Pairing: Jasper/Edward

Rating: M

O Cum All Ye Faithfull.

I didn't even make it to the doorstep before the door swung open and Ma shot out with her arms open wide.

She grabbed me to her skinny frame and buried her face in my chest, while I pressed my lips into her blond curly hair that matched my own.

Her eyes were glassy with tears when she lifted her face and looked up at me. "I've missed you, Jasper," she said on a long sigh. She patted my cheek affectionately. "It's so good to have you home again."

For the first time in months – probably since I left for New York – I felt some genuine happiness. "It's good to be home." I said, wishing more than anything that it was more than a half-truth.

"I missed you on Thanksgiving," she said with a hint of reproach in her voice.

My shoulders sagged. I hated letting her down but I just wasn't ready to come home... I still didn't feel ready, but there was no way I could disappoint her at Christmas too.

As I followed her inside, I couldn't help but sneak a glance across the street. My heart sank; I had no idea how I was going to get through Christmas with the Cullens – with Edward.

Turning away, I threw my arm around Ma's shoulder and followed the enticing scent of cinnamon and apples wafting from the kitchen.

"Apple pie." My mouth watered as my stomach growled loudly. "I've sure missed your cooking, Ma."

That earned me a shimmery-eyed stare that told me without words just how much she'd missed me.

"Why couldn't you have picked U Dub like Edward and Emmett? They come home at least once a month... I don't know if I'll ever get used to only seeing you on holidays." Her sadness intensified. "It wasn't the same without you on Thanksgiving."

"You already said that, Ma," I groaned.

Guilt spread through my chest, like a heavy, black cloud blotting out the pleasure I'd been feeling at being home again. I was too much of a coward to face up to what I'd done, but it wasn't fair that Ma was suffering for it too.

I chose NYU because of the distance it afforded me. The last two years of high school were a nightmare for me. Hiding my feelings for Edward was a torture I could no longer endure, and I thought the distance would help me get over it.

My plan was simple; go to college and get over Edward.

However, it hadn't worked out that way. We got shit faced after the graduation party and I fucked everything up by making a move on him.

The last time I saw him he was sneaking out of my bedroom at dawn. That afternoon, I came up with a story for Ma that I'd been offered a place on a summer course at the university, and left town the following day – and thanks to the memories of that night, I'm still not over Edward.

"... got home yesterday. He brought his girl over to meet me last night, she's certainly beautiful." She lowered her voice as if we weren't the only two people in the house. "But she's a little snooty if you ask me."

Coming out of my daze her words registered and my stomach clenched with jealousy. "Edward brought a girl home?" My mouth was suddenly desiccated as I forced the words out.

"No, Emmett did," she said bending to open the oven. My relief annoyed me.

"Her name's Rosalie..."

We sat together at the table eating warm apple pie and talking about the Cullens.

We've lived across the street from them forever. After my dad died, Esme and Ma got real close and we became an extension of their family. We spent every Christmas with them and we vacationed with them the times they didn't go to Europe.

My dad left us comfortable, but we'd never be rich like the Cullens.

"... I knew that wouldn't work out, how could you ever trust a man who plays poker for a living? I mean, isn't that professional lying or something?"

That comment made me laugh loudly, but then sobered when my thoughts turned to Alice. She met Garrett on a trip to L.A. and surprised everyone when she married him within six months. They moved out to Vegas and we never saw much of her for a few years, she could never seem to make it home for the holidays. Last year she turned up on Christmas Eve, heavily pregnant, and with just her daughter in tow. Garrett had stayed behind in Vegas.

News of the divorce wasn't exactly a surprise, but his timing stunk. The bastard chose to tell her he'd been cheating on her a few weeks after she had their little boy.

"I think she's moving back here," Ma continued.

"Yeah, well I can't see there's anything worth staying in Vegas for. Her family's here."

"Why don't we go over there now?" Ma said, brightening at the thought. "I'm not the only one who's missed you. I have to take these pies over anyway." She nodded at the two other pies sitting on the counter.

I shook my head. "You go. I'm gonna clear the ice and snow off the driveway."

After she left, I pulled my parka off the hook in the entryway and jammed my arms into it, wrinkling my nose at the slightly musty smell.

The ice was thick and difficult to shift with the crappy shovel I was using. Within minutes my back was killing me and my breath was fanning out in great plumes of steam around me while I huffed with the effort of clearing it away. Every now and again, I couldn't help but sneak a glance across the street. Edward's car wasn't in their driveway.

Maybe he'll skip Christmas because I'm here.

I was only about halfway done when I heard a truck screeching to a halt. Before I even turned around, I knew it would be Newton. That fucker drove like a maniac.

"Hey man," he greeted, throwing one arm around my shoulders and pumping his fist in mine.

He grabbed the snow shovel out of my hand and laughed at it. "You know we have shit down at the store that will get the job done in half the time."

Grabbing it back, I scowled at him and stabbed it into the ice again. "Well, there's fuck all else to do around here," I groused.

"That's where you're wrong, my friend," Mike said in a sing song voice. "My folks are out of town 'til tomorrow night. I'm having a party tonight." He beamed at me. "Everyone is back in town, it'll be like a reunion."

"We've been out of town for less than six months," I reminded him with a snort.

He slapped my back. "Come on, Jas! It's the festive season... get in the spirit."

He was right; it had been hard adjusting to a new city, a new set of friends and a new routine – but I envied him his enthusiasm for being back here, under different circumstances I might've felt the same way.

"So, you up for it?" he prompted.

I glanced over at the Cullen's house. "Sure."

I could hear the music from around the corner. Ma was disappointed when I told her I wouldn't be joining her at the Cullen's tonight, and she berated me for not going over to see Esme. It was easy to placate her with the reminder that we'd be spending the evening with them tomorrow... and all of Christmas day.

Not that I was looking forward to it, but I couldn't let Ma down.

Mike's house was practically vibrating with the noise, so I dispensed with any attempts at propriety and just walked straight in.

Instantly, I had to dive out of the way of Tyler who was hurtling down the stairs on a toboggan aiming straight for a pyramid of tin cans. A loud whoop went up even though the cans scattered everywhere, ricocheting off the walls and probably gouging chunks out of the woodwork.

"Whitlock!" Tyler yelled, leaping up off the ground. "Where's Cullen?" he asked, looking behind me expectantly.

I shrugged. "Haven't seen him."

"Guess he'll turn up later," Tyler said.

I hoped not.

Tyler didn't hang around to talk; someone was already re-stacking the cans.

As I made my way through the living room, people kept stopping me to ask where Edward was. By the time I reached the kitchen I was pissed off and desperate for a drink. Mike was huddled in the corner busy forcing his tongue down Tanya Robinson's throat, so I turned my back on them and helped myself to some beer.

