Jess downed a large gulp of pink wine, unable to focus on the conversation. She had ended up in a club with Cece and one of her model friends with the excuse of celebrating her best friend's engagement, but really just needing an escape from the loft, and from her thoughts, the thoughts that just kept returning to a mouth, hands, the smell of Old Spice… But she was in no mood to shout above the music, especially not to make small talk with a girl who thought she was a cartoon mouse. Jess knew Cece could tell she was upset, but she didn't have the energy to hear her best friend's sympathetic words right now. She just wanted a distraction.

And then one appeared.

Two tall, muscular men seemed to materialise out of nowhere, and Nadia clapped excitedly at the sight of them.

"You are here, you buy us shots now!" she exclaimed bluntly, as the guys greeted her and Cece. Jess looked questioningly at her friend.

"Jess, this is Jason and Mario, we've all worked together on some shoots," Cece explained. "This is Jess, my best friend."

"Enchanté, kind sirs!" Jess slurred in a half French, half British voice. Jason, the taller of the two, raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. "Nice to meet you, Jess", he drawled.

Cece sighed heavily. Nadia and Mario now seemed to be having a competition to see who could get their tongue further into the others mouth. "Jess, Shevrang's coming to pick us up in a few minutes, you ready to go?"

Jess hesitated. She didn't want to go home. She was drunk, and she was twirly, and returning to the loft where the mouth that was torturing her mind would be stubbornly remaining shut on the subject any kind of feelings made her stomach churn unpleasantly. "Can't we just have one more drink, Cece? I'm not ready to switch off the old dancing switch just yet, I'm off the grid right now, bitch!" Cece opened her mouth to argue, but was cut off.

"Why don't I buy you a drink, babe? You can keep me company so I'm not the third wheel with these two," Jason suggested huskily, indicating his friend and Nadia, who looked like they'd be leaving themselves before long. Jess hesitated. Jason was clearly attractive – he was a model, for god's sake! – and he seemed to be.. flirting with her? She couldn't help wondering if maybe a good twirling would get a certain roommate out of her system…

"No, come on, Jess, we agreed I was giving you a ride home tonight, and besides we've got plans tomorrow, remember, the dress fittings? I don't want you hungover!" Cece narrowed her eyes at Jason while tugging at her friend's arm. Jess sighed, trying to clear her head and make a decision. She knew she couldn't argue with Cece, and smiled apologetically at Jason. The room was getting pretty fuzzy anyway, and she bobbed her head at Cece, quickly picking up her glass of pink wine to finish it. "Okayyy, Cece, I suppose we can go", she whined reluctantly. Jason grinned again, and placed a hand on her arm. "Okay, but give me your number. I'd love to grab that drink with you some other time." His dark eyes were boring into hers, his grip firm, almost possessive, on her bicep. Jess nearly choked on the last of her wine, taken aback. She could see Cece's raised eyebrows in the corner of her eye. "Um, eh, okay, sure, you betcha, matey!" she spluttered, uncertainly. He slowly released her arm, still smiling, and reached into his pocket to hand her his phone. Jess giggled nervously as she entered her number into his phone and passed it back to him.

"Okay, come on, Jess, Shevrang's calling me, he's outside", Cece snapped, impatient, pulling Jess insistently towards the exit. "Bye, Nadia, try not to break any more penises!" she called, irritated, to her Russian friend, who was too distracted to pay any attention.

"See you soon, Jess," Jason promised, as Jess stumbled after Cece towards the exit, waving goodbye.


"Jess, what are you doing?"

Jess snapped out of a daze, seeing Cece looking round at her questioningly from the front seat of Shevrang's car.

"I'm letting the alcohol goblins do a dance in my stomach", Jess answered in her singsong voice, giggling to herself as she tried to focus on her friend.

"No, I mean, why are you giving your number to Matt? You hate models!"

Oh. Jess twisted her hands under her legs, squirming under Cece's gaze. Why did her friend always have to know when something was up?

"Cece, I can't keep thinking about him. Him and his stupid mouth! He's never going to talk to me about it, he's never going to say how he feels. Never, ever, ever," she sang the last bit, sadly, Taylor Swift style.

