Hey guys, another Kakasaku coming your way. AU, school setting. The fully italicized portions are most likely memories, and they aren't in chronological order. So..yeah. Enjoy?
Just Fairytales
He's alone in his classroom, this man of papers and books.
She's alone in the library-neurotic, obsessed, and upset.
But what she doesn't realize is that she can never be truly alone.
But what he doesn't realize is that he could be alone-he doesn't need his books, doesn't need his papers, doesn't need his classes.
But he knows something that others don't.
But she knows something that others don't.
That beautiful minds are gifts just as much as they are curses.
She's alone in the deep recesses of the library, and yet she feels almost crowded by the musky scent of antique books. She hears the steady beat of the rain against an old glass windowpane. Drip, drip, drip. She hears shuffling, reverberating footsteps, and she turns around.
She sees nothing.
She knows nothing.
He can't finish grading the tests. He. Just. Can't. His mind is too caught up, so he can't trust himself to not make mistakes with the scores. He thinks that he can't trust himself for anything, really. He may be intelligent; he may be brilliant. But why would God give him a gift that he couldn't even control?
He wonders.
The tests remain ungraded.
Once upon a time, he believed in the kindness, purity, and rationality of human nature.
Once upon a time, she believed in true love.
But he saw all the lies, all the deceit, and all the cruelty. And he realized that he was a part of it, and that he was just as tainted as everyone else.
But she discovered that love doesn't last forever, and that a heart is so very breakable.
He doesn't know what to believe in anymore.
She doesn't know what to believe in anymore.
She examines the library's bookshelves. She's compiling sources and information for her research paper, and her topic is the fundamental belief of religion worldwide. She spies a dusty old volume titled Belief Systems of the Ancient World, and stoops to take it off of the shelf. As she straightens back up she hears a creak behind her. She ignores it. She's just imagining things, you see.
She makes her way briskly to an old wooden chair, situated in a tiny little alcove in between a bookshelf and a wall. As she pushes her pink hair behind her ears, her eyes fall onto the title the book in her hands. Belief. She almost laughs because she doesn't place value in belief any longer. Simply hoping to have your wishes granted will never help you. She doesn't believe in the kindness of others, either. When a person puts their heart into someone else's hands, simply having faith that won't prevent it from being crushed.
She hears his echoing laugh resonate in the back of her mind. How she wishes things with him had all worked out...
An emerald-eyed, pink-haired girl stands with her back to the sun and her face towards a man with silver hair. Her hands are fidgeting nervously by her sides. She clenches her fists and speaks.
"I love you," she says, "I love you."
He doesn't respond.
She presses on.
"I'm truly sorry if you're ashamed of me, but whether it's embarrassing or not doesn't make it any less true."
He finally speaks.
"Haruno-san, that's not it..." he half-grumbles, half-whispers quietly. "It really isn't."
He's hesitant to give in, though he really, really wants to. He doesn't know why it had to be her that he fell in love with. He thinks it isn't fair. But his moral duty is his top priority-he knows that he has to warn her.
"You know nothing can happen," he says, "it's illegal. The law doesn't take emotions or feelings into account. Laws consist of black-and-white ideas that can't be changed."
Her shining green eyes transform in a matter of seconds. They grow hard and determined, and their intensity is almost shocking. He can tell that she's thought about this.
"I don't care," she responds, "I don't care. I'm supposed to be in control of my life-laws can't and won't make me do a thing. I love you too much to let anything else get in the way."
It saddens him to know that her idea of love is still untainted and pure. She's hoping too much for something that can never happen. She'll never be able to live life this way-life is not a fairytale. Though she may be imbued with romantic ideas, he can tell that she is also mature beyond her years. Sure, she's always excelled in academics and she'd always been quite artistic.
But he knew what really drew him to her was her air. She moves, speaks, and lives with a determined and profound aura that never limits itself and seems to make an impact on the world around her. Her eyes have hints of darkness behind their shine, and only serves to make her seem older.
Her body position and her eyes make her intentions clear. She isn't going to leave the classroom until she gets what she wants.
