This is a one shot song fic I wrote about Bella and Jacob's relationship in New Moon. It's based on the song Halo by Beyonce. I think it holds significant similarities with parts of new moon and how Bella felt about Jacob and how he helped her. It's my first songfic so please read and review; just tell me what you think please :)
Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I've got my angel now
"You know you've helped me so much..." I sighed into Jacobs chest, "Through all of..well, everything" I couldn't bring my self to talk about Edwards departure, even now that he was back and I knew he wasn't leaving again. There was still a small hole in my chest that could never be filled.
I hadn't thought that anyone could even help to ease the pain, but Jacob really had. He'd been there when I needed someone the most. I let him in and he didn't leave, he stayed. Warm, reliable, Jacob.
"I know" He held me at arm's length and smiled, "You were a right mess weren't you?"
"Tactful as ever" I laughed, but I knew I had been. I was a zombie, a shell of what I used to be. Edward had left me and I had become nothing. I hadn't felt like I was living, just existing.
"You know me" He winked, pulling me back into his arms and cradling me to his chest, "I'm just a saint"
"More than that" I shook my head in disapproval, "You're an angel" He was an angel, he was everything to me these past few months and there would always be a place for him in my battered and beaten heart.
"Jeez, Bells, way to go all corny" But I knew he was flattered, in his own way.
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breaking
It's the risk that I'm taking
I ain't ever gunna shut you out
"I can't believe some of the stupid things I made you do" I felt myself blush, "The motor cycles..."
"Hey, that was all in good fun!" He chuckled, "Besides, its fun to break the rules once in a while, let your hair down"
Trust Jacob to look on the better side of things, we both knew it was a stupid idea to let a klutz like me drive a motorbike, yet I'd charmed him into doing so. Making him go behind Billy and Charlie's backs just to let me have my thrills. I knew what I had done was wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to regret it. It had been fun, in a warped way.
I pulled away and sat down on the tree trunk. Jacob sat beside me and put his arm around my shoulders. I nestled into him and sighed. I'd never be able to let Jacob go, I couldn't. He was now as much a part of me and the roots to the tree we were sat upon.
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
"I guess you're right" I smiled, "You know... you're glowing"
"Are you kidding?" He laughed,
"No" I pulled away and squinted to look at him, in the light of the sunset he was definitely glowing, it was as if his warm blood was radiating off of him, "It's quite bright, like sun shine"
He laughed at me, "Must be one of those many things a werewolf can do"
"Maybe, or maybe it's just you, and you're bright personality that makes you glow" I felt stupid saying it, but the words fell out of my mouth before I could catch them,
"You're right" He agreed, "I'm a glowy kind of guy aren't I?" He stood up and put his hands on his hips, puffing his already rippling chest out and grinned,
Moments like this with Jacob were the ones I treasured the most. The ones where we could just mess about like old times, no complications of vampires or werewolves thrown into the mix. Just Jacob Black and Bella Swan, best friends.
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo ...
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
We sat on the tree branch lost in our own thoughts for a while. I was remembering how when Edward had.. had left.. I'd found hope in Jake. I'd been surrounded by a black cloud wherever I went, until I saw Jacobs smile and his arms out stretched ready to envelope me in a bony crushing hug. It was as if the black cloud melted away and the sun came out.
I was so addicted to the feeling Jake left me with I'd initially used him at first, to supply me with the necessary 'medication' to get me through the day. But over time I grew fond of not just the feeling he gave me, but also his company. I loved how he'd laugh at my clumsiness but never let me get hurt, how he would always be there for me, day or night. Most of all I loved how I didn't have to talk about what was hurting me, how he could pick up on little things without me having to tell him, like that I hated to listen to music. It was as if he could read my mind.
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again
I never fell in love with him though. I thought at one point that maybe I could return the feelings he had for me. Love him like he deserved to be loved. But I couldn't, after loving Edward everything else seemed so small and insignificant. I didn't feel I was capable of making Jacob happy and I couldn't bear to hurt him. Loving Jake was the hardest thing in the world, but also the easiest. There was no pain, no complications, it was easy and sweet. But I always knew Edward was the reason for my existences, without him I was nothing. I always remembered that.
Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breaking
It's the risk that I'm taking
I'm never gunna shut you out
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
"You're pretty smart, Bella" Jacob spoke softly, dragging me out of my thoughts,
"What makes you say that?" I asked,
"You managed to figure out about me and the whole.. pack thing, without me telling you" He looked away, across the ocean. Jacob didn't hate being a wolf, but he had hated not being able to tell me why he was acting all funny. Why he suddenly turned so angry. It had torn me up inside, recreating the hole that I had worked so hard to hold shut.
"No, I wasn't smart" I smiled, "You told me.. really.. I just had to remember"
"Yeah, but still, clever pants" He nudged me and laughed, catching me before I fell,
"Thanks" I brushed the dirt off my arm,
"No problem" He sighed, pushing a strand of hair away from my face and looking into my eyes.
I stared back into his, they swam with emotion. He was my savour, my everything. I giggled, inappropriately but he ignored it and pressed his red hot lips to my forehead.
"Beautiful" He whispered into the breeze,
I felt a little uncomfortable when Jacob did things like this, one moment it would feel like we were nothing but friends. Then he would treat me like I was his, like Edward treated me. I didn't return Jacobs feelings and he knew that, but he never stopped trying. I had to give him credit for that one, he was definitely persistent.
I stood up and pulled at his hand,
"Come on, we better get going"
"Why?" He frowned, he knew why...
"Edward will be waiting" I started to loosen my fingers from his so that I could go even if he wasn't coming, but he clenched his fingers tighter around mine and stood up,
"Come on then, better get you back to Eddie Weddie" He chuckled and the atmosphere was back to what I loved the most, a warm, loving, feeling of friendship.
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo...
Edward was waiting for me at the treaty line, leaning against his Volvo looking like Greek god. I felt my heart rate rapidly increase as he smiled at me and nodded once at Jacob.
They would never be the best of friends, I'd come to terms with that, but the shiver that shot up Jacobs spine made me inch away.
He let my hand go and pulled me to his chest. I knew he was now glowing in satisfaction that this would bother Edward so my hug was pretty feeble. He brushed his lips on my forehead as I pulled away.
"See you around, Bells" He smiled, not his heart Jacob smile, it looked forced,
"Yeah, see you soon" I replied and walked away towards Edward.
He gripped me in his arms, a little stronger than was necessary and I winced.
"Sorry, love" His voice was musical and it sent shockwaves through my body. Pressing his cool lips to mine I entwined my fingers with his and he opened the car door for me.
As we drove away, I couldn't help but turn around to look at Jacob sloping away into the trees, my angel, my savour. Glowing.
I was sure I could see his halo.
I didn't go quite as well as I planned, but please if you took the time to read it leave a review it really does mean a lot to me, thanks :)