Cece sighed. "I know, Jess. You need someone more mature, someone ready for something real, and okay, I suppose Matt seems like an alright guy, but are you sure all this, going out, getting drunk, giving out your number, is the best way to move on?"

"There's nothing to move on FROM, Cece! My roommate kissed me, my doctor boyfriend dumped me, and now I'm single and ready to mingleee!" Jess cried, the conversation starting to make her feel sick. "Look, I just need some distraction right now, okay? All I need is pink wine, a nice dinner, some p-bomb on ma v-bomb and I'll be fine!"

Cece stared at her for a few more moments, then turned back round and sat back in her seat. "Okay, Jess. Just be careful, won't you?"

"Mmhmm", Jess murmured, resting her head on the car window, her thoughts turning to the loft and wondering who would still be up.


She fiddled with the key in the lock for a couple of minutes before finally fitting it in and turning it slowly, trying to be as silent as possible. Easing open the door, she squeezed through and quietly pushed it shut. The loft was dark, and she released the breath she hadn't even realised she was holding, beginning to tiptoe towards her room.

She was two feet from her bedroom door, in that exact spot, that hallway, the scene of the crime, when she heard movement behind her.

"Jess?"

Noooo. Damn it. So close.

She tried to spin around, waving her arms in an attempt at jazz hands, but the alcohol sent her stumbling forward, limbs flailing as she shrieked, the floor seemingly rushing upwards towards her face. And then, after a split second of panic, she felt strong hands grip her sides, pulling her back up, and her outstretched arms automatically curled forwards to reach up around a neck. His neck.

And there they were again.

"Jess, how much have you had to drink?"

She mumbled, incoherently, unable to think or speak with Nick Miller holding her waist. She could feel his eyes burning into her face and desperately tried to look down, pulling her hands down from the back of his neck to rest against his chest.

"Jess, talk to me." His voice, grumpy with tiredness before, seemed to have taken on a worried edge now. Or was she just imagining it? If he cared, why wouldn't he come out and say it?

"I'm fine, Millerrrr, just a little topsy turvy," she slurred, her swaying body betraying her drunken state.

"Okay, Jess, we need to get you some water and get you into bed." Nick moved his hands up from her sides, placing one on her back to steady her whilst hesitantly turning her face to meet his with the other. "Alright?"

Jess finally met his eyes, and couldn't help inhaling sharply, wobbling even more. She looked at his mouth, and at his eyes, and at his mouth again, and felt herself choking down a sob. She met his eyes again, and realised he was waiting for her to answer a question.

"S-sorry, what, erm, what?" she mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut in the vain hope that it would block out the situation.

"Just come on, Jess, let me help you," Nick said softly, finally moving his hand away from her face to her shoulder, and steering her gently towards her bedroom. Jess stumbled in front of him, his hands guiding her shoulders, exhaling a sigh of relief to be leaving the hallway where kisses happened and feelings exploded.

Sinking slowly onto her bed, she felt hands easing her shoes off her feet. Did she imagine it or did the hands linger a little too long on her ankles? She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again to see Nick looking up at her, his face soft and caring.

"Don't look at me like that."

"What?" Nick sounded confused.

"You're meant to be mean, Nicholas. Don't be nice to me, I know I'm just your annoying, know it all roommate."

She closed her eyes again and rolled onto her bed, away from him, tears pooling behind her eyelids. It was too much, seeing him look at her in that way, having him look after her. It just reminded her of what she couldn't ever really have. She heard him sigh, that Nick Miller sigh that drove her crazy, stand up, and leave the room. Keeping her eyes screwed shut, the tears finally began to leak out from beneath her eyelids, the emotions she had been fighting so hard to escape from all night silently pushing their way out.

For the next ten minutes, she laid there like that, unmoving, tears slowly trickling down her cheeks, eyes closed to the world, waiting for unconsciousness to arrive.

"Jess?"

On the edge of sleep, she thought she heard his voice whisper her name. Floorboards creaked, and footsteps came to a stop next to her bed, and the chink of glass told her a drink of water had been placed on her bedside table.

And then there was that Nick Miller sigh again. A large, rough hand gently touched her hair for a moment, a thumb wiped her damp cheek, and she nearly stopped breathing. But too soon, the hand was gone, and a blanket was being placed over her, and the room was still again, and her mind finally went blissfully blank.