"Hey Jasper," Eric shouted, drunkenly slapping my back with too much force. "Where's Edward?"

"How the fuck would I know? We're not joined at the fucking hip," I snapped.

Eric's eyebrows shot up in surprise. I offered no apology.

"So how's life in the windy city?"

"I wouldn't know," I answered, relaxing a bit. He quirked an eyebrow in question. "I live in New York," I corrected.

He downed the last of his beer and thrust the red cup under the keg to refill it. "Right." He nodded, screwing up his face after taking a gulp. "We're all scattered to the winds now, it's hard to keep track of who goes where. So, how you liking New York?"

I took a moment to think about that, but couldn't really say. My classes were interesting enough, and my dorm was okay... but I couldn't really say I was liking it, there was a void I couldn't seem to fill. Looking at Eric over the rim of my cup, I shrugged. "It's okay."

The night degenerated into a high school party. I sat on the sofa in the family room getting steadily drunker as the night wore on, watching my former classmates all revert to type. The usual hook ups ensued, and I actually started to feel relieved that there was a whole other world waiting for me on the other side of Christmas.

Somehow Eric was still beside me and he filled me in on his life in Boston. He focused on the pussy he'd supposedly been enjoying during his first three months of college life.

He's a virgin if ever I saw one.

His words got lost in the cacophony of music and voices and dissolved into nothing more than a buzz. He didn't seem to notice that I was no longer listening to him.

Joints were being passed around at a rate of knots, and I got so high I felt like I was melting into the sofa. The lights on the Christmas tree were hazy and utterly mesmerizing.

"Hey, Edward!"

My head turned automatically when Eric's greeting rose up above all the other noise, snapping me out of my weed-induced fascination with the Christmas tree.

Edward was standing in the doorway, his intense green eyes focused on me. His expression inscrutable.

The alcohol I'd consumed made his image swim a little, which was probably a good thing. Nobody should look that good.

Every red cell in my body pooled to my groin. Nerves fizzed in my stomach and my hands started to tingle with the need to touch him. For a heartbeat I thought his eyes darted to my crotch.

Fuck!

I'd forgotten how hard it was to suppress my natural reactions around him. Somehow I managed to wrench my gaze from him and close my eyes. When I opened them again he was gone.

My eyes roamed the room but I couldn't find him. It was hardly surprising that he couldn't stand to be in the same room as me.

The tree lights caught my attention again and I zoned out.

"You want another beer?"

My eyes drifted closed. I shook my head hoping Eric would see. I felt him get up off the sofa.

A few minutes later I felt the cushions dip beside me.

"Was Cullen in the kitchen?" I slurred before I could stop myself.

"No, he's right here."

My heartbeat stuttered at the sound of his warm velvety voice. Straightening, I rubbed my hands down my face in an attempt to straighten myself out. I thought it was Eric who sat beside me, but when I opened my eyes it was Edward instead.

He was looking down, and I followed his gaze to see his long fingers rolling a joint. When he raised it to his lips, his eyes locked on mine. He held my gaze while his tongue slid out and licked slowly along the paper.

Unable to fight it; my eyes followed his tongue every millimetre of the way.

My throat constricted while I watched transfixed as he wrapped his lips around the joint and lit it. His eyes never left my face.

There was a fucking storm raging inside me and his apparent calmness irritated the shit out of me.

His lips puckered as he sucked in a long draw from the joint before holding it out to me. My fingers brushed his when I accepted it, and his eyes narrowed slightly. He leaned back on the couch and his legs dropped wider until his thigh was pressed against mine. It wasn't entirely involuntary when my leg jerked away.

His gaze was unwavering and I felt exposed when he looked down at our legs. My heartbeat kicked up a notch when he deliberately pressed his leg to mine again.

What the fuck is he doing?

Taking a long hit of the joint, I held it in my lungs in the hope it would calm me, but Edward made a show of licking his lips which made me choke on the smoke.

When I recovered from my coughing fit, my eyes zeroed in on his mouth again. His fucking lips were full and wet and I could practically taste them again. The weed had lowered my defences and I knew I was openly ogling him. I was no longer aware of anything else in the room, he had my full attention. Still, he kept staring right back at me.

His lips lifted on one side.

"Edward!"

The spell broken, we turned simultaneously at the sound of Angela Weber's voice. She plonked herself down beside Edward, throwing her arm across his shoulder. Normally I might've been irked by this action, but Angela was one of the good guys – girls.

"Aw... It's so good to see you guys together," she gushed. "It feels like old times." She hiccuped loudly. "I love how you two were always together. ... it must be so hard for you not being at the same college."

"Everything changes," I mumbled.

"Ain't that the truth," Edward muttered before downing the contents of his cup. "Drink?"

It sounded more like a challenge than a question so I nodded. He rose in one fluid movement and strode off in search of the keg.

Angela lifted my right arm and looped it around her neck as she slid closer. "You guys are so cute together," she murmured against my neck.

I froze.

"Don't panic. I won't tell anyone."

"What are you talking about Angela?"

"So I'm drunk," she slurred. "But I've always been on to you... yes I have... I see you... I see the way you look at each other... though I've never seen it as obvious as it is tonight."

At first I was on full red alert, but then her words sunk in. Each other?

She laughed at my expression, swiping her finger and thumb across her lips. "My lips are sealed," she promised.

Edward returned. "I brought you a beer," he said, thrusting a bottle into my hand. "And none of that shit from the keg."

Angela winked at me as she squeezed my knee and stood up.

Edward slid into the space she vacated.

The heat from his body seeped into mine, and I was hit with a flashback of his bare skin on mine. Chest to chest, thigh to thigh... dick to dick.

I downed the beer in one long series of gulps. The memory of what I'd done stood like a wall between us.

"How's school?"

The music was pounding now, people were dancing and laughing but with that one question I felt like everything had shrunk down to just us. Like we were in an empty room. Like nothing had changed. It stuck in my throat that he wanted to act like I hadn't ruined everything. Like I hadn't spent the last six months feeling like I was missing something – someone – I couldn't live without. Like I hadn't been wishing every day, that I could turn back the clock and keep my hands to myself.

"That's it?" I asked bitterly. "After months without a single fucking word, you think you can just strike up some dumb ass conversation about college?"

"You always were a fucking drama queen," he said, smirking.

His smirk fuelled my anger but the long day I'd had sapped me of the energy to argue with him. Instead, I let my head flop backwards onto the sofa and ignored him

Some blond girl I didn't recognise approached us. She wiggled in between us and introduced herself to Edward. I bristled while she explained that she was a friend of Tanya's and was spending Christmas with her. Edward leaned closer while she spoke, his long fingers curling around her waist.

