Ranetta, Vol. 2! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and Bayonetta belong to the respective properties.
Note: This is a one-shot, semi-fusion alt-story. C&C are welcomed.
Special Note: This is a Ranma 1/2/Bayonetta story only.
Author's Note: This is my way of testing the waters, after getting requests for a continuation. Enjoy…
Part 1
Many years ago…
The Umbral Witch called "Bayonetta" looks on, as she, along with the rest of the remains of the deity "Jubileus" went hurtling back towards Earth. Maybe, after all this time, it would be fitting that she, a rogue who consorts with demons, die the hero that she reluctantly became…
"I'm not afraid anymore, Mummy," Bayonetta said to herself softly. "No matter what…there's nothing I can't do."
How ironic that it was she, the one called Bayonetta, who would inspire herself as a child, the abandoned Cereza, by developing the will to overcome great challenges…and self-doubt. Interesting how her proclivity for "sexy violence" was nothing more than a front to protect her inner child.
'Now, it is over,' Bayonetta thought to herself. 'I can finally…rest…'
A piece of what's left of Jubileus now-petrified remains hurtles towards the Umbral Witch…
BLAM!
BOOM!
"Huh?" Bayonetta said, as she looked up to see her childhood friend and rival standing before her.
"Really, do you think that you have the luxury to sulk about your 'daddy issues', when this 'thing' is threatening the world?" said fellow Umbral Witch Jeanne.
"Jeanne?" Bayonetta replied in surprise. When she had been freed from becoming the sacred "Left Eye" of Jubileus, the Creator, by Jeanne, Bayonetta had swore that she had been killed in the attempt…
"Humph," Jeanne said with a smile and twinkle in her eye, as she helped up Bayonetta to her feet. "You know, if you die here, who's going to save the world?"
"Jeanne, I-"
"Look, you're one of a kind, and you DID manage to stop this abomination. Besides, who do you think I consider worthy to test my skills against?"
"Humph," Bayonetta said with a cocky grin.
"Now THAT is the Cereza I know and love," Jeanne said. "And no matter what, in this life or the next, we're connected."
"TWO of a kind?" Bayonetta said. "Don't make me laugh. After all, I'm the 'chosen one'."
"Humph," Jeanne said with a cocky grin of her own, as she raises her pistols. "Let's deal with this abomination, and go home!"
"Right!" Bayonetta yelled, as she and Jeanne, shifted their respective stances, so that they were now back-to-back, even as Bayonetta presented her firearms. "Ready?"
"Ready."
And, with that, the last of the Umbral Witches moved in tandem, as they saved the world…
Present day…
A lone rider of a modified Honda motorcycle is racing towards the city of Tokyo even as the morning sun was about to dawn over the horizon.
"Damn it," said the rider, as she pressed on the gas while her hair whipped about as the wind blew across her body. "Every time I black out, I am even farther away from my destination, than when I first woke up in that gawd-forsaken country. It's as if my sense of direction has been cursed…"
Pause.
"But my sense of where my old 'sister' is NOT," the rider said. "She is alive somewhere in this country, and the closer I am to Tokyo, the more I am sure that she is there…"
Pause.
"Bayonetta, I am coming for you!"
And, with that, the lone rider continues her journey…
Meanwhile, Ranma-onna was performing her early morning exercises…on a dancing pole, to the tune of "Cherry Pie" (from the 1980's rock band called "Warrant"). The pole had been installed in the Tendo Dojo, much to the chagrin of the dojo's heir.
"You call that 'exercising'?" Akane asked incredulously, as she practiced her morning workout.
"What you say 'toe-MAY-toe', I say 'toe-MAH-toe," Ranma-onna said. "What you say 'poe-TAY-toe, I say 'a two drink minimum'."
"Ranma, this is a respectable dojo, not a place where you prance around like a floozy pervert!" yelled Akane. Since the arrival of her potential fiancée to her home, the youngest of Tendo Sisters was determined that martial arts, particularly the Musabetsu Kakuto-ryu, should be practiced with honor and proper decorum, not sullied into some perverted thing…
"Ah, you're using adjectives AND nouns today, in your insults," Ranma-onna said, as she hooked her legs around the pole, before bending backwards, until she was virtually upside down. "Now, all you need to do is come up with a pronoun, a verb, an adverb, a conjunction, a preposition and an interjection in your insults, and I MIGHT be impressed."
