Disclaimer: I don't own General Hospital or its characters.
Ethan walks through Port Charles on a breezy June day and for the first time in a long while, he feels as though that's all it is. Simple as that. There are no eyes spying behind his back, no whispers trailing in the wind and finding his ear and his name is no longer being printed daily in the local newspaper.
It makes no rational sense but Ethan knows that today the air is sweeter, the sun is shining brighter and things in the universe are just right. For him at least.
He can finally breathe again.
Taking the steps two at a time, Ethan arrives at the docks and finds Kristina there, perched on the wooden bench and watching the waterfront. Stilling at the bottom of the steps, he considers her with concerned eyes. He hasn't seen her in a couple of days, not since he'd been called to testify about what happened that night. He remembers going over the details that led up to him taking her to the hospital, how she had shifted uncomfortably beside her lawyer while never once meeting his eyes, guilt and shame clouding her features.
Since then, it's as if she's done a complete 180, looking more at peace. The wind's lifting her hair and brushing it beyond her shoulder, and her eyes are closed happily against it.
Ethan's breath is caught at the sight and he bites the inside of his cheek for letting her get to him. She's a seventeen-year old girl for God's sakes, an immature girl who cried his name at her lowest point and pushed him into a lion's den.
"Kristina, you know that I would never hurt you. Not in that way. You need to tell the truth."
"I'm sorry. I can't, Ethan. I can't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"So am I."
She'd eventually retract her statement, seeing the error in her ways but it'd been too late salvage whatever friendship they'd had. By that time his name had already been ran through the mud and his death warrant inked. Maybe it's unfair to think that way because she truly had been hurt and scared but it still made his stomach boil and his skin hot—how easily she'd pointed her finger at him without any conscious thought.
Sighing and suddenly feeling heavy in his own body, Ethan goes to head back where he came from.
"Ethan, wait!"
With his back turned toward her, Ethan scrubs a hand over his face, cursing his luck. "No, no, it's alright. You stay and I'll go." He pauses and makes a non-committed motion with his arm before adding, "You were here first."
Her dry laugh carries over to him. Ethan flinches, not used to that particular tone coming from her pretty mouth. He tries not to focus on how completely wrong it is."So what? Suddenly this town's not big enough for the both of us?"
He should go. Really. Just ignore her. But dammit, Kristina's right, they can't do this forever. So against his better judgment, Ethan rolls his shoulders and puts on a tight smile, wheeling around and heading toward her.
He hesitates before taking a seat on the bench, trying to figure out the best way to go about this. He doesn't want to sit too close but he's not enough of an ass to sit as far away as possible.
Kristina expels a harsh breath and rolls her eyes, "I can practically hear the wheels grinding in your head, Ethan. Just sit down."
"I'm not sure that this is such a good idea," Ethan replies lowly, warily. "It's probably better that I just go. I don't--"
"Please."
And it's that thing she does that works every time. Every time, his protests fall back into his throat, never to be heard because when it comes to Kristina Davis, they're useless. The way she pleas is soft and earnest and it undoes Ethan, more so than he's ever been comfortable with.
Her dark eyes are warm and glitter in the sun's light, bright and unblinking, prompting him to swallow...defeated.
Ethan grumbles, concedes and sits beside Kristina wordlessly. He doesn't look directly at her although he can see her smile in his peripheral and can hear it in her 'thank you.'
The silence that stretches between them is awkward. The only noises made are her manicured nails tapping against the bench and the scratch of his jeans--the result of his restless legs. After a while, it becomes too much and figuring he should be the mature one, Ethan clears his throat before asking, "How are you?" A common icebreaker that has yet to fail for him.
It takes her a moment but Kristina replies with, "I think—I think that I'm somewhere between okay and fine." She nods, "Right smack in the middle of normal."
He laughs softly, faces her with the tilt of his head, "First time I've heard that one."
"It's how I feel. What about you?"
"Middle of normal sounds a bit right." Regarding her cautiously, he continues, "Kiefer's sentencing was today."
It's stupid because he's pretty sure that they're both aware of this fact but it was bound to come up sometime and he'd rather get it out of the way, bulldoze through the bullshit. He immediately regrets this when she fidgets at the mention of the name. "Shit, I'm sorry, Kristina. Listen, we'll talk about something else."
Her hand finds his knee, gathering his attention quickly. Ethan's gaze drops to see how small and delicate it looks on the denim before he glances back at her eyes. There Kristina stares at him with a serious expression, with a maturity he's never seen on her. "I really don't wanted to be babied, Ethan. Everyone has been treating me like some china doll since this happened, stepping around eggshells. You've never been that way with me so do me a favor and don't start now."
