love him. She felt like a used pawn in the war against Amelia and drew the short straw as Violet kept going about life as usual while she ended up in a miserable marriage out of pity. But in the end she had to acknowledge that it was all down to her. She let herself get carried away and never put her foot down with Violet on this front. Violet's guilt showed in everyone of their chats but really they both knew she was trapped.

But the third blow was the most bitter one of all and truly spelled out the end of her world as she knew it. During the church service at Violet's funeral she averted her gaze from her husband who spent his time looking longingly at the Grantham's trying to keep little George and Sibbie in check as Travis droned on. She found herself gazing longingly at the fiery blonde doctor a few pews away. He was on his own and the space between him and the next person gave her a good view at his handsome features as she allowed herself to be lost in what could have been for the duration of the service. Funny that she should use it for such an unchristian purpose!

But once upon a time, the good doctor did not turn up on his own. He came in with doctor Alexandra Forbes. A pioneer in being one of the first women specializing in cardiothoracic surgery and everything she had once stood for. The heart doctor had used her skills and patched up Richard's heart before stealing it for herself. In a cruel twist of fate, she had come with the merger package she had so vigorously campaigned for and despite the age gap even she could see that they looked good together. Isobel wanted to hate her but she could not bring herself to do so -the young doctor was attractive with her chestnut brown hair, hazel eyes and full lips. She was intelligent and good at her job making people feel better unlike Isobel who was nothing more than a paper pusher now. What really twisted the knife though was the sight of a slight bump on the doctor's young wife's slim body. She was pregnant and Richard was going to be a father for the first time and the man who could have been her husband and lover was probably thanking his lucky stars for dodging the bullet and not ending up with a woman who could not give him half of what his young wife gave him.

She saw the sparkle in his eye when she congratulated him at the hospital on the birth of his son. She was nothing but dead inside.

"Oh my dear boy what have I done?" She whimpered as she covered her mouth with her handkerchief as she ran her fingers on her son's name etched on the headstone. 'The only consolation', she thought 'is that it won't be long before I'll see you again.'


AN: I know, not my usual style but I had to get it off my chest after the finale before continuing my other fic. I'd love to hear what you think!