"I gotta go," I muttered, scrambling to my feet.

My head spun as soon as I stood, and I hit my shin on the coffee table as I stumbled away from them. The place was swarming with people now, and it took me a full five minutes to push my way out to the front door.

Cold air slammed into me as soon as I stepped outside. The wall was freezing beneath my hands as I leaned on it for balance. For a horrible moment I thought I might puke, but it passed and I started walking.

I'd only made it as far as the gate when I heard the door slam and footsteps pounding behind me.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," I snapped.

Edward fell into step beside me and in my drunken state I kept stumbling into him. Every time he tried to steady me, I shrugged away from him.

We walked for a bit in silence. The frigid air helped me to sober slightly.

"Why did you tell me to forget it?"

The night I spent with him was the best night of my life, but when I woke up the next morning to find him creeping out of my bedroom without looking back, I was crushed. I knew then that he regretted it so I sent him a text telling him to forget that it had happened.

"I fucked up. It's best just to forget it."

It took me a moment to realise that Edward had stopped in his tracks.

"You fucked up?" His voice was laced with confusion.

"Yeah, I shouldn't have come on to you. I couldn't help it, but it doesn't make it right. I'm sorry."

He smiled. He fucking smiled.

"I knew it!" He sounded triumphant.

His exclamation confused me, he wasn't making any sense.

"Knew what?"

He closed the distance between us in three long strides and stood so close to me I could feel his breath on my face. "I wondered if I was seeing something that wasn't there, but it was." He shook his head in happy disbelief and rubbed his hand through his hair. "The way you've been looking at me all night..." His voice trailed off.

I huffed out a sharp breath. "Don't fucking taunt me with it, Edward," I warned.

"You really don't remember?"

My patience was rapidly wearing thin. "Remember what?"

He reached out to me and I flinched at the suddenness of his movements. "You didn't come on to me Jasper, I came on to you."

It was almost as if my jaw came away from its hinges it dropped so far.

My expression must've been questioning because he nodded even though I'd said nothing. "I started it," he confirmed.

My brain turned itself inside out trying to recall the events of that night. However, they were all mixed up in my fantasies, and I no longer knew the difference between real and imagined.

My dick hardened at the memory of how he felt in my hand, how good his lips felt on mine. Seeing him again had rattled me. I'd expected some sort of angry reaction, but never this.

"I couldn't stand it," he whispered, pushing me into a small alleyway and pressing my back into the wall. Placing his hands on either side of my head, he leaned in close. "The thought of you leaving... I was drunk and I couldn't hide it anymore. Fuck, Jasper, you were so fucking into it."

"Hide what?"

My lips felt dry, and when I licked them I almost licked his too, he was so close.

"Your dick was hard."

"What?" My mind was reeling.

"Tonight," he whispered moving closer. "When you first saw me, you stared at me like you did that night... and your dick was hard."

Continuing to stare at him, I desperately tried to make sense of what he was saying.

"You were hard for me."

"You... wait, what were you hiding?"

"I want you."

It was a bold statement that fucking thrilled me to bits... but then I remembered that he walked out on me.

"Then why did you fucking sneak out on me that morning?"

The intensity in his eyes stunned me when his hand travelled up my neck and touched my face tentatively. "I panicked."

"Wait... I don't get it. I've spent the last six months–" I jerked my head away from him, but he didn't move away.

"Thinking about it? Me too... and I kept thinking that there were signs all along but we were too busy trying to hide it from each other."

"No!" I shouted. "Not thinking about it... fucking turning myself inside out over it... I–"

"Remember that night with the Wallace sisters?" he blurted, cutting me off.

It felt like a trap door had been sprung beneath me plunging me into icy water. Anger swelled in my chest and I pushed him away from me.

"Are you fucking with me?"

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm trying to make you see," he said.

"See what?" I asked frustrated by the way he kept changing the subject.

"That night with the Wallace sisters was the worst night of my life." His tone was grave.

His words shocked me. It was a horrible night for me too, but it was his idea.

Back then, all the locker room talk was about who was getting the most pussy. Edward and I were pretty much convinced we were the last two virgins on the team.

Edward had always been a big hit with the girls, but he never took up on their offers. It was a hard time for me. While everyone else was off getting laid, Edward and I hung out alone every night. Sometimes when I was high he'd catch me staring at him. Occasionally I'd catch him staring back at me curiously and I'd panic that he'd figured me out, that he knew I didn't want a girl because I wanted him.

Mike had parties nearly every weekend. All the guys were working their way through the female student body... except Edward and me. Edward was acting strange that night, asking me if I wanted to get laid, I remember his questions were almost goading. He sweet talked Monica and Marnie Wallace into coming upstairs with us.

We argued when I said I wasn't interested. He kept asking me to give him one reason why I didn't want to fuck one of them. I went through with it just to shut him up, because I was sick to my stomach with the worry that he knew who I really wanted to fuck.

Revulsion had welled up in me when Marnie started kissing me and trying to put my hands on her tits. It took all the strength I had not to push her away, and the sight of Edward and Monica making out on the bed multiplied my misery by a thousand. It was the sound of Edward's moans that got me hard, not the girl rubbing herself all over me.

I lost my virginity watching Edward lose his. The body beneath me was of no consequence. It was the sight of Edward's bare ass flexing with every thrust of his hips that aroused me. When he looked over his shoulder and glared at me I lost it, and the female voice that whimpered in pleasure when I pulsed inside her shamed me.

We both got blind drunk that night and woke up the next morning battered and bruised. It wasn't till the next day we found out that we'd fought with each other. Neither of us knew why. We never talked about it again.

"I thought it was what you wanted," he revealed.

"It was what you wanted," I accused, turning to walk away from him.

He inhaled deeply. "I wanted you."

I stopped dead. "Really?"

"Really," he insisted.

It felt like someone had dropped an Alka-Seltzer in my blood. Lust fizzed through my veins, I wanted him so badly I was shaking with it, but I was still too shocked to believe it.

His body pressed against mine, and the heat of him against my front contrasted sharply with the cold wall at my back. "You were fucking hard for me," he murmured, repeating his words from earlier. "Admit it."

His fingers were feather light on my neck but somehow firm enough to pull me forward. His lips were millimetres from mine. The faint smell of weed and beer on his breath reached my nose. All I had to do was move forward and I could taste him again.

Somewhere a door opened, and the strains of O Come All Ye Faithfull mingled with chattering voices filtered out into the night.

Edward's hands roamed down my body as his lips skimmed my ear.

"Oh come let us adore him," he crooned, skimming his hand over my crotch. He smiled against my cheek when I hardened beneath his talented fingers. "O come let us adore him–"

"Isn't this blasphemy," I groaned, unable to stop myself from thrusting into his hand.

