Based on this prompt: "Five times Artie proposed to Tina and she said no and the one time she said yes."


The first time Artie proposed to Tina, he was desperate to make up with her, and he had figured that all girls like marriage so it should probably work on her, right?

"I would get down on one knee if I could."

"Why would you propose to me? You don't even like me."

Tina had been on such an emotional roller coaster that week, and she really didn't think that she could handle anything more. It was a mix between relief that Artie had finally forgave her, disgust and hurt at his sexist comments, a sense of belonging when bonding with the other Glee girls, and a growing confidence as she embraced her feminist side. Now here was Artie, with that heartbreaking expression on his face, proposing marriage? Amid all the other emotions she was feeling, a tiny flutter flared up, which she tried to squash. He was just trying to get on her good side again so she wouldn't embarrass him in the hallways. Just then she felt his hand cover hers, and she tried to ignore the feeling it gave her.

"That's where you're wrong. I was really rude to you. You're awesome. And you shouldn't change unless you want to. And if you want to get up on this…just let me know," he replied, an earnest look on his face. Tina considered this for a moment. If nothing, Artie was honest – painfully so at times – so she knew he was telling the truth. And if she was going to be truthful, she kind of wanted to 'get up on that.'

"Yup. That's more like it," she finally replied as she smiled and leaned in for a kiss. She'd have to talk to him about his tendencies to blurt out awkward statements later. Marriage was a bit extreme to use as an apology.

The second time Artie proposed to Tina, he had been slightly kidding, and he was glad she realized that. (He really needed to work on the word vomit thing.)

"Come on, let me try one already!" he coaxed his girlfriend, trying to reach onto the pan she was currently holding.

"Just hold on a second Artie, or you're going to burn yourself," Tina retorted lifting the metal pan above his head. She set it down on the stove, and using a spatula, scraped a warm chocolate chip cookie off. She carefully handed it over to him, and he immediately took a large bite.

"Mmmhhhh," came the muffled reply. "These are great cookies Tee. Oh my God these are delicious!" Quickly swallowing the first cookie, he eagerly reached for a second one. "All this chocolate is just so – mmmmmhhhh." The rest of his sentence was obscured when he shoved the whole cookie into his mouth. Tina had to laugh at the look on his face, and felt a faint stirring of pride. Artie was a picky eater, and so the fact that he liked her cookies meant a lot. Either that or he was just bluffing for her sake. If that was the case, he was a great bluffer because he was already reaching for a third cookie.

"Marry me please Tina, so you can make these for me every day," Artie said dreamily, not really registering what was coming out of his mouth. Tina paused and looked back at him surprised. He met her glance, and she had to burst out laughing. He had somehow managed to get chocolate on his glasses and he looked quite ridiculous.

"I don't think I could marry such a messy eater," she teased tossing him a napkin.

"I was just kidding you know," he replied bashfully, taking his glasses off to clean them more efficiently. "They're not that good." Tina gasped in mock outrage, and stuck her tongue out at him. He retorted by sweeping some flour off the counter and flicking it at her. The proposal was soon forgotten as the two engaged in what they would later refer to as an epic food fight.

The third time Artie proposed to Tina he was quite serious about it, although he hadn't really thought it through.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"Mmhmm me too."

"Do you have to go?"

"Yeah I kind of need college to get a job. So do you."

"Work at McDonald's then."

"I don't think so. I don't like burgers."

"What's wrong with you woman?"

"They're just gross."

"I don't want to leave you."

"Do you think I want to leave you?"

"…Marry me?"

"You're kidding right?"

"No."

"Artie….we can't just get married."

"Why not? People do it all the time."

"We're leaving for college in two days. It's just crazy."

"But I love you and I don't want to break up."

"We're not going to break up. We're just going to be far away from one another. Marriage is not the solution."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am. Maybe in a few years but not right before college. Now shut up and kiss me. We only have a little time left with each other."

"Yes ma'am."

The fourth time Artie proposed to Tina, it was out of necessity more than anything else. And it was only official online.

"She doesn't seem to get the hint that I have a girlfriend. Just because you live halfway across the country doesn't mean I love you any less," Artie complained into his phone.

"She does sound a little desperate," Tina mused on the other line. "Have you tried being mean to her? That might scare her off."

"I'm not going to be a jerk to the girl," Artie replied. "She hasn't actually done anything. She just keeps…..hinting that she likes me."

Tina sighed deeply. When Artie had called to tell her that some girl in one of his classes was flirting with him, she automatically thought he was overreacting. Once she had heard all the details….well she wanted to hop on a plane and head out to New York to set this girl straight. The nerve of her, flirting with someone who was taken. There were plenty of available guys at that college. Why couldn't she pursue one of them? But she was probably just over exaggerating. The fact that Artie had called her to discuss this problem meant that he had absolutely no interest in this girl at all, and wanted to get rid of her.

"Wait a minute!" Artie shouted, startling her out of her thoughts. "I have an idea! This will definitely drive her off. And if it doesn't…..well then I might consider a restraining order."

"What are you talking about?" Tina asked, completely flabbergasted.

"Go on Facebook real quick," was his cryptic reply. She could hear him typing furiously in the background. Rolling her eyes, she opened her laptop and brought up the website. The little red button at the top of the screen alerted her to a new notification. Clicking on it, she read in slight disbelief:

"Artie Abrams: Relationship Request. Confirm. Ignore."

"Seriously, Artie? That's your plan?" Tina asked the screen in a mix of slight disbelief and amusement. With a quiet laugh to herself, she clicked the 'confirm' button.