"I don't want to bring you any pain by talking about it."
"So why'd you bring it up?"
"Apparently, I'm a fucking idiot."
Kristina withdraws her hand, Ethan ignores the cold feeling that lingers afterward. "You're not an idiot. I don't know…maybe I'm assuming too much but I think that you want to cross this bridge as badly as I do. It's why you didn't go running right back up those stairs."
And how she's able to see that much of him is beyond Ethan and something that he'll probably never understand. Ever since he's known her, he's tried to use reason and logic where Kristina is concerned and now he's starting to learn that it's just not going to work. Despite what he feels, this girl—scratch that—this young woman knows him and is privy to all of his truths. She has the ability to expose his vulnerabilities and peel back his layers. It's a weird twist of fate but it's also a fact of his life. She's ignoring one thing though, "We can't get back to where we were, Kristina."
She shrugs simply and it causes a ping in his chest, one of those hurts he hasn't felt from anyone is a long time. "I don't want to."
He searches her face, attempts to figure out the angle that she's using but he sees no deception, just blank honesty."What do you want then?"
"To say I'm sorry." Her voices catches and breaks so painfully around the last word that Ethan feels as though he should be prepared for her fall.
Ethan opens his mouth to say something but he can't decide on what he wants to tell her. There's a part of him that wants to be noble and say that she doesn't have to apologize, that it's okay but there's also a part of him, an overwhelming and determined side, that needs to hear this, needs to understand how she could tear his life apart so easily. The latter wins over and Ethan nods, giving Kristina the chance to repent.
She combs her hand through her hair nervously, gives herself time to gain some composure. "I was wrong for accusing you, Ethan. I was so incredibly wrong. I was scared," for a moment she looks disgusted, "I was scared for Kiefer because I knew what my father would do to him if he knew."
He can't help himself when he sarcastically comments, "So it's me you throw to the wolves?"
"I was angry with you. God, I know it's not an excuse and it's petty and bitter and immature but I was so upset with you for rejecting me and humiliating me on the Haunted Star."
"Payback then?" He shakes his head disbelieving, reconsidering his idea to listen to her. "How could you do something so stupid and irrational, Kristina? You decide to get back at me like that? Your father's fucking Sonny Corinthos!"
"I know that and I regret what I did," Kristina stops when she catches the look on his face, "I do, Ethan. Whether you choose to believe it or not. I would take it all back. I'm sorry for the hell that I put you through. Yes, a part of me wanted to hurt you the way that you hurt me--"
"Oh, sweetheart, it doesn't even begin to compare."
Kristina purses her lips together in a hard line, agrees, "You're right. It doesn't and I wish that I would have handled it better. Ethan, I said your name because you were at the front of my mind. I was upset with you but some crazy voice inside of my head also rationalized that my father wouldn't hurt Luke Spencer's son. And it was stupid and I will always feel stupid for wanting to protect Kiefer by blaming you instead. I'll always feel stupid for throwing away my one true friend. I just—all I ever wanted was for you to feel what I felt for you." Her voice gets softer and becomes more fragile as she goes to whisper, "I'm so sorry, Ethan."
And he recognizes the feeling of his heart breaking for her, he recognizes everything he's felt in the past few months coming to surface. His accent is thick and filled with emotion as he argues earnestly, "I would never do that to you. Never in a million years would I lay a hand on you. I would never intentionally harm you. Kristina, that much, dammit, that much you knew."
"I know."
"The thought of what he did to you makes me sick."
"I know."
"And the fact that you could say that I did that to you kills me."
"I'm sorry."
"That's what hurt me most." He's careful as he raises his hand to her face, cups her cheek and jaw in his larger hand. Ethan locks his eyes to hers and gently thumbs her smooth skin, wipes away tears that had started to spill. It's not a sensual touch but it's sweet and beautiful. "That you would paint me with a crime like that. I don't doubt that you're sorry but I don't know that I can ever forgive you."
"Ethan," she sobs lightly, fitting her hand over his own.
He brings his free hand to frame the other side of her face, "I didn't want to admit it then but I felt something for you and God help me, I still do. I still care about you and I'll always be there when you need me. Baby, I'd protect you against anything. I would."
Her eyes widen considerably and she gasps lightly at the revelation. Ethan tastes the salt of his own tears as he presses a kiss to her forehead. He speaks something unintelligible there before pulling back to say, "But I can't trust you to be there for me."
The End