His laugh was deep and throaty. He cupped my dick and squeezed lightly, while his tongue traced my ear. A woman's giggle nearby startled us and he stepped back. The clack of her heels resonated down the alley as she passed. Edward muttered something about getting home and stepped out onto the street again. I followed him blindly, still trying to make sense of what was happening.

We walked in silence past a couple making out against a car. It occurred to me that we'd been hiding in an alley while this couple didn't need to.

"Are you going to invite me in?" Edward asked seductively.

It was then I realised we'd arrived at my house.

"Please?"

I nodded and told him to be quiet as I opened the front door. We took our boots off and he followed me into the kitchen. When I turned to ask him if he wanted a bottle of water, the sight of him in the bright glow of light from the fridge distracted me.

My eyes scanned his face, attracted by the dark scruff on his jaw, the moist sheen on his lips and the enticing twinkle in his eyes.

"I miss you."

At first I thought it might've been me who spoke. It was certainly the sentiment I was feeling, but as he inched closer to me I realized the words were his.

"You never called," I murmured, distracted by his slow movements towards me.

"You told me to forget it," he reminded me.

"Did you?"

He shook his head, inching closer still. "I never even tried."

Again, it struck me how very different his reactions were to how I imagined they would be. I'd never even considered the possibility that he felt the same way as me.

"You've been thinking about it too, haven't you?" he murmured.

The seductive tone of his voice wrapped around me like a cocoon of pure pleasure. It rippled across my skin causing the hairs to rise and tiny tingles of nervous anticipation sprung up in goose bumps across my exposed skin. My cock was hard as granite.

"I never knew," he whispered, sliding his nose down mine. My eyes drifted closed as a surge of arousal rocketed through me. "But looking back I can see it so clearly."

I had no idea what he was even saying. I was too focused on the heat of his hands sliding into my hair and the vibrations of his lips as they almost touched mine.

"I want to kiss you," he whispered.

"Upstairs." My voice was little more than a rasp as I grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, and kicked the door closed.

"Shhh." He winced when the fridge door clattered.

We stood for a moment listening to the silence. Satisfied that Ma hadn't heard us, we tiptoed slowly upstairs.

I closed my bedroom door quietly. He came right up behind me and took the water from me before placing it on my nightstand. My dick was straining in my pants when his fingers curled around my shoulders and turned me to face him.

Six months of pent-up frustration exploded inside me. We were an instant tangle of limbs as he pushed me down onto the bed and assaulted my mouth with his. A loud groan roared up from my chest and he pressed his lips tighter to mine, muffling it as his tongue slid inside.

The friction he created when he bucked his hips into mine brought another groan flying from my throat.

"Shh," he commanded, pulling away from my mouth and sliding his lips across my cheek. "You smell so fucking good," he whispered into my ear. "I've always loved the way you smell."

His words thrilled me.

He bit the lobe roughly, clamping his hand over my mouth when I cried out in pleasure. I froze for a moment worried that Ma would hear us.

"Don't worry," he assured me, seemingly guessing what I was thinking. "She's slept through more than this."

He was right, it wasn't the first time we'd come home drunk and made a lot of noise.

I decided thinking about Ma wasn't the best thing to do right now, and lost myself in Edward again. His lips came back to mine, tasting faintly of beer and just about the most delicious fucking thing ever. When his hands skimmed beneath my shirt, I reached over my shoulder, grabbed the collar, and yanked it off.

His soft moan was triumphant and he sat up grinning at me while he pulled his own shirt off. When his fingers went to the button on his jeans, I felt drunk at the thought of seeing his cock again.

We were completely naked within seconds.

He slammed me back against the pillows, his green eyes blazing as he hovered over me. "Do you want this?"

The memory of the last time rocked through me. "Do you?" I challenged. "Because I can't wake up tomorrow and watch you walk out on me again."

"I want you." His eyes burned with conviction.

I reached down and wrapped my fingers around his dick, marvelling at the roll of his eyes and the bob of his Adam's apple.

He collapsed onto his elbows. His face pressed into the crook of my neck, his breath coming out in short sharp pants as he shuddered under my touch. I slid my other hand down and cupped his balls, running my thumb over the springy hair and smooth skin beneath it.

"Fuck that's good," he hissed, flexing his hips. "I wanna come all over you."

The effect of his words made my dick twitch violently, and I swirled my fingers around the tip of his cock, spreading the pre-cum around his head.

In a sudden movement his mouth mashed into mine, and I lost my rhythm on his dick when he plunged his tongue into my mouth.

Like a man possessed, he wrapped his hand around mine and started pumping furiously. His head lifted and he looked straight into my eyes. "Harder," he demanded.

He swelled in my hand, growing harder and I redoubled my efforts, knowing he was close.

"Fuck, Jasper. I've fucking dreamed about your hands on my dick. Do you dream about me?" he grunted. His lips were so close to my ear, the heat of his breath tickled the skin on my neck, sending shivers of pure pleasure washing down my spine.

"All the time," I admitted, pressing my face into his shoulder. I licked his sweat slicked skin and bit him lightly. He cursed in pleasure.

"I think about it all the fucking time," he panted. "I think about you sucking my cock. Do you remember it? It was the best fucking thing... ah... fuck..."

"Remember it? I've jerked off to it a million times," I rasped, sliding my hand under his balls and squeezing them firmly.

His head reared back and his whole body shuddered. "I'm gonna fucking come all over you Jas. Do you want it? Do you want my spunk on you?"

I fucking did. I loved his dirty talk and could feel my own orgasm building even though he wasn't even touching me.

He lurched forward again, pulling my hand away and replacing it with his own. His knees shifted a little either side of my waist as he adjusted his position. Gripping the back of my head with his left hand, he tilted my face up so I was looking into his heavy lidded eyes. "Watch me!"

My eyes fell to his hand working furiously on his cock. "Fuck yeah!"He groaned as hot streams of spunk shot out of his dick, painting thick white lines on my chest and abs. His hand tightened, gripping my hair as he pumped through his orgasm.

I'd never been more turned on in my life. My eyes were glued to his cock as he squeezed the last drops of cum out.

"Jesus," he moaned, letting go and planting his sticky hand on my shoulder. He stared down at the mess he'd made on my chest and grinned. "You look hot as fuck," he said, still panting.

Some of it was running into my navel, and the feel of it cooling on my chest wasn't entirely pleasant... but the thought of it sure as fuck was.

"Hey! That's mine," I complained, when he grabbed my shirt and used it to clean me off.

He chuckled. "Well I can't go home tomorrow with my cum all over my shirt, can I?"

"Tomorrow?"

