Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill, but if I did you'd notice a distinct lack of Lucas. Kinda like in this one-shot.
A/N: So this is season 5-ish. Not exactly sure of much more than that.
Sometimes.
Sometimes she still gets weak in the knees when he smiles at her (Okay, maybe it's every time).
Sometimes she misses the feel of his arms around her, especially after they'd make love (Though they never called it that).
Sometimes she wonders what it would be like if she had never let him go.
Sometimes she wonders if, all those years ago (Oh god, has it been six years already?), she made the right decision. She wonders if it was really her decision to make. Those brooding beautiful blue eyes (Just not the right ones) staring at her, telling her how he knew her, how he got her (Get her? Jeez, that doesn't sound possessive or anything) and all that crap about her art mattering. How could a girl resist that, especially when the alternative was once again giving her the brush-off.
Sometimes she wonders how no one has figured it out yet. That she was indeed lying about her reasons for coming home (She knows now that home is wherever he is). That she did come back for a boy, for a Scott. It just wasn't the one everyone thought it was.
Sometimes she thinks Haley will never be good enough for him. Haley never understood just how lucky she was that he chose her. And then the girl nearly threw it all away for Chris. Fucking. Keller.
Sometimes she's pretty sure she's going to hell for thinking that about one of her best friends, and all around nicest-girl-on-the-planet (Seriously, is that act annoying that shit out of anyone else?). And to be honest it's a lot easier to ruin the life of some girl she barely knows (Sorry Lindsey, maybe you should have kept the Good Luck Bamboo for yourself) , than rip the heart out of someone who's been really there for her.
Sometimes she thinks he might feel the same way too. And that maybe, somewhere down the line they can finally be together, the way they always talked about. Before Lucas, and Haley (God, even her name is annoying). Then, inevitably, her conscience catches up with her. It will never happen. They will never happen (Because he has a wife, and a son, and a house, and a LIFE).
Sometimes will never be someday. But at least with Lucas she has that.
