Disclaimer: All characters belong to J. K. Rowling. Lyrics belong to Goo Goo Dolls (the song is Acoustic #3).
Note: Personally, I hate writing first person. This was really difficult and felt awkward and several times I found myself slipping. It was written for a challenge. A challenge that said I had to write first person. Grr.
Becoming
A Severus Snape Story
By Ella
I hated them. With every fiber of my being, I hated them.
I never said it, not to their faces, not even to myself.
But I hated them.
My mother was a pureblood. Purest of the pure. I'll never understand how she ended up with him.
He was nothing. A nobody. A muggle.
They painted up your secrets
With the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew
They had always pretended to be happy together. Like normal parents.
But they weren't. They weren't happy and they weren't normal.
They were horrible people and I alone seemed to notice.
And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming?
No one's listening anyway
Father was always an angry man. He was abusive to both mother and myself.
I hated him for the way he treated us.
And I hated her for allowing it to happen.
She was a witch. She could have easily stopped it.
But never did.
Your voice is small and fading
And you're hiding here alone
And your mother loves your father
Cuz she's got nowhere to go
I would sit in my room, hidden away in the corner where he could not see me. I would pray everyday for someone to come and save me.
But salvation never came.
And she wonders where these dreams go
Cuz the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying?
Nothing's changing anyway
Mother would tell me stories. About Hogwarts. The wondrous school she'd attended in her youth. The school that had taught her everything she knew about magic.
Sometimes I was skeptical. If she'd learned so much, why didn't she fight back?
When he finally got his Hogwarts letter, part of me wondered if it was worth attending. Or if it was just a school that taught how to become a coward.
But after overhearing another row between them, I know anywhere was better than here.
They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway
I learned a lot in school. I learned how to fight back.
I learned not to be a coward like mother, not to be a horrible person like father.
But these lessons weren't what made me.
Family is.
I had vowed one day that I would not become them. They were everything I never wanted for myself.
And you know I see right through you
Cuz the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming?
You're not listening anyway
But somehow, in order to become me, I had to become them first.
