This was my first finished story. Any other story I would write, I would get bored with it and start on a new one I had been thinking of! This story is hilarious! Let's just say there's some Edward and Winry abuse in this story! Well, read it! I hope everyone likes this one since House isn't getting many reviews. --'

Summary: A story about how giving a hometown hero one glass of beer can be a very big mistake…


Drunk as a Skunk

Chapter 1: That Fateful Day


"She's gonna kill me…"

"Yep, she's gonna kill you…not me…"

"Shut up, Al."

Ed and Al were sitting on a train heading for Risembool, examining Ed's automail and shaking their heads as they saw the damage. Ed cringed at the thought of Winry holding up her wrench and Al nearly cried imagining that demonic, crazed expression that haunted him for the most of his life. They just sat there, staring down at the automail with fear in their eyes.

"Brother, don't worry. I'll restrain her when she tries to kill you."

"Shut up."

"Stop panicking."

"Shut up."

"Maybe we should get you some food so that you can calm down."

"Shut up."

"Are you okay?"

"Shut up."

"…"

"Shut up…"

"…"

"I SAID SHUT UP, AL!"

Al stared at his brother in complete silence with his head hanging from the side. "I didn't say anything." Ed stared back with a mix of anger and guilt in his eyes and sighed, continuing to examine his automail (and whining about what Winry would do to him when she saw it.) So while Edward did this, Al just stared out the window and watched the land past the train.

When he gazed back north, he saw the town they had been heading for: Risembool. From this distance, it looked liked a manufacturer's miniature redesign of the village. And, by Al's reaction, if he were human he would have the widest grin over his face.

"BROTHER, WE'RE ALMOST THERE!"

"Don't remind me…" He glanced out the window once, frowned sourly, and looked back down at his automail, practically shivering at the reaction that Winry would give him when she saw it. "I hate my life," Ed said, as a humongous sweatdrop appeared on the back of his head, "I wish someone would kill me." Al laughed in reply. "Okay, let me call Scar."

"Shut up, you lug of junk."

A few minutes later, Ed found himself stepping off the train holding two suitcases while he looked around the train station, searching for any signs of a "mechanic freak with a wrench of doom" running around and looking out for her usual kill. Al was standing behind him, staring down at him with a blank expression. Finally, sighing with his head bowed, Edward sulked toward the exit of the train station doors.

"Stop doing that. You make it seem like she'll kill you this time." Al stared down at Ed as he walked out the doors. His older brother turned to look up at him and rolled his eyes.

"That's easy for you to say! She'll give me a lecture once she sees-"

Ed stopped and stared upward when he heard someone call his name, and his eyes widened so largely that you could have stuffed a teddy bear in them. Al, on the other hand, had ran and hid behind a tree because he thought someone had sent an angry mob to stab them with pitchforks. But, by the way they were holding up sign that said "WELCOME HOME, OUR HEROES" he relaxed (but still hid behind the bush).

"IT'S HIM! IT'S REALLY HIM!"

Ed's eyes twitched as he saw a group of girls, in bathing suits, come running toward him.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" They tackled him to the ground and started snuggling him.

"HE'S SO SOFT! Just like I dreamed he would be…"

"Oh Edward, wanna come to my house?"

"NO, HE'S MY EDWARD!"

Edward sweatdropped as the group of girls started arguing and punching each other, while a man appeared before him with a smirk on his face.

"Hey there, bean sprout!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHORT BEANSPROUT WHO IS THE SIZE OF AN ATOM!"

Everyone burst out laughing. Ed was so confused that he just sat there, his arms crossed while he pouted babyishly. "The boys were right, you do have a bad temper!"

"Why are you here anyway?"

The man smiled while the rest of the guys pointed to a shack that said "Village Bar House". "We come to invite you to a party! We wanted to make our hometown heroes welcomed!"

Al shook his head. "Uh, no thanks…"

Edward said the same, except in the rudest way possible. "Hell no!" Al sweatdropped at his comment and crouched down. "Why can't he just say something nicely?"

"AH COME ON, ED 'OL BOY! JUST COME AND HAVE SOME FUN!" The man walked over to Ed and patted him on the shoulder. "We just want you to forget about the hardships of being a dog of the military!" He stopped and looked over at Al.

"Al won't mind, will you?"

Al nodded and stood up. "Go, brother. I'll just go to Pinako's house and wait for you there…and take the blame for your broken automail…" He sweatdropped and picked him up, making him stand on his feet. "I don't mind one bit." Ed turned around with his eyes widened and held onto Al. "NO! They might do something stupid or something-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, all the men had started carrying Ed toward the bar and chanting the words of a beer song while Al stood there sweatdropping (for the fourth time that day). Finally, after staring for a few minutes in his brother's direction, he turned and started walking up the road.

He didn't know what peril he would be going through in a couple of hours…


FIRST CHAPTER! –checks chapter off list- DONE! Now, all I have to do is retype all six chapters, add a bonus chapter, and then let the sweatdropping continue! –maniac like laugh comes out her mouth- I hope you stick around for the next chapter. Meanwhile, I'll try to finish chapter of both DS and House. -.-'