Disclaimer: I don't own lilo and stitch.
Author's notes: written In Italics is thought not spoken. And words of an alien language are translated because I only know 4 words and 2 phrases.
Please review it, good or bad, it's the only way I'll learn.
Somewhere out past the wide horizon of Kauai, something bad happened to some stupid people, several weeks later a small dull grey boat was headed to earth via wormhole to the neighbouring system of sycrosia, although the crew didn't know. Its crew was board silly with absolutely nothing to do but sit, check equipment, sit, watch anomalies go past the window and sit. This wasn't made any better by the awkward silence.
Out of the six crew only two of them where at the bridge, if it could even be called that. It had three chairs in it, two set slightly further back than the one in the centre with a long curved consol within arms reach of all chairs. In the centre chair was a lady with long flowing ginger hair, her figure wasn't visible through the thick blood red armour with gold trimmings and decorative patterns spurned all over, she was about 6 foot tall. She currently had a green concave visa made of a polymer that resembled glass that covered her entire face. She was sat in the centre chair, just to her left, in another seat, was a 7 foot man in dark grey armour (1) much thinner than hers, with spikes down the arms and back. He had his feet up on the console, arms hanging by his side, head tilted right back over the headrest with his mouth wide open, snoring like a gargling sink.
After a while this got on her nerves, except a while was a few hours ago, now she was completely piss at him, she was seriously considering putting him in a air lock OR a escape pod and launching him into a star. Her head filled with pleasant images of him slowly being crushed and incinerated by the star, as he screamed like a little girl. She chuckled and a little smile appeared on her face, but all these pleasantries were forcefully removed by the increasingly aggravating living sink inhaling. That was the final straw, she couldn't even think anymore so she done the first thing that came to her. She punched him in the arm with a lot of force, plenty to knock him of his chair. When he hit the floor his armour made a sound of a black bag full of empty cans falling on the floor.
'' panics the guy, he looked around and blinked slowly I'm sure I was taller when I went to sleep 'ow, what was that for?' he starts rubbing his now num shoulder.
'You snore worse than a sink' she said in an irritated tone. The man sat up on the groaned.
'No I don't' 'yes you do' 'don't' 'do' 'don't' 'DO' 'don't' 'DO' 'don't' she brew a rather large hand gun out of thin air and points it at his head 'alright, so what if I do, what do you want me to do about it' he stood up, brushed himself off and took up his previous position on the chair, she still had the pistol pointed at his head. 'Could you, ya know, put that away' motioning towards the gun.
'Sorry' she said through gritted teeth, still very irritated. She put it away from where ever she got it from. 'Just I've never been with someone so ANNOYING' she clenched her teeth even harder 'your even annoying when you sleep, and it's your fault I'm even hear in the first place.'
'No it's not' she gave him her patented death glair, this had absolutely no effect what so ever for the obvious reason that he couldn't see through the visor, although he probably could guess.
'Yes it is' she moaned in frustration.
'How's it my fault you went on a drunken rampage' pleading innocence.
She was fladagasted that he had the nerve to say something like that 'YOU where trying to get me DRUNK.'
'Not trying, helping' he chuckled and smiled cockily. She gave him one of the worst death stairs she had ever give anyone, he could feel it through the visor and move slightly further away on his seat, as if 2 inches would make a difference if she went for his throat. 'Besides it was that bloc at the bar who set you off.' I knew I should of plead insanity from the start.
'Well' coming to reason 'it's still your fault I was drunk in the first place' she was in a huff, which was an improvement and had her arms crossed across her chest. He leaned over and put an arm around her neck.
'I'm sorry you where a raving drunk lunatic' he said in an apologetic tone. She slowly turned her head away from the view screen and glared at him, it wasn't a death glare, it was well past that, he slowly retracted his arm and slid to the end of his set, teetering on the edge, looking solemnly forward, putting his feet on the ground (for once) and twiddling his fingers. He hazarded a glance at his "friend" and immediately wished he hadn't. Her face was still covered by the visor, but if the low growl and clench fists where any thing to go on she was going to kill him and touchier his soul for all eternity.
She kept starring at him for until they exited the wormhole, it seemed like hours had passed. A Bluey greenish gas giant appeared on the view screen. She seamed to relax and slouched back in her seat. 'We're hear, your landing' she reached up to remove the visor when
'No I'm not, they tuck away my licence, remember' she groaned in frustration How can this day get any worse? She sounded cynical even in her own head.
'Where are we going to land' she moaned
'Well, by my calculations if we go about' he scratches his chin '45 thousand light years that way' he pointed roughly to the floor 'and ask me the same question I could give you a serious answer' he said picking up at the end.
'What are you going on about?' a mixture of frustration and confusion in her voice
'That's not Earth.'
'Your just pulling my leg, that's Earth' more frustration than confusion.
'No' he leaned over the console and pushed a few buttons, a small picture of earth appeared on the view screen 'that's Earth' he pointed towards the picture.
She was losing it, her head twitching from the little picture to the big picture. She was trying to talk but only the first syllables came out and that was totally incoherent and clenching and unclenching he fists.
'You ok' he asked fearing for his health
Eventually, and without warning she stood strait up and pulled the visor of her face and smashed it off the console shattering it into hundreds of pieces the wires slid off and onto the floor. She raised her arm to bring it smashing down on anything she could smash. Knowing this the guy fled the bridge into the corridors the automatic doors slid closed behind him with a quiet wush sound, cutting some of the noise from the destruction of the boat. He leaned against the wall and sighed, the smashing muffled by the wall. It's gonna cost a fortune in repairs.
Hope you enjoyed, please review.
(1)No matter how I try to describe the armour everyone either gets really confused or says something like "oh, like master chiefs" so ill just let you make up your own mind
Some people speculate how insignificant Earth is in the overall picture. A very small part of the bigger picture is sent to guard a tiny hawian girl and a mob of miniscule brightly coloured monsters. (this description has little to do with the story)