"Oh, okay," Akane said, as she took the bait. "Ranma, the boy who secretly, enjoys becoming the one who prances around like a perverted floozy in MY dojo, but pretends to hate it, right?"
"Nice one," Ranma-onna said, as she flips slowly to a standing position. "But I'll let you slide on using 'my' as the pronoun."
"Wait, how do you-? Wait a minute, why am I debating grammar mechanics with the likes of you? As soon as Dad comes to his senses, there won't be a betrothal, let alone a marriage…"
Pause.
"And I sure as heck won't allow you to marry my father!" Akane said. "Got it?"
"Of course 'I' got it," Ranma-onna said, as she looked at herself in the mirror. Ranma-onna was wearing a simple leotard that she had borrowed from the eldest Tendo sister Kasumi…since what Ranma-onna was wearing for her morning workouts was deemed "inappropriate".
"Dreadful outfit, but I DO like the red-hair," Ranma-onna said. "And the cup-size and hips are bigger than I would like, not that I'm complaining…"
She then notices Akane staring at her in disbelief.
"You know, if you really DO like me in that 'special way', all you have to do is ask me out," Ranma-onna said with a wink and a nod.
"What?" Akane replied. "I do NOT like girls, and I DON'T like pervert boys who change into floozies!"
"Sure, you do, and I happen to be the Umbral Witch who defeated the Lord of Creation…in order to save the world."
"Now who's kidding who, ne?"
"Well, I have enough of this game for one moment in time," Ranma-onna said, as picks up a kettle of hot water that had been placed on a nearby warmer, after shutting off her music player. "Time for my little man to come out and play…"
Akane made a face as Ranma-onna poured hot water over her head…
"Aw, man," Ranma said, as he looked at what he was wearing. "I got to write a note to myself about what to wear during practice…"
"Yeah, you do look ridiculous in that," said Nabiki, the middle Tendo sister, as she stood by entrance to the dojo.
"Nabiki?" Akane said in surprise. "How long…?"
"Oh, I was here for the last few minutes, before 'Ranma-baby' came back to us," Nabiki said with a smirk. "And Kasumi wanted me to let you know that breakfast is ready to be served in twenty minutes."
"Oh, okay," Akane said, as she gathered her things. She then gave one last look at Ranma, and turned her nose at him.
"Humph!" Akane said, as she walks out of the dojo…
"You know, I'm surprised that Pops didn't wake me up to spar with him this morning," Ranma said, as he gathered his things. "Then again, I am SO glad he's not here to see me looking like this…"
"Well, I'm surprised that you don't remember this, but your 'other half' insisted that he gets a job," Nabiki said.
"Oh, yeah," Ranma said with a nod. As part of Genma accepting Ranma-onna's concessions, the elder Saotome had to find more respectable employment, since she didn't want to be used as a meal ticket, and that the Tendo family should be compensated for putting up with them…
"Well, I better get ready for school-"
"One moment," Nabiki said. "I know that your father is earning his keep around here, but there's the matter of YOU being here."
"But…I'm in school," Ranma said. "And Pops is already working and all…"
"You can still earn some money for your room and board around here," Nabiki said. "So, what are you going to do about it?"
Ranma was at a lost as to what to say next, when he heard a familiar voice in his head…
Little man, give her the envelope that is next to the music box…
"Oh, yeah," Ranma said, as he turns back to see an envelope that was lying where his music box was sitting. He then goes over to retrieve the envelope…
"Here," Ranma said, as he presents the envelope to Nabiki.
"What's this?" Nabiki said, as she hesitantly accepts the envelope. It felt thick…
"Uh, I don't know," Ranma said, with a shrug.
And, with that, Ranma walks out of the dojo.
Curiosity getting the best of her, Nabiki opens the envelope, and pulls out a note that was on a thick stack of photo paper. She decides to take a look at the pictures, with some being of Ranma-onna, and many being of Nabiki, both in a compromising position.
"What?" Nabiki said aloud, as she quickly reads the accompanying note:
Nabiki,
I noticed that you were taking pictures of me without my permission, so I've returned the favor. Well, unlike you, I haven't sold YOUR pictures to silly teenage boys for money…although I do think I am worth more than the asking price, I think. So, here's the deal: you do not try to rope 'Little Man' into a scheme of yours, and I won't ruin your carefully-crafted reputation.
XOXOXO,
"Bayonetta"
Nabiki was nearly gasping for air, trying to fathom how Ranma-onna knew about the pictures she had took of Ranma-onna, as well as how pictures herself was taken without her knowing…
Wait.
