I lay here, bleeding to death in front of all the clans. I think I need this. Having all nine of my lives ripped away in one blow. After all, there really isn't much worth living for. I don't know what happened to me after that day.

*Flashback*

Ravenpaw ran away, towards camp. I had a feeling he was going to tell. I had to come up with a story fast. Or else I'd never be deputy. At that thought I realized something.

I had only thought of my chances to be deputy. Not one moment did I think about my apprentice. The one I loved. I quickly dashed to camp.

"Tigerclaw! There you are. Ravenpaw has told everyone that Redtail is dead." Darkstripe said as soon as I entered. I cringed away from his congradulating gaze. He knew that I had planned to kill Redtail. But only knew half the reason.

My eyes searched for Ravenpaw. The small black tom was talking with Firepaw and Graypaw. For a heartbeat he looked at me, then turned away. I watched him stand, excusing himself, and walk into the apprentices den.

That was my chance. I could go apologize, tell him that I did love him. But that was when Bluestar called a clan meeting. I barely payed attention, only when my name was said. She was making me deputy.

Afterwards, I didn't feel like doing anything. Just lie down and hope StarClan smites me in my sleep.

The next few days I tried to catch Ravenpaw alone. But he was avoiding me. One day I couldn't find him at all. Word around camp was that he ran away. You should be happy, I thought, He can't expose you if he's gone.

But I wasn't happy. I was the complete oppisite. After that, I snapped.

*End Flashback*

So now I'm dying. Darkness, horrible darkness is surrounding me. I know I shall not be permitted in StarClan.

I will be going somewhere else. Somewhere much darker, miserable. Just what I need. I can't go to StarClan, I have no desire to.

If I were to, I'd never be happy there. Never be happy anywhere. I've lost my raven.