And he's hesitating now. He should. He shouldn't. He should. He shouldn't. She's here, this may be his only chance. Or this may be his chance to safeguard both her and himself from breaking a law. He's confused and he's in pain, and finally he feels his resolve to not give in to her weaken. He takes a last look into her eyes before approaching her and placing his hands upon her shoulders. He turns her towards the setting sun visible through the window of the room, and then proceeds to wrap his arms around her from behind. They don't move and they don't speak, but they don't need to, really.
After holding out for so long, this is the moment in time that they've both been craving for. Suddenly, nothing matters to the man and the girl but each other and the sunset.
Even though they don't believe in fairytales, they can't help but to be hopeful for their future.
He's blaming himself, now. It's all his fault. He thinks to himself bitterly that things would be better if he hadn't had that momentary lapse of control, if he hadn't let his resolve fade...
But suddenly he's irrationally angry at her. If she loves him, shouldn't she have thought that confessing would only harm him? Did she even care for what he had to go through? Did she even care?
His mismatched eyes fall back onto the ungraded tests. The name on the paper at the top of the pile pops out at him. Haruno Sakura. Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. In a fit of rage he stands up and kicks the chair he'd just been occupying to the floor.
The chair makes a hollow clack as it lands on the cold tile.
She leaves the library, but she feels as if her body is on autopilot. She's struggling with herself, against herself, with each and every step she takes. She knows where her body is trying to take her. She can't go there. She can't, she can't, she can't. But she's steadily losing to her body and her feet are taking her along the path to his classroom. And her brain is screaming- every step brings back a memory.
Step.
She sees sunsets and silver and sighing, soft lips.
Step.
She hears her own laughter and glances at her teacher's smile.
Step.
She feels the sand beneath her feet and the wind in her hair and his hand enveloping hers.
Step.
She hears his voice telling her they can't go on.
Step.
Heartbreak.
He runs his fingers through his hair as the rest of his anger drains out of him. He's in control of himself again.
But he understands now, in a way, why he'd lost his control with had let him live and had allowed himself to feel free. He needed to lose control every once in awhile. Being perfect just wasn't human.
He glances back down at Sakura's test and smiles sadly. He can never stay angry at her.
He stood in the empty parking lot with her after school one day, and he was a bit frustrated.
"Haruno-san, you can't keep coming to my classroom during lunch." He said, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "It's just...people don't normally spend that much time around their teachers. It looks really suspicious, or like I'm up to something I shouldn't be doing." He sighed. "Look, isn't there anywhere else you could be?"
One look at her melancholy eyes told him that he had said the wrong thing.
"No," she whispered, "There isn't. What did I do wrong?"
"Spending so much time with me. Why don't you get it? I don't want you hanging around me." he said, and instantly regretted it when she began to cry.
"Please don't cry," he said worriedly, "Sorry, I didn't quite mean for it to come out like that. I'm frustrated, is all."
She sniffed and he turned slightly to give her some privacy. After a few minutes, she tapped him on the shoulder.
"It's alright," She said shakily, "I get it. I get it. I won't bother you during lunch anymore, and I won't hang around you after school."
Tears were still falling from her eyes, but she managed to smile at him. He felt like his heart was breaking.
"But if I pass by you in the hallways, can I still say hello?"
She is two corridors away from his classroom now. But somehow, she knows she's back in control of her body again. She still doesn't falter and she still doesn't stop. She feels the sudden need to test herself.
He gets it now.
He's always loved her, ever since her first few days in his class. Those first few nights after meeting her, he could never fall asleep. He chalked it up to the fact that his reality of seeing her in his class, no matter how minimal the contact, was better than his dreams. But somewhere, deep inside of himself, he'd always known that he would never have her. She was, and still is, beyond his reach.
But he's alright now. Ironically, he learned an important lesson from his time spent with Sakura.
If he truly loved her, he needs to learn to let her go.
He picks his chair up off the floor.
Step.
Step.
Step.
She's one corridor away.
He leaves his classroom and begins on his way down the corridor.
She sees him.
He sees her.
Their eyes meet and try to convey every lost word, lost thought, and lost moment that would never come to be.
They walk towards one another.
They're one step apart now.
They pass each other by.
Fin.
How was it? Review, people. xO sorry for any mistakes, this is unbeta'd.
