After months away from the x-verse, I decided to have my come-back. Please read and review :)

I need a beta so if you are interested, pm me :)


I wish I could be your daddy

Four months after Rachel Summers' birth the entire mansion was still excited about her. When Jean and Scott brought her close to other people and the kids for breakfast or lunch or dinner or just in the garden so the sun could see the baby, everyone was amazed by the baby's little giggles, glances, faces or even cries.

Kitty and Rogue with Jubilee were trying to convince Jean and Scott to let their baby with them but the couple trusted enough only Ororo to baby-sit the little clone of Jean's. The weather Witch was always more than glad to keep an eye on her little niece when the baby's parents were busy wih their jobs or selves.

Scott and Jean were grateful to their oldest friend for her help and Storm was very happy to baby-sit the child of her best friends. Jean and Scott had decided to have Ororo as godmother for the little baby and Storm had squealed (something she did very rarely) in delight for the couple's decision. That would bring the three closer and would be the people closest to Rachel.

The students had already started calling Ororo (behind her back of course) "Auntie 'Roro". Jean had informed Ororo about that and to the telepath's surprise, Ororo was perfectly fine with it.

'Sooner or later, Ray will be calling me something like that. It's OK with me, to be honest, I think I like it.' Storm said one day as she was watching Jean feeding Rachel with her bottle of milk.

The only one who wasn't that happy was Logan. When Jean would bring her daughter in the same room with him; he would just silent himself and watch her with the baby as the rest would move closer to mother and child. But when Scott would bring the little baby in the same room, Logan would just stood up and rush out of the room to go anywhere than close to the father and child. He always felt angry when he was close to Scott but when he was seeing him with the little "redhead angel" as everyone was calling the baby he was feeling furious. Not with the baby, not with Jean, not even with Scott. He just…

He was still in love with Jean and Scott's sight with the baby was making his internal wound bigger, reminding him that Jean chose Scott over him and gave to Scott a child out of their love. He never wished Jean not to have the baby, this little girl was her life's reason after the whole Phoenix problem inside her almost two years ago. He finally admit to himself. He just wished… to be the father of this little one.

To be the man who made love to Jean and got her pregnant, the man who felt the baby kicking the morning everyone was taking breakfast during Jean's fourth month, the one who kissed her furiously when they found out the baby was a girl in the monitor, the one who stood beside her and gripped her hand when she was screaming during the labor. The one who hold the little girl seconds after her arrive in the world. The one who watched Jean nursing the little one, he wanted to be the one who made love to Jean and then let her sleep and could turn his head and watch his child in her cot. The one to learn things to the child when she would be older.

But he wasn't, Scott was, Scott was enjoying all this happiness with the woman and the child of his dreams. That's why he was furious, that's why he wanted to kill Scott Summers when he was seeing him with Rachel, that's why he wanted to grip Jean and Rachel and take them away and live with them.

Lost in his thoughts, Logan didn't realize at first he was in the hall and Rachel's cries were hitting his sensitive ears from a room close to him. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and looked around. None was approaching the Grey-Summers' suite to help the baby even if her cries were getting harder.

He stood in the hall, not sure what to do. Everyone was outside, playing basketball, football or swimming in the pool. Should he call someone? Should he try to find Jean? She had to be in the lab with her mental guards shut down. Should he just run away? He couldn't do that, the poor baby was screaming so hard.

He sighted and stepped closer to the room the cries were heard. He opened the door and looked inside the room before enter it. There was a large bed, the sheets covering the mattress carefully. Bedside tables were to the bed's sides with lamps, a clock, a notebook and a vase with flowers on them. On the one side of the bed, there was a desk with a lap-top on it along with many notebooks and pieces of paper. On the other side there was a furniture with many small and large bottles (Jean's perfumes and other beauty products) on it. Next to that furniture there was a pink cot, afternoon's sun's light was showering the cot with the crying baby inside.

Logan moved closer and looked in the cot. He had never be alone with that baby, or any other baby in his life as he could remember. The room wasn't stinking so the little girl didn't need to be changed and Logan was sure Jean wouldn't let her child unfed so the baby could probably just need company. Logan remembered Jean and Ororo talking about Rachel's cries for attention.

He took a deep breath and looked at the baby closer. She was looking up at him a bit scared, probably because she hadn't be close to him like with the rest of the people in the mansion but Rachel was already calmer with someone close to her, even if this one wasn't someone she knew.