"'Bayonetta'?" Nabiki said, as she looked at the note again. She then turned the note over, and saw an addendum to Ranma-onna's note:
PS. After you stop hyper-ventilating over the loss of your 'upper-hand', I do have a 'project' that you might be interested in. Next time you see me, and not 'Little Man', present this note to ME. I do not want my other half, or anyone else, know what I am up to after hours.
"Humph," Nabiki said to herself. She then notices yet another addendum to the previous addendum.
PSS. And, no, it's not THAT. Ciao.
Nabiki's mercenary-like mind was now at work, trying to see what angle she can exploit. However Nabiki may want to "repay" Ranma-onna for securing compromising photographs of her, although the middle Tendo sister had to admit was a cleaver thing that Ranma-onna had done, she had two pertinent questions in mind.
One, who or what is "Bayonetta", and, two, what kind of business proposition did Ranma-onna have in mind?
Pushing those thoughts aside for the time being, Nabiki tucks the pictures and the accompanying note back into the envelope, before tucking the envelope into the pocket of her dress.
'Besides, I am curious as to how today will go,' Nabiki thought, as she proceeded towards the dining room of her home. 'Ever since Ranma-baby started school with me and Akane last week, Kuno-baby has been acting really…really strange of late, even for HIM. Oh, well…"
A short time later…
"You know, we DO have plenty of time to get to class," Ranma said, as he and Akane ran down the street toward Furinkan High School, which was located in Nerima Ward, where the Tendo compound was located.
"I KNOW that, but every time we arrive at school, we end up being late anyway!" Akane said. "You're not the one with the morning fights, you know."
"It's not MY fault that you have admirers with no taste."
"What was that?"
"Er, nothing," Ranma said.
"Humph!"
Ah, good one…you're learning.
'Thanks,' Ranma thought with a grin.
By the way, you should watch out for the old woman.
'Huh-?'
SPLASH!
"Oh, dear," said the old woman, after she realized that she had accidentally splashed water on a passerby. Every morning, like a ritual, the old woman would splash water along the side walk as a way of cleansing her surroundings of dust…
"I apologize for that, young lady," the old woman said, as she sees Ranma-onna cinching her waist sash.
"Do not apologize, elder," Ranma-onna said with a smile. "I have learned in my time to believe in the power of Fate. Perhaps, your actions were meant to happen?"
"I do appreciate your forgiven nature," the old woman said.
"Ugh," Akane said, thinking how weird Ranma-onna was being…
After saying her good-byes, Ranma-onna continues on her way to school.
"Were you for real?" Akane asked.
"About what?" Ranma-onna said out of curiosity.
"About all that talk about Fate."
"Ah. Well, I AM an Umbral Witch, after all."
"Ah, HA!" Akane proclaimed. "I knew it!"
"Knew WHAT?" Ranma-onna said incredulously.
"That you were some kind of demoness or witch."
"Was there any doubt? And by the way, I'm not a demoness, just a witch."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"No. Like anything, a witch can be a 'good witch' or a 'wicked witch'."
"Of course you're the wicked witch," Akane said.
"If you say so," Ranma-onna said with a shrug. "I mean, I never intentionally harmed an innocent, but I freely admit to racking up points in the body count where 'angels' are concerned…"
"…What?"
"I guess, you might say, to use gaming terminology, I lean towards 'chaos neutral', since I do business with the Netherworld?"
"…WHAT?"
"You know, we better hurry, or we WILL be late," Ranma-onna said, as she crouches a bit and leans forward. "Here, get on my back."
"For what?"
"I am faster than you are, and we can get to the school in no time."
"…"
"Humor me."
"Whatever," Akane said, as gets on Ranma-onna's back. "This is so stupid…"
"You're ready?"
"Yeah, I am."
"You got a hold on me?"
"I'm going to get a hold of your neck if you don't get going," Akane said angrily.
"Ooh, kinky," Ranma-onna said. "Reminds me of a date I was on a while back…"
Pause.
"Hang on for a bumpy ride!" Ranma-onna said, as she steps down on her rear heel. The pavement cracked, as she sprung into a run.
THOOM!
FWOOSH!
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Akane screamed, as she held on for dear life. "How can you move…so FAST?"
"Heh," Ranma-onna replied with a cocky smile, as she quickly made her way to school…
Tbc.