He planted a hard kiss squarely on my lips, and I cried out in ecstatic surprise when he gripped my dick. "We're not done yet," he said, his voice full of promise.

His domineering side was fast becoming my favorite thing about him... aside from his dick.

All of it was better than my memories-come-fantasies had ever provided. Not even my most lurid fantasies had lived up to the sheer ecstasy of having him talk dirty to me while spraying my chest with his cum. I swelled in his grip, but there was still a part of me that was reeling from the shock of how fast we were moving.

"I never got to taste you last time," he whispered, skimming his nose along my cheek and sliding his hot tongue across my gaping lips. "Do you want my mouth on your cock?"

"No."

He froze, his head snapped up, confusion dulling some of the intensity in his eyes. "You don't?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I grinned. "Of course I want you to suck my dick. What kind of stupid question is that?"

'Prick,' he muttered.

His long fingers curled around my shaft, applying just the right amount of pressure. He dipped low and breathed into my ear. "What's it like?"

The pleasure of his hand working me was so great it took a moment for the question to register. "Hmm?" Was all I managed to utter since my bottom lip was trapped between my teeth.

"Sucking dick. What's it like?"

The flame was doused.

"I'm no fucking expert." I protested, offended by the implication. "I did it once."

My dick was still throbbing, but he let go and stared at me for a few moments. "Have you ever..." He stopped and sucked in a deep breath before continuing. "You're attracted to me right?"

I jerked my head down, aiming my nose at my dick. "What do you think?"

He tried to stifle a small smile but I still caught it. "Have you ever been attracted to any other guy?"

"Never."

"Me neither," he admitted. "Why do you think that is?"

"I have no fucking clue," I said, wishing he would just touch me again already. "I mean, you're the first person I ever thought about in that way. I thought it was maybe a phase and eventually it would stop and I'd be attracted to someone else... but it never stopped."

He nodded in apparent understanding. "Were you thinking about me when you fucked Marnie?"

"I was salivating over your ass, dude."

He laughed at that and I had to remind him to be quiet. It wouldn't do for Ma to come in and find us lying on my bed with our dicks out.

"I'm a bit freaked out about it," he whispered eventually.

"About what?"

"Everything," he said on a heavy sigh. "It freaks me out that I want to suck you off, and I'm freaked out that I might not be able to do it. When you did it to me it blew my fucking mind."

"I didn't think about it," I pointed out. "I was drunk off my ass and just did what came natural."

He skimmed my hip with the back of his fingers. My cock had softened a bit, but that little action had it revving up again.

Thinking it might be easier on him if I wasn't covered in the remnants of his jizz, I suggested taking a shower. I meant alone, but didn't complain when he followed me into the bathroom.

He got right under the water with me, pressing his hard dick against my ass while he jerked me from behind. His fingers bit into my hip and he ground himself against me while he pumped my shaft relentlessly. Bracing myself on the tiled wall I hung my head down and watched his hand sliding over my cock. It was the best fucking thing I'd ever seen.

My head hurtled back against his shoulder as my release slammed through me. His cock pulsed against my ass cheek as he exploded all over my back. We made out under the water until it cooled, forcing us to get out.

Even though I was stone cold sober now, I still felt like I was tripping when I emerged from the bathroom to see him sitting on my window ledge, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He was rolling another joint.

I went to the bedroom door and opened it. The house was completely silent, and satisfied that we hadn't woken Ma, I closed the door quietly and joined Edward at the window.

We'd need to open the window to smoke the joint, so I pulled two sweat shirts from my drawer and tossed one to Edward. He handed me the joint and lighter before shrugging it on and opening the window. An icy blast of air shot in and obliterated my post-orgasmic haze. I pulled the blind most of the way down to stem some of the breeze blowing in.

"What do we do now?" I asked, lighting the joint and taking a deep draw.

"I take you to bed and fuck your brains out?" He offered, grinning wickedly.

The smoke in my lungs flew up into my throat and swirled in all directions making me cough like a motherfucker. He pulled my head into his chest in an effort to reduce the noise.

"I was kidding," he laughed. "Though, if you want to take me up on it I could be serious."

"Fuck Edward! Are you trying to fucking kill me."

He pried the joint from my fingers and put it between his lips, still grinning like a madman.

He raised his foot and balanced it on the sill. The view up the towel was spectacular. He had a great fucking cock. He smirked when I told him. With the joint dangling from his lips, he opened the towel and took his cock in his hand. "Really?" he asked, looking down at it.

"You're such a fucking tease," I accused, leaning forward and pulling the blind all the way down.

He licked his palm and began to stroke slowly. "You love it."

Fuck he was hot.

"Show me yours," he said, slipping back into that demanding tone he'd used earlier.

My dick was standing straight up when I opened my towel. He looked down at me and when he licked his lips, a small bead of pre-cum oozed from my tip.

Staring at my cock, he stubbed the joint out, and blew a long plume of smoke out between his lips.

I gasped when he sunk to his knees and wrapped his fingers around me. "I don't fucking get it, Jasper," he whispered, bringing his face closer. "I've seen dicks in the locker room and I've seen them in porn, but they've never turned me on. So how come yours does? How come I want to suck you like a fucking lollipop?"

My fingers threaded into his damp hair. "I'm fucked if I know," I said truthfully.

It didn't make sense to me when I thought about it either, but it sure as shit felt right when he leaned in and licked the underside of my shaft. The way his warm tongue slid from root to tip, was just the purest slice of heaven I'd ever felt. I groaned, gripping his hair tighter.

He stared at my dick long and hard. My breath stopped in my throat as I half expected him to back away. He didn't. He opened his mouth and enveloped me with mind bending pleasure when his lips slid over me. My head lolled backwards as waves of ecstasy coursed through my veins. I shivered with pleasure only to have it snatched away when he sat back.

I frowned at him.

"I want you naked on the bed," he whispered.

Only too happy to oblige, I yanked the sweatshirt off and threw it on the floor beside our discarded towels.

He pushed me down onto the mattress roughly and settled between my legs, pushing them wide to accommodate his broad shoulders. I snatched a pillow up and put it over my face to muffle my loud groans.

He was a fucking natural and brought me to the brink in no time, but he didn't let me finish. Instead he let me go and started to lick his way up my body making me groan in frustration. He sucked on my collarbone before scraping his teeth across my jaw. "You need to shave," he murmured, flicking his tongue out.

My fingers rubbed along the rough stubble covering my jaw.

"Not there." His hand cupped my balls. "Here."

My eyes widened while his glittered mischievously. "You're into that kinky shit?"

He snorted. "It's not kinky. I just don't relish the feeling of hair on my tongue."

"I want to put my tongue everywhere," he whispered into my ear. "I want to suck on your balls, Jas." I almost whimpered like a fucking girl.

