Carry On Baby
My life changed that day; not for the better devastatingly the worse. Though something perfect, angelic arose from that disastrous imperfection. No one knows though, no one ever will-but only if I can keep my secret locked in a box. Bottled up, away from everything. Until that day I was loved by everyone, then I turned into a witch with a glaciated soul, no one knew, no one cared. All I allow myself to remember from that day was black hood-creating a hole to swallow my life- with a silver sheath tearing me to shreds.
Innocently, walking home, minding my own business, when this shuffling to the right was heard. Instantly, I felt my skin ripping, I couldn't scream whether I liked it or not, my throat was closed -not a sound escaped- I was dragged to the dark crevice, beaten and broken, I was still myself- not anymore though. I was abused, used, the one part of myself I never had to give was forcefully snatched from me; against my will.
13. That's how old I was when it happened. My life ended as soon as it started. It changed, I changed. When I tried to pick myself up, attempting to drag myself somewhere- I couldn't move a muscle. Depression. Dark. Empty. Silence. Everywhere. All the time. Nothing stayed in me- it left as soon as the door locked- never to be open. Every now and then I tried to convince myself ;it wasn't my life; it wasn't me; it never worked because I remember the words- the words he used. Unclean. Useless. Ugly. Unloved. All of those words, branded on me from that moment- that's what I was- all I deserved to be.
Mother hated me. Father forgot me. Brother left me. All because of him- I was left alone, all alone. Scared. Lost. Confused. My face remained emotionless. Before then I was never afraid- but now- even my own room frightens me. Why did it happen to me? I thought I was a good person, but no- that's not how life works. Anything can happen. Anything can happen to anyone. We have a choice to live in darkness and fear or to embrace life with open arms. I made the wrong choice- I chose fear and darkness. That didn't help.
During the first few days after the incident, when the word was travelling around- I needed to ensure he left my life, locked away like my secret- he was. When people saw me, they looked into my dark haunted orbs, bearing the key to my soul, just for confirmation. It was all too much, all the bodies. Claustrophobia. I felt the same substance rise up, knowing what was going to happen. I left. All too quick. Expelled from school. Chucked out my house. Nothing went my way, but I carried on, I had to.
Sucking up what little confidence I had, three years later- I opened the lid. I unleashed my trauma and shared my story. All because I listened, I listened to a song. I began again. After all those years of praying for a way out, when the door opened, I jumped through. My exit wasn't what I wanted or thought it would be- it was so much better. From that experience, I believed in God, he helped me more than anyone else did- through my trauma- so I put my faith in him.
When you are responsible for someone else, you put your emotions aside- that's what I did, for my beautiful baby girl, Amelia. Completed, back on track, I carried on. I voiced my opinions, made myself heard. Unlocked the box and waved my secret, in the air. I made people aware, I helped others and that's what matters the most, to ensure that no one else had to feel my pain. As they say: "The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did." That is how I felt, that is why I did what I did.
No longer am I a witch. I have loved. I have been loved. I have shown love- even in the hardest of times. My life changed that day; so did everyone else's. No one deserved to feel pain. Not even him.
Author's Note: That was a story I submitted for an exam, I would be really pleased if those who read it reviewed. I am open to criticism, I will not be offended. ALSO PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU THINK I NEED TO RAISE THE RATING FOR ANY REASON. There are not characters in this bit, I haven't named names, yet.
Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious characters, story line, setting etc.
