Chapter 1- Harry's Sorting

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters.

Warning: This popped into my mind when I couldn't sleep. As the title already implies this is in fact nonsense. It is kind of AU. Oh and there are some spoilers for book one, two and seven.

"Potter, Harry!", McGonagall finally called out.

Shaky-legged the small raven haired boy walked forward to put on the talking hat to be sorted into one of the houses.

He sat down on the chair and waited, while the Professor put the hat on his head.

As soon as the hat touched Harry's head everything went black for the little boy and he slumped down on the chair.

The hat was confused and a bit embarrassed, never before had he dropped the sword of Gryffindor on a pupils head and knocked him or her unconscious. But after pondering shortly the hat decided it didn't really matter. None of the new students saw anything, except his black fabric. Humming a merry tune he had picked up in Dumbledore's office, the hat waited for the boy to regain consciousness.

He didn't have to wait too long.

With a low groan: "What happened?", Harry came back to awareness.

The hat groaned, what a stupid question! Even if the boy hadn't been Gryffindor enough too draw out the sword, he would never have been send to Ravenclaw!

The hat ignore the stupid question and decided to go on with the sorting.

"Well you are obviously a Gryffindor!"

The boys face lit up and he was about to join his house, when a thought crossed the hat's mind.

Maybe it would be good to give the future saviour of the wizarding world a few information about what was expected from him. After all the hat had the power to know the future happenings in the school!

"Wait!", the hat stopped the eager boy.

"Hadn't it been for the sword falling on your head, you could also have gone to Slytherin. But now I see that it has to be because there is a part of Voldemort's soul stuck in you. Bad luck boy, it means you will probably have to kill yourself. The good news is you will have to wait until you found and destructed six other Horcruxes.

But for now you just have to give me the sword back, so you can kill a basilisk with it in your second year. You don't know what a Basilisk is? Well, just imagine a really really big snake, which can kill you with only looking you into the eyes."

The boy-who-lived-and-really-wanted-to-leave-now went from confused to a chalky white and ran.

He tried to get back on the train to drive home.

"Hey! I didn't even tell you about all the times you almost die in this school!", the hat shouted after Harry, causing him to run even faster.

The boy however didn't come to far, because he was stopped by Dumbledore and put on his place a Gryffindor table.

The hat sighed and would have shook his head, if such a thing would have been physically possible as he watched them.

What had become of the noble house of Gryffindor?

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