He kissed me hard, pushing his tongue deep into my mouth. It didn't matter that I could taste myself on him. In fact it was intoxication tasting my cock on his tongue. His hips started to circle, mashing our erections together in the most satisfying way. He kept talking to me, telling me all the places he wanted to put his tongue.

He slid down my body a bit and I moaned at the loss of his cock against mine. His right hand slipped under my knee and raised it up. All the while his tongue was massaging mine. Pulling back from the kiss, he pressed his index finger against my lips. "Suck it."

My lips parted and he slipped his finger inside. "Get it nice and wet," he said, watching me with burning eyes while I swirled my tongue around his finger. With a wet pop he pulled it out, replacing it with his tongue again.

So lost in the kiss, I wasn't aware of what he was doing until I felt his wet finger stroking between my butt cheeks. They clenched reflexively.

"Relax," he murmured, nipping my jaw with his teeth.

"Edward," I warned.

He circled his finger and my muscles clenched tighter of their own accord. I grabbed his wrist when he started to press in. He stopped right away.

"I don't know if I can do this," I admitted, not looking at him.

"You've never been curious?" he asked, so close his lips buzzed against my skin.

"I've kind of always considered that an exit... not an entrance," I said.

A bubble of laughter rose up from his chest. "You know, you think way too much, Jas. Just relax."

The warm velvet heat of his mouth closed over my cock again, the swirl of his tongue relaxed me instantly. When his finger probed again, I fisted the sheet in my hand, but the firm suction of his lips on the head of my dick helped distract me.

"Jesus!" I cried out against the back of my hand when he pressed in. His finger must've been too dry because the friction burned a little... and it felt huge. "Are you sure that's just your finger?" I bit out feeling him smile around my cock. "It feels like a fucking broom handle."

He withdrew it, and I sighed with a relief that lasted all of two seconds, because he wrapped his other hand around my dick and started bobbing his head up and down my shaft. I could feel the tension coiling in my groin, release imminent. He moaned around me and when my voice failed me, I gripped his hair in warning.

Release ripped through me, and even the sound of him gagging couldn't spoil the best orgasm I ever had. His mouth was still on me, but I felt the warm trickle of cum sliding down my shaft.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, his face pressed into my thigh. "It caught in my fucking throat... I couldn't swallow it. It's bitter as fuck."

"I didn't expect you to do that," I said, reaching out and grabbing one of the bottles of water on my nightstand.

He opened it quickly and gulped it down gratefully, while I watched in amusement.

"I didn't think about it," he admitted, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"We need to find balance," I said smirking. "I think too much and you don't think enough."

After making a quick trip to the bathroom to clean up, I slipped back into bed beside him. We lay side by side staring at the ceiling for a few minutes before Edward rolled onto his side and looked down at me. "Should we spoon?" he asked with a grin.

"Fuck off and go to sleep."

He lowered his head and sucked my neck before sinking his teeth into it.

"Jesus man," I said, pulling back. "That'll leave a mark."

"Dude, we were at a party tonight. Nobody is going to think it was me who marked you."

I fell asleep with the faint worry about what people might think if they knew about us.

Soft snores woke me in the morning. Knowing Ma would get up soon, I nudged him gently whispering his name.

His eyes fluttered open and he glanced down at his body wrapped around mine. I braced myself for the regret.

"Morning," he croaked sleepily, before pressing his erection into my hip with a grin.

Relief flooded my veins.

"We should get dressed," I said ruefully. "Ma will be up soon."

"At least she won't think it's weird that I've been here all night."

I chuckled at that. "Just like old times."

"Better than old times," he insisted, biting my shoulder lightly. "Much better."

While he used the bathroom, I pulled on my jeans and yanked a shirt from my drawer. A few minutes later Ma popped her head around the door. "Morning, son," she greeted brightly, but then her nose wrinkled. "God, it stinks in here. You should open a window."

Edward chose that moment to come out of the bathroom. Thankfully, he'd put his clothes on. "Morning, Marjorie," he said stalking towards her and kissing her cheek.

She simpered under his attentive gaze. "Morning, Edward." She turned to me. "I'll go make you boys some breakfast."

When the door clicked shut behind her, I turned to Edward and repeated my question from last night. "What do we do now?"

Picking his socks up off the floor, he sat down on the bed and pulled them on. "I want to enjoy it."

I frowned at him in confusion.

He ran his fingers through his damp hair. "I know I want this. I've always wanted this... it's the rest of the bullshit I don't want."

There was no need for him to elaborate. People knowing about us scared the shit out of me too. Cold air blasted in when I opened the windows wide and stared out at his house across the street. Apprehension gripped me when I thought about what it might be like today.

Could we really sit around the table with our families and pretend we hadn't spent the night getting each other off? I knew I wasn't ashamed of it, but I also knew I wasn't ready to go public yet.

Edward came up behind me. Even just the heat of his body permeating my clothes was enough to make me hard.

I groaned.

"It feels good," he said quietly.

"It does," I agreed.

"Then that's all that matters."

Turning to face him, I studied his expression. "What about–"

"Fuck it," he said with a casual shrug. "Let's just keep it to ourselves for a while and enjoy it before we get caught up in all the fucking drama." He smiled. "I wanna come over tonight again." His voice was lustful and hard to resist.

"Isn't it my turn to come over you?" I joked.

His eyes darkened and his tongue poked out and wet his lips slowly. "Fuck, yeah."

I groaned with frustration because tonight felt like a lifetime away. "It's Christmas Eve," I reminded him.

"So? I've stayed at your house before on Christmas Eve."

"Don't you have that thing to do for Alice?"

"The Santa thing?" He asked and I nodded. "Lucy will be in bed by eight. We can come back over here after that."

"So we're just going to act as if nothing happened?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Only when we're not alone."

Ma was in the kitchen singing Jingle Bells when we came downstairs. Edward acted completely natural while I was as skittish as a cornered animal. She slapped Edward's hand away when he tried to steal a piece of bacon, and ordered us to sit at the table.

It was obvious it wasn't accidental when his thigh brushed mine as sat beside me. I had the feeling he'd be doing that a lot today.

Ma set the plates on the table and stared at us. I groaned when I saw her eyes grow wet with unshed tears. "It's so good to see you two sitting there again," she sniffed. "I've really missed having you around."

"I'm here for two weeks, Ma. It's a bit early to start missing me again."

She rounded the table and hugged me, pressing her lips into my hair.

Edward and I ate our breakfast while fielding questions from Ma about girls. It put a slight damper on my euphoria to know that she was hoping I'd settle down and give her grandchildren.

When we were done eating, we made a hasty retreat back upstairs.

