Rabbits, Rabbits, Nutters!

AN: Randomness written after a dry patch in writing. I offered to write challenges from my friends, this one came from aramiheartilly, in which she requested a debate involving Hermione and Luna discussing the fact that rabbits are taking over the world. Yeah I've never written Luna before, so be nice! This is in no way meant to be serious, or have a point. Just some fun written for a friend that I though i'd share. I'm telling you, writing for a Creative Writing course can certainly drain you imagination!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not HP or the characters/spells, etc. They belong to JKR. I'm just writing for fun, I mean no harm.


Hermione sighed once more as she hunkered over the ancient text she was scanning. Her eyes lighting up instantly upon the discovery, finally, of something useful.

"Yes! Perfect!" Mumbling to herself, she procured her quill to jot down the useful quote.

'Aguamenti, in the past, has proved to be a useful spell in many near fatalistic events. Often casted to abate fire, it is amongst one of most common incantations used by Firelle's Fire & Caustic Spills Department.'

A slight stir in the air beside her in the usually deathlike quiet of Pince's domain caught her attention. 'A ghost,' she thought, 'I must not be distracted!' So on she continued, unaware of the female now sat opposite her, eyebrows raised at the furious speed at which the bushy haired witch was writing.

Bored as Luna was, she started to think. Think of things totally unrelated to the magical world, totally unrelated, infact, to anything at all. She relished the challenge, wondered how her classmate felt on a certain theory that had been consuming her daydreams over the past few days 'Suprise and confusion,' the unknown girl thought, 'are some of my more useful qualities. I shall be subtle, after all, this is serious business that I am about to embark upon!' Finally resolving with herself her plan of action, 'Subtlety!' she reminded herself, she nodded to herself before speaking.

"Rabbits!"

Luna was shocked by the reaction her statement garnered. All most at once, Hermione's parchment turned black as it soaked up the upturned inkwell, the girl's quill in some unknown spot back past the bookcase behind Luna. The startled cry she had made alerted Pince at once, and upon the library mistresses shout for quiet, Hermione blushed in embarrassment and looked angrily over at Miss Lovegood.

"What!?"

"Like I said before. Rabbits." Luna reiterated. And she thought the Gryffindor here was known for her intellect. Really! Was she deaf?

"I fail to see the reason as to why you came over and interrupted my O.W.L revision hour to mention a certain species of fluffy, domestic mammal."

"You mean you don't know?"

"And what is it, dare I ask, that I'm meant to know?" Hermione was starting to get impatient.

"They're planning world domination those rabbits, they are. Meglomaniacs, the lot of them! They're more doo-lally than You-Know-What's-His-Face!"

Hermione had no comeback. How could one respond to such a statement? Her curiosity, unfortunatley was piqued. 'I can't believe i'm about to voluntarily lauch myself into this conversation when I could be studying!' Her mind protested, however. It wanted to know how on earth Luna come to such a conclusion. So, after much procrastination, Hermione awkwardly posed her question.

"How so?"

"It's all in their eyes, you see? They stare right through you, they do. They know something we don't - they have that look of superiority. The main giveaway, though is their choice of dwelling. The way they burrow. No right minded creature would hide underground for comfort. They're spies! Transfigured or something. Animagi, even! Think of it! Right under Dumbledore's nose, too!"

"Right..." Hermione was not convinced.

"We need to stop them, hunt them down, make them talk." Luna spoke in such a conspirative voice, Hermione knew she meant it.

"That's cruel! They don't have the intellectual capacity to form such elaborate plans, no offence to the animals, but they don't. It's a fact. Don't you like rabbits?"

"Why of course I do!" Luna, offended, continued, "I have one at home, Fluffers is his name. He's my baby, so soft and cuddly!"

"Yet you think all rabbits are warmongering creatures of evil!"

"No I don't. That's such a silly thing to say. That's like saying every witch and wizard here are evil. You can't possibly class a collective as one entity. It's unjust!"

Hermione backed up slightly in her chair, a horrible feeling that the conversation had suddenly taken a surreal turn. How on earth had she ended up to look like the bad guy, it had been such an inane conversation to begin with! She was sure Luna cottoned on to much more than she let on. Who would have thought the daydreaming blonde would have such strong opinions, especially on the topic of rabbits? Really!

"Look, I love rabbits. Okay? I just don't ..."

On continued their debate for many hours thereafter. Was it right to condemn the rabbit pioneers of evil? Were they under the very foundations of Hogwarts this minute devising a madcap plan for entering and destroying all within? Should we give rabbits a chance?

And so this was how Ron found his girlfirend conversing heatedly with Luna in the library, Harry seconds behind, casting an extremly worried look at his best friend.

"What on earth?"

Ron turned to Harry, worry etched on his face as he spoke,

"Nutters, the both of them. Some twaddle about rabbits. Must be a girl thing!"

Both boys scrunched up their noses to that, prepared to leave, when,

"Ronald Weasley! I heard that! Get your behind here this instant, I need some help here, this girl just isn't seeing sense!"

"Bugger."

Harry tried to contain his laughter and failed miserably. Pince's warning did not cease his amusement as he wandered out into the corridor, immensely relieved he wasn't forced to join the strange conversation though he was sure he's hear it all later on.

Hogwarts. Good times.