Weather man said it's gonna snow
By now I should be used to the cold
John Watson turned on the radio just as he was sitting down to have his tea and toast. The radio blurted out it was going to be another white, wintry day with snow coming in for the rest of the week, making it cold and gray.
Perfect for how John felt about today and the last month.
John had lost his lover Sherlock to suicide just at the end of December, thanks to Jim Moriarty, who had shot himself on the roof before Sherlock jumped.
Mid-February shouldn't be so scary
It was only December
I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me
It was the end of the week and just like the weeks after Sherlock's death, John got ready to visit Sherlock's gravestone, located under a tree in the cemetery. As he got ready, he accidentally bumped a picture off the mantle where he was reaching for his scarf.
When he looked at it after he picked it up, his tears filled with tears at what it was. It was him and Sherlock on Christmas Day a few days before he took his life.
John sighed and closed his eyes to prevent his tears coming out. He still remembered that Christmas as clear as day. It was one of the only times Sherlock smiled in front of others.
They also had the most magnificent tree thanks to Sherlock's brother Mycroft, Sherlock and him spent hours setting it up and decorating it.
He was just admiring when, in front of everyone and the tree, Sherlock did the most unthinkable thing, he proposed.
But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you
Only almost a week of being Sherlock's fiancé, Sherlock was gone. Never to come back.
Living alone here in this place
I think of you, and I'm not afraid
John was in total robot mode nowadays. He still lived in the apartment at 221B Baker Street, but Mrs. Hudson was the one who cleaned the apartment and bought him food since he never left except to go see Sherlock's grave.
Sometimes, the sadness and the silence from the apartment almost drove John mad, but he remained sain.
Your favorite records make me feel better
Cause you sing along
With every song
Sometimes the silence would drive John to the point of seeing things from long ago.
For instance, before he left one day, he turned around to get his coat and thought he saw Sherlock on the other side of the room, listening to this old records and singing to himself, he used to always rib him about that and he would just blush and keep singing.
I know you didn't mean to give them to me
Now those records was just sitting on the shelf, collecting dust.
John listened to them from time to time when he felt lonely to the point where he had to distract himself to not think about anything.
But you went away
How dare you?
I miss you
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you
John finally got his hat and coat on and bought some fresh flowers from the marketplace, the vendor gave a smile, but he could never return it, not anymore.
As he walked to the cemetery, he thought of everyone around him saying that he'd been okay after a while, but he would never be alright, not at all.
It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone
He finally reached Sherlock's grave stone and laid the white roses he bought on the top. John reflected how sometimes it almost sunk in that Sherlock was dead when he saw the stone, but he never gave up hope that Sherlock was dead.
"Hello again Sherlock, i came to see you once more. I've been really bad lately, with keeping the apartment clean and buying food to survive. I - I - I just can't survive without you Sherlock."
"John... Turn around."
Cause you went away,
How dare you?
John turned around at that voice, there was only one person that voice could belong to.
He was standing there, black curls, blue-green eyes and a longing love of love in those eyes.
John quickly strangled him in a hug, holding him close and sobbing into his shirt. John vaguely felt Sherlock's arms wrap around him and hold him, he also felt tears on his neck, indicating Sherlock was crying too.
I miss you
"Why did you leave me Sherlock! Why! I didn't deserve that."
"I - I - I know John and i'm sorry, so very sorry. I was waiting for the rumors and press to die down so i could come back, i am sorry John. Truly i am. Do you still love me John, even after all this hurt i caused you?"
They say I'll be OK
But I'm not going to ever get over you
"I'd be in the ground by now if i didn't still love you. I can forgive you Sherlock, i always will."
"I love you John."
"Love you too Sherlock."