"I'm gonna go home and take a shower," Edward said, pressing me up against my bedroom door as soon as I closed it. His lips grazed my neck. "D'you wanna come over?"

"I should stay here and spend some time with Ma," I lamented. "She wants me to put up the Christmas lights." I held onto his hips and ground my dick into him while I spoke.

His eyes rolled back but he pulled away. "Okay, we'll make up for it tonight."

After he left, I lay on my bed marvelling at how easy being with him was. After years of hiding my feelings, I would've expected some awkwardness or trepidation, but there was none. All I felt was a deep sense of relief.

Ma fussed over me all day. She kept trying to feed me, saying I looked thinner than I did when I left. When I put up the Christmas lights, she got all maudlin and reminisced about dad. She always missed him most at this time of year... I missed him too but it helped to talk about him.

While we talked, I started to feel bad that I had abandoned her and moved to the other side of the country for my own selfish reasons. Reasons that didn't even exist any more.

At dinner time, Ma and I made our way over to the Cullen's. Standing on the porch, my mouth was dry and my heart was hammering in my chest... but there was no place in the world I would rather be.

Emmett answered the door.

"What the hell are you doing knocking?" He bellowed. "Come on in!"

He was half way to drunk already, and slapped my back painfully as I passed. "So you finally decided to come see us. This is how you treat your family now?" His attempt to channel the Godfather was woeful at best, but I laughed anyway.

Alice grabbed me in the hallway, pushing me into the downstairs bathroom before I had a chance to make it any further into the house.

"What the fuck, Alice?"

"Shhh!" she clamped her hand over my mouth and thrust a bag into my hands.

The bag was lightweight and when I opened it, I found it contained a Santa suit.

"Lucy has been following Edward around all day. If he dresses up as Santa this year she'll catch on right away. Will you do it?"

"Right now?" I asked.

"She's been hyper all day; she's so tired she's running on fumes. It won't take long. I promise."

She pulled out the big guns, giving me the puppy dog eyes. I reluctantly nodded in agreement.

She flung her arms around me and kissed my cheek. "Oh... and hi," she said with a sheepish smile.

"Yeah, hi," I grumbled.

"Do you need a hand to put the suit on?"

"I think I can manage," I said sourly. "I'm more worried about having to act like Santa... what the fuck do I have to say to her? Do I need to put on a stupid voice? You know I'm no good around kids."

"You'll be fine," she said, patting my hand like I was five years old.

She turned to leave but I caught her arm gently. "I'm sorry about Garrett," I said.

She shook her head sadly. "Don't be. I'm better off without him."

I pulled her to me and kissed her forehead. "You want me to kick his ass?" I asked lightly. "Because I totally will."

She cupped my cheek. "I'm okay. I promise."

The wig and beard were itchy as fuck and I felt like an idiot when I looked at myself in the mirror... I was the skinniest Santa Claus anyone ever saw. I texted Edward and asked him to bring me a cushion. He laughed like a lunatic when I opened the door.

"Fuck off!" I groused.

He pulled the beard down and kissed me, but I had to make him stop – the pants weren't thick enough to restrain a boner.

His eyes sparkled with amusement as he watched me stuff the cushion into the pants and cinched the waist. "Do I have to say Ho Ho Ho and shit?" I asked.

"Isn't it the jolly green giant who says that?" he responded, still smirking at me.

"Is it? Fuck... I'm gonna suck at this. She should've got Emmett to fucking do it."

He grabbed my hand and put it on his dick. "You can suck at this," he laughed.

Opening the door, I shoved him out of the room, the sound of his laughter ringing in my ears. I leaned against the wall while I waited for my boner to deflate.

When I stepped into the family room a loud holler went up, and little Lucy's eyes grew wide with wonder. Alice coaxed her to sit on my knee and I had to talk bullshit in a ridiculous voice. It was fucking hard to ignore Emmett sniggering behind his hand. Fighting the urge to curse at him was even harder.

I got through it though, asking her if she'd been a good girl and what she wanted for Christmas. Basically, I just thought about every cheesy Christmas film I'd ever seen and put it out there.

Baby Curtis nearly threw a fit when Alice put him in my arms. He wriggled around like a fish out of water, screaming the place down. I thrust him back at Alice, desperate for him to stop screeching.

Thankfully, she took the kids upstairs right away. As soon as they were gone, I pulled the beard off and took a long pull of the beer Emmett gave me.

"Fucker!" I said to him, wiping my mouth.

He punched my shoulder. "Watch your language, Santa." He grinned.

He pulled his girl forward and introduced her to me. She was a looker alright, but she had this constant expression on her face like she had a bad smell under her nose. She didn't seem interested in making small talk which suited me just fine. Ma was right, she was a snooty bitch.

"That wasn't so bad," Edward said quietly, after everyone had greeted me and went back to talking amongst themselves.

"It was horrible," I said with a laugh.

"It took your mind off being awkward around me," he whispered.

He was right.

The rest of the night was good. I drank a few beers and the buzz kept me relaxed enough to prevent Edward's sneaky little touches under the table from unhinging my composure. Since it seemed to amuse Edward, I kept the Santa suit on all night.

Around eleven, Ma went home, Emmett and Rosalie left to go to a nightclub and Alice turned in. Esme and Carlisle sat with us for a bit and we swapped stories about college. By the time they went to bed I was desperate with the need to be alone with Edward.

"I can't wait to get over to your place," he said, sliding closer on the sofa.

"Give it another hour to make sure Ma's sleeping," I said draining my beer.

"We could just go up to my room," he suggested with an air of desperation in his voice that pleased me.

"This house is full of people... and they don't all sleep as soundly as Ma," I pointed out.

He turned the lights out but left the CD playing Christmas carols. We made out to the strains of Silent Night. The reminder of him rubbing my cock in the alley last night made it the longest hour I'd experienced in a while. I simply wanted him naked in my bed.

At last it was worth the risk, and we moved out of the living room.

Edward grabbed the white wig, laughing as he pulled it down over my hair. He backed me up into the hallway. "It'll keep you warm," he snorted.

"I think you've got a Santa fetish," I accused, laughing with him.

On impulse, I leaned in and kissed him. He moaned into my mouth, pulling me closer. His lips spread into a wide grin when my dick hardened and poked at him through the thin pants.

A mischievous grin played on his face when he looked down and pulled the waistband of the Santa pants away from my body. "Does Santa have a present in here for me?" he asked seductively.

Swatting his hand away, I reached around him and opened the door, forcing him outside.

The house was in complete darkness except for the porch light, which meant Ma had gone to bed.

Just like we did last night, we crept up the stairs quietly.

As soon as we were in my room we attacked each other's clothes. My dick was so fucking hard it hurt like fuck, and I nearly yelled out when Edward's hand closed around it.