Logan tried to smile at the little one and Rachel answered by raising her tinny arms towards him. Logan looked around the room like someone could see him and stretched one arms and touched the baby's soft stomach with his hard hand, he just brushed his fingers against the little one's body and Rachel giggled at the friction. Logan smiled wider and kept caressing the little one's stomach until she got tired and bored and started whimpering. Logan's smile faded.

'Sorry little one, but I don't know what you want.' Logan said and wondered why none haven't check the little one yet. Rachel raised her tiny arms again and Logan looked around. What if he could hurt the baby by taking her in his arms? What if she fall from his arms? Where Jean was? He sighted in frustration and looked back at the baby, she was ready to cry.

He lowered his body and put his large hands under the baby's arms, his hands joining each other around the baby's tinny, fragile frame. He raised the baby slowly upwards taking with him the baby's blanket by accident but he didn't care as he tried to place Rachel against his chest as carefully as he could manage. The baby was a bit nervous in the hug but Logan supported the girl with one hand on the baby's little bum above the diaper and the pink cloth and the other hand supporting her head, neck and back against his chest. All the watching of Jean and the baby together helped after all; he though and started rocking himself to calm the baby more.

Logan wasn't surprised by many things at his age but holding this little life was something indescribable. Rachel's little fists were clutching his shirt and from her little opened mouth little saliva was watering it. But Logan didn't care, for that moment, he had to agree with everyone. Rachel was Jean's clone, she was an angel. For that small, precious moment, Logan forgot about everyone and imagined this little girl being Jean's and his. Not Scott's, his and only his and Jean's love's fruit. But a photo on Jean's furniture with her sitting on a couch smiling and Scott next to her smiling as well with his hand above her swollen belly told him the truth.

He sighted and looked out of the window with the little girl in his arms. Everyone was happy, everyone was glad for Jean and Scott, for their baby. Why couldn't he? Why couldn't he go and shag other women in town without imagining Jean underneath him, without sighting or moaning Jean's name than those women's. Why couldn't he found someone else? Why couldn't he answer to Storm's flirt game? Why he always wanted to hit Scott just because he was the one for Jean?

He sighted again and tried to put the calmed baby back in her cot but the tot protested by whimpering and clutching her little hands on his shirt tighter. Her large green-blue eyes tearing up. Logan lifter the baby so they could be in eye level. The baby smiled at him with her angelic face.

'Don't take that look, little one, I'm not Cyke.' Logan said half-sad of not being the one who just mentioned and half-amused of talking to the little baby.

'You really look like your mom, don't you? You are beautiful and cute like her,' Logan said and the baby giggled but kept watching him.

'I'm sure you'll be powerful like her as well. Beautiful, wild and powerful, but at the same time, kind, smiling and caring for everyone around you.' Logan went on and the baby kept its eyes on him. He looked at the little one for a few moments, thinking.

'But you are half of him too. So you will probably be a bit arrogant and stern and you will be trying to do everything by yourself.' Logan said and the baby giggled again not understanding a single word. Logan smiled sadly at her.

'But you will have both of them to take care of you and your powers so don't worry.' He finished and the baby made a coo noise and Logan chuckled.

'Logan?' a very familiar voice heard behind him and he jumped on his feet. He turned and looked at the woman he loved with her child in his hands. Jean was on her bedroom's doorway, she smiled at him with her special beautiful way even if her eyes had black circles under them because of her multiple powers and the baby's cries in the middle of the night (everyone in the mansion could hear them). Jean moved inside and approached Logan.

'I-I… She was crying and none was close so I thought-'

'It's OK, Logan, thank you very much.' Jean said and stretched her arms to her daughter, the baby smiled widely at her mom and giggled as Jean took her in her hands and placed her against her breasts. She smiled down at her little version and then at Logan who was watching them.

'I had a headache and I thought she was sleeping so I shut my powers to relax, Scott is downstairs as well so… thank you very much.' Jean said and Logan stretched his hand and caressed her arm lightly.

'No problem,' Logan said smiling at the little girl in Jean's hug. 'I hadn't hold her before.' He said still looking at the little half-asleep baby. Jean looked at him seriously.

'I imagine it's hard for you, I'm so sorry if Scott or I do –'

'Jean, stop,' Logan interrupted 'You didn't do something wrong—nor Scott does. We all made our choices.' Logan said and smiled at her, he moved away and opened the door of the bedroom ready to leave.

'Logan!' Jean's voice stopped him, he turned and looked at her and her daughter.

'Thanks, for everything.' Jean said and Logan nodded and smiled one last time and left, feeling his heart and mind full of pain, need, sorrow and … love for the two redheads behind him.


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