Challenge:
1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn your music player on and turn it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.
Pairing: Xander/Andrew
Extraordinary
If I Knew Then by Lady Antebellum
'cause love only comes
Once in a while
And knocks on your door
And throws you a smile
And takes every breath,
Leaves every scar,
Speaks through your soul
And sings to your heart
But if I knew then
What I know now
I'd fall in love.
When Anya died, Xander didn't have a lot of regrets. He was sad that she was gone, but he didn't find himself wishing that he'd done more, been better. When she died, they had been really over. They'd had their break up sex and their 'its over' talk and it was really over.
But when Andrew died, he found that he had quite a few regrets.
He wished he'd said, just once, that he loved him.
XXXXX
The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
And looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.
Andrew never really felt like a part of the group. At first, he was just the evil guestage they kept. But then he was good, he had reformed (it seemed that team Slayer was made up of reformed bad guys).
But even then, he wasn't really part of the team, he was just there because he had nowhere else to go, and they needed every able body, even if he was likely to die.
But he didn't. Die that is.
But he still wasn't one of them. He wasn't wanted.
Xander ran his hands through Andrew hair and kissed his softly, telling him it didn't matter what anyone thought, he was one of them now.
XXXXX
In The Dark by Flyleaf
Fill this space Idle words
I'm scared to death of light and silence
Jesus kill me inside this
Raise me up to live again
Like you did, like you did.
He used to be afraid of the dark. With good reason. People died in the dark. The light was the only place you could hide from the vampires.
But now he feared the light.
He used to be frightened by loud noises, the kind that mean something large was about to kill you.
But now he was afraid of the silence.
In the light, everyone could see him. Their silence meant they were uneasy, didn't know what to say to not hurt him.
In the light, he sees himself in the mirror. The silence meant he was alone.
Andrew would wrap his arms around him from behind and hold him tight, assuring him that he was still beautiful, no matter how many eyes he had.
XXXXX
Looking For a Good Time by Lady Antebellum
How bout baby
We make a promise
To not promise anything more than one night
Complicated situations
Only get worse in the morning light
Hey I'm just lookin' for a good time
It was Andrew's idea. Just a little fun. Nothing solid, nothing concrete. Just fun. Nothing more.
Xander went along with it, 'cause, hell, he was a little drunk and it wasn't like he had anything better to do.
Neither was looking for something. They were both looking for nothing.
They whisper meaningless words in each others ears as they have meaningless sex.
In the morning, neither has regrets, because it didn't mean anything. It was just sex. Nothing more.
XXXXX
Fingerprints by Katy Perry
I wanna break the mold, I wanna break the stereotype
Fist in the air I'm not going down with out a fight
It's my life, and I'm not sitting on the sidelines watching
It pass me by
I'm leaving you my legacy
I gotta make my mark
I gotta run it hard
I want you to remember me
I'm leaving my fingerprints
I'm leaving my fingerprints
I'm leaving my fingerprints on you
Andrew wants more than anything for Xander to just remember him. He knows he isn't Anya, he isn't the perfect woman, the perfect match for the one eyed carpenter.
But he's all that Xander has now. It didn't matter that he wasn't what he wanted, Anya was gone.
Andrew would prove to him that he loved him, that he was more than what the world saw him as.
Xander was going to remember him.
XXXXX
Saying Sorry by Hawthorne Heights
Saying sorry, we've fallen apart
Wish we knew this from the start
Saying goodbye's the hardest part
Wish we knew this from the start
Anya was angry, of course. She had every right to be. But he had to tell her. He had to tell her.
As he says the words, tears fall from her eyes and she is furious and he wishes he could say he's sorry. He wishes he could find the words to apologize.
He didn't want to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her. He loved her.
But he had to make her understand. It was over between them. They were really over and they both knew it, no matter how much it hurt them both. No matter how much they loved each other.
Nothing could change that he was in love with Andrew.
XXXXX
The Last Night by Skillet
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything You need me to be
When they're heading off their separate ways, Xander to Scotland and Andrew to Italy, Xander pulls him close and promises him that its only for a while. They'll be together again.
Buffy and Willow and Dawn and the others don't understand it, they don't understand why they're together. Xander ignores them. He calls Andrew the night before he heads off to Italy to rejoin him. He tells him they'll be together, forever. They're not going to be without each other anymore. Screw what Buffy wants him doing, this is the last night they won't be together.
XXXXX
What I've Done by Linkin Park
What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done
He begs for forgiveness everywhere he goes. From Buffy, from Willow, from the potentials. From Xander.
They all push him away and tell him that there is no forgiveness for what he's done. He killed his best friend. He couldn't be forgive.
Except Xander.
Xander pulls him close and tells him that they aren't the ones that need to forgive him. It doesn't matter if they ever forgive him.
He needs to forgive himself.
XXXXX
The Diary Of Jane by Breaking Benjamin
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place
In the Diary of Jane
Andrew had desperately wanted Warren to notice him, to see him as more than the sidekick in their little trio. He would have done anything to get him to notice, to one up Jonathon so he would be noticed. He'd even killed Jonathon to show Warren that he loved him. He had killed for him.
For a long time, he had loved Warren.
Only, now he didn't. Now there was Xander and there was no comparison between them. They were completely different, as was his love for them. His love for Warren was destructive, while his love for Xander was beautiful.
He never killed for Xander. Never did anything horrible to have him notice. He was only himself. He didn't act as he tried to worm his way into Xander's heart. No acting, no tricks, just hope.
XXXXX
Life Starts Now by Three Days Grace
Cause life starts now.
You've done all the things that could kill you somehow
And you're so far down
But you will survive it somehow because life starts now.
They were all incredibly lucky to have made it out alive. Everyone of them survived against all odds.
Only, Xander doesn't feel lucky. He feels like he just lost the woman he loved. He feels like he's been cheated.
Andrew takes his hand and holds it in his own.
"We've survived," he said quietly. "That's what matters. It's not the time to mourn. Yes, lives have ended, but our lives have just started."