Artie called her the next day, the glee in his voice barely contained, to let her know that Kate (the aforementioned flirting girl) had avoided him all day.

"I knew it would work! Thanks for playing along," he laughed triumphantly.

"Sure no problem 'hubby'," Tina replied sarcastically. "So when's the honeymoon?"

"Not sure yet," he said. Then his tone took on a teasing tone. "Hey woman, go make me a sandwich." He laughed at his joke. Then he realized Tina wasn't laughing with him. "Tee?" He asked tentatively.

On the other line, Tina was shaking her head in disbelief. She knew he was kidding, but two could play this game.

"Artie? Consider yourself divorced," she smirked as she hung up. Before she hit 'end' she heard him crying,

"Wait Tina, it was a joke! Oh come on –"

The fifth time Artie proposed to Tina, he didn't quite remember doing it, so it was probably a good thing she said no.

Spring break of their senior year of college, Artie, Tina, Kurt, and Mercedes decided to go on a trip together. They booked a hotel in Las Vegas, and managed to drive down there in a day. They crashed at the hotel the first night, and didn't wake up till noon the next morning. Kurt and Mercedes decided to check out the casinos, while Artie and Tina decided to just cruise around town.

After seeing the sights, and almost getting molested by a group of grandmothers (long story there,) they headed back to their hotel. Tina went to the bathroom to change into more comfortable clothes, while Artie raided the mini fridge in the room.

"Hey Tee, there's like soda and beer and candy bars in this thing!"

"Yeah and they all cost like twelve dollars each, so don't take anything," Tina yelled back from the bathroom.

"Aw come on, it's spring break! Live a little!" Artie replied, zeroing in on a Snickers bar way in the back of the fridge. Tina emerged from the bathroom in sweatpants and an oversized Beatles t-shirt that belonged to Artie.

"Fine Artie, eat all you want, but you're paying for it," was her flippant reply as she flopped onto her bed and switched on the TV. Her attention was diverted however, when Artie held a bottle in her face.

"Vodka? Artie, you know I don't like to drink that much. Seriously, I'd much rather have that Snickers bar."

"Nope that's mine. And come on, haven't you ever wanted to just get drunk? We're in Las Vegas. It's practically a law. Plus we are old enough. Legally I mean." Artie was making his best puppy dog face at Tina, and finally she sighed and grabbed it from him.

"Let's get drunk."

"Yes!"

An hour later, they had drunk through most of the bottles in the refrigerator that contained alcohol, and were very drunk. Tina attempted to get up off the bed and make her way over to the TV. Halfway there, she tripped and fell to the floor. Both found this hysterically funny, and were practically crying from laughing so hard. Tina managed to pull herself over to Artie and landed awkwardly in his lap. He hiccupped and that set them both off again.

"Hey Tina?" Artie ventured once he had gotten a hold of himself.

"Yeah?" she inquired between giggles.

"Let's get married!" was his enthusiastic reply. He didn't notice her expression fall slightly. "There are like, tons of churches all over the place here. One of them will take us right?"

"Artie, I don't think we should get married," Tina replied, looking him dead in the eye.

"Why not?" he asked, his face falling.

"I have a secret," she whispered leaning in close to him. He scrunched up his face at this; some part of his drunken self remembered that he didn't really like Tina's secrets.

"What is it?" He asked reluctantly. Tina looked around as if to make sure no one was listening, then leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I'm….in love with Kurt!" She collapsed in giggles after revealing this.

"No fair!" Artie shouted. "I'm way cooler than Kurt! He dresses and smells like a girl!"

"Yeah but he's prettier than you," was Tina's reply. At that moment, the real Kurt and Mercedes walked through the door.

"Oh my god you guys, what did you do?" Mercedes demanded looking around the room, which was littered with empty bottles and candy wrappers.

"We're getting married!" Artie shouted, attempting to navigate his way to the door with Tina still sitting on his lap.

"Um, I don't think so," Kurt said blocking the door. "You two are going to bed – in separate beds – and going to sleep this off."

Both grumbled and complained but allowed themselves to be put to bed. Kurt practically dropped Artie trying to get him into the bed, which the two drunks found hilarious. The next morning Artie and Tina woke up with splitting headaches and no recollection of their wedding plans.

The one time that Artie proposed to Tina and she said yes was probably the best moment of his life.

A year after they had graduated from college, Artie and Tina had gotten an apartment together in a little town just outside of Lima. Artie was working at the local music shop, teaching kids how to play guitar, while Tina was teaching tap dancing at the community center. Their nights were spent cuddling, watching movies, and the occasional pillow fight. One night, after finishing up a movie they had rented from Blockbuster, Artie decided to take a risk.

He had been planning on proposing for quite some time, and with the help of Kurt, he had picked out a ring, and planned out how he was going to do it at a fancy restaurant. However, nestled together on the couch, the moment felt right, and he decided to just go for it.

"Hey Tina?" He inquired looking down at the dark head resting on his shoulder.

"Yeah?" she asked looking up at him. When she saw how serious his expression was, she shifted so she was sitting up and facing him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," he assured her and then launched into his speech. "I love you Tina. I care about you more than anyone else in the world, and I don't know what I would do without you. I know you feel the same way – at least I hope you do." At her encouraging yet puzzled smile he continued. "I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, so –" He stopped and pulled the box out of his pocket.

"Will you marry me?"

Tina stared at him in shock and disbelief. She went so long without making a noise that he started getting nervous. Then a smile slowly spread across her face and she flung her arms around him as she – finally – said,

"Yes."