Second chance
I got this idea as a plot bunny after reading a prerelease of Neferet's curse. I wanted to write how things would've been different if Arthur was Marked. I'll write it in the format of the book. Any historical errors are my fault, and if you find them, let me know, cause I'd be more than happy to correct them.**** CONTAINS NEFERET'S CURSE SPOILERS****
"My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it"
-Second chance by Shinedown
May 5th 1894
Neferet's Journal
Entry: the first
I had hoped I would never again have to resort to writing down my thoughts, but I fear if I don't I will be overcome by them. It started one night in the dining hall, when a new fledgling sat down at my table. Elizabeth and Charlotte seemed so excited. Would they have been, had they known who he was? Or who he had been to me?
I had been making small Talk with Charlotte, one of the fifth formers. It was my first day of fourth form. I remember how the winged motif on my dress had felt like an accomplishment. The motif to me represented that I'd put a year between everything I'd suffered in Chicago (or close to a year) and now. That was when the new student walked by. He was quite tall, and had dark hair. I didn't see his face until he'd come back from getting his food. HE sat down at our table, but I didn't look up, so when I did, he had already recognized me.
"Emily?" He gasped, while I was still fixated on my soup. My head shot up, not believing my ears. When I saw him, a shock of recognition raced through me. He was tall, taller even, than he had been before. Not to mention how bright his blue eyes were.
"I haven't been Emily in a long time, Arthur." I replied curtly "A year, in fact."
Elizabeth whispered something to Charlotte and they got up to get dessert.
Arthur looked down at his hands, not daring to make eye contact. I wanted to kill him. He had the audacity to forsake me after father raped me and now he thinks he can just come back to my life? "Are you okay, Emily?" He asked
"I told you I am not Emily." I snapped, wishing he'd just leave.
"You have not told me what to call you instead." He replied, still not daring to meet my eyes.
"That was by design." I started "Arthur. One year ago you made it all too clear that I was never to be a part of your life. I do not care if that's changed to you. It never will to me. You left me alone when I needed you most."
He sighed, slowly letting the air hiss out through his lips "I was afraid you'd say that." His tone sounded clipped "I haven't forgotten you. I thought of you almost constantly, wondering if you were okay. When I was Marked, I asked them where you were, and they told me here. I begged to come here. I wish I could've come here sooner." He sounded like he'd been waiting for the moment he could say this. Like keeping it pent up was physically painful to him. I hoped it was. I hoped that it hurt him even a fraction as much as his leaving me hurt me.
"And you thought by telling me this you could make me love you again?" I demanded "You think that I'm going to sympathize with your pain wondering if I was okay? You think after all this, you can return to me?" I stood up "Maybe, if I was still a naïve, innocent, young girl, I'd come back to you. But not now. Not in this life." I turned to leave.
He just let me walk out, but I wasn't done. I whirled around one last time. "And by the way, I'm fine. I made it without you." I stormed out, and into the garden in the back of the House of Night, where there was a statue of Nyx I liked to seclude myself near. There were no lilies there, but there were wild flowers, there was even a thicket of roses that exuded a beautiful scent. It was so beautiful because it wasn't at all like the stargazer lilies from the Wheiler house.
"I used to know a girl who loved the garden." I heard his voice, "There were times when that garden was all she had, but she never stopped going there. That was where I decided I loved her, where we had our first kiss. Where I told her I would marry her. And now she won't even look at me. Who am I kidding, I can't let her know I'm here." That's when I realized he hadn't spoken, I had read his thoughts. I tried it again, probing for Charlotte's thoughts, this time. I didn't get actual concrete thoughts, but I got a general picture of contentment.
I wondered if Nyx had given this to me as an affinity. A thrill of excitement rushed through me as I fled from my sanctuary to find my mentor. After we talked, her telling me I had probably imagined it, I came back to my room, where Astrid, the other fledgling in here, was already sleeping. I wonder now, as I write all this down if I am mad. If I have imagined Arthur's thoughts being as such because I wanted him to miss me.
No. I didn't want him to miss me. I told myself, scratching out all the lines above. I do not want him to miss me. I do not want his love unrequited or otherwise. I want him to stay out of my life, like he'd promised to when he said "Emily, I wish you well, but this is all too much for me. I cannot, will not have such things in my life." Those are the words he betrayed me with, and I do not wish to hear any more than that from him. I will not let Arthur Simpton back into my life.
Well, this may/may not make sense depending on whether you also got an advanced copy of Neferet's Curse… If not, then I should explain something. Arthur Simpton was going to marry Neferet, but then (the day her father raped her, no less) she was marked and he abandoned her.