He paused, quirking an eyebrow as his fingers skimmed over my balls. "You took my advice then?" He smirked.

"You said you wanted to put your tongue everywhere," I reminded him.

I stifled my moan of pleasure on his shoulder when he rubbed his talented fingers all over my balls and shaft.

The backs of my knees hit the bed and I pulled him down on top of me when I fell onto the mattress. His mouth was everywhere, my face, my neck, my chest and finally between my legs. I almost shot my load when he licked my sac. It felt fucking great, and the no hair thing was the best idea he'd ever come up with.

Shifting on the bed, I pulled his legs up towards me until his cock was right in front of my face. Taking in the smooth skin around his cock, I smiled, appreciative of the fact that he'd shaved for me too. His fingers dug into my butt when I wrapped my lips around the head of his dick and sucked violently. His hips bucked causing him to slide deeper into my mouth.

Feeling worried that Ma could walk in on us sucking each other off, I pulled the cover over us. Everything intensified under there, the heat rolling off our bodies, the soft sucking noises and sporadic moaning. The scent of our bodies was thick and intoxicating – my arousal hit an all time record.

Losing myself in the moment, I wet my finger and rubbed it around his hole. The low guttural moan that escaped him reverberated up the length of my cock, driving me crazy and revealing that he was into it. There was lube in my drawer, but thanks to the distraction of Edward's mouth devouring my dick, it took a bit of rummaging before my fingers finally found it.

I coated my fingers liberally and pushed one in slowly. He moaned again, clearly enjoying it better than I had. His cock swelled in my mouth and telling me he was close, so I sucked harder and pushed my finger in further and started pumping it. His whole body went rigid and his dick started jerking in my mouth shooting streams of hot salty cum straight down my throat.

My throat struggled to keep up as I swallowed frantically in my efforts not to choke on it. Even when his flaccid cock slipped out of my mouth, I kept working him with my finger which encouraged him to suck harder. My hips were thrusting now but he didn't seem to mind, he just kept taking me all the way to the back of his throat... it was fucking magical.

Fireworks exploded in every part of my body when I came. My toes curled and I had to push my face into his thigh to muffle the loud groan that hurtled from my throat. I'd never felt anything as exhilarating as coming in his mouth. The sheer force of the pleasure had me trembling.

We lay there panting, still underneath the covers, enveloped in the sheer bliss of our new-found honesty with each other. Eventually he moved up beside me, and sat up.

I watched as he took a long drink of water from the bottle on my nightstand. He looked down at me. 'It still tastes as bitter as fuck,' he grinned, passing me the bottle. I drained it and sat it on the floor.

Edward lay down again, wrapping himself around me. His kisses started off rough but grew long and languid and I wondered if I'd ever get enough of his lips on mine.

I woke in the morning to the feel of his hard cock grazing up and down the crack of my ass. When I turned to look at him, I was surprised to find that he was humping me in his sleep. I was hit with the sudden realization that I really wanted to fuck him... but I wasn't sure if I could let him fuck me.

When his eyes drifted open he smiled at first, but then his lips turned down into a frown. "What is it?"

"Nothing," I said, inching closer, but he pulled back a little.

"You look worried."

"No I don't," I denied.

"How the fuck would you know what you look like?" he said. "Tell me what's wrong?" He looked a little worried himself now.

"Nothing's wrong," I insisted moving towards him again. This time he didn't pull back. "Merry Christmas," I murmured against his lips.

He didn't look convinced by my denial but he didn't press me either.

"Wanna jerk me off in the shower?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows at him.

"Only if you let me fuck your mouth after," he countered.

My gut twisted with pure arousal.

After the best shower in the history of showers, we headed downstairs.

Ma was in the kitchen drinking coffee and listening to carols on the radio. "Merry Christmas, Ma," I said pulling her into a tight hug.

"Merry Christmas, son," she responded.

Her eyes widened in surprise when Edward stepped into the kitchen. She frowned at his damp hair before glancing at mine. She looked away quickly when she caught me watching her.

"We should get going,' she said, putting on her coat. "Esme will have breakfast ready."

Fresh snow had fallen during the night and frozen to ice. Ma slipped on it and when Edward and I both grabbed her, she alternated her gaze between us. I caught her troubled expression as she let us hook our arms through hers.

"I love you boys," she said quietly. "No matter what, I love you."

Edward and I exchanged glances.

I held him back as Ma stepped into the house. "I think she knows we were in the shower together," I said, panicking a little.

"You're being paranoid," he said dismissively. "If that was true, she'd be freaking out by now. I think our secret's safe."

"I'm not ashamed," I told him.

"Me neither, but I just want us to get used to this before everyone else starts interfering."

Sucking in a deep, calming breath, I managed to smile. "Don't fucking tease me under the table today," I warned.

He laughed loudly as we stepped inside.

Everyone was already at the table when we got in. Little Curtis was sitting in his high chair giggling happily at a toy car that Lucy was running across the tray. We made our way around the table greeting everyone and Esme piled bacon, eggs and pancakes high on our plates.

Edward smiled at Lucy. "So was Santa Claus good to you?" he asked, winking at her.

She nodded and jumped down from her chair before scrambling into his lap. "This is my new dolly," she said holding it out for Edward to inspect.

"She's really pretty," Edward remarked, scooping a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

Lucy wrinkled her nose a bit. "Don't you like her?" Edward asked, his mouth still full.

"Do you think Santa hid her in his pants?" Lucy asked, all wide eyed and innocent.

The loud roar of laughter that rung out around the table startled Curtis, and he immediately started bawling.

"Why would you think that?" Alice asked, pulling Curtis out of his seat and into her arms to soothe him.

Lucy looked from her mom to Edward and back again. "Last night I sneaked downstairs to see if Santa had been," she began, two spots of crimson flushing her cheeks. My blood froze in my veins. "I saw him in the hallway with Uncle Edward."

Edward's face took on a ghostly hue, and I felt panic swell in my chest. I tried to remember if Edward had pulled my pants down or just away from my body. I felt nauseated by the thought she might have seen something she shouldn't.

I looked at her again when she continued speaking, and decided she didn't look traumatized. That had to be a good sign. But my relief was short lived when she continued to speak.

"He gave Santa a big kiss and then looked into his pants and asked him if he had a present in there for him." She turned her big brown-eyed gaze on Edward. "Was my dolly in Santa's pants?"

I watched in horror as the smiles around the table faded and eyes widened in realization.

The clatter of steel hitting porcelain was deafening.


A/N I won't mark this one as complete because I'm about half way through a second chapter. I'm not sure if I can do it justice but if I can, I will post the second chapter at some point in the (hopefully) near future.

Thank you for reading

Kat

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