To be perfectly honest, Kurt was really happy that Rachel had finished with his yearbook earlier than agreed upon. For a split second he had felt guilty about not being able to return hers at the same time, especially after reading her heartfelt words written in with the signature gold Sharpie in the distinctive curly cursive. The guilt vanished quickly however when his eyes fell on a boy wearing tight jeans, suspenders, and a boy tie waiting for him at the end of the day because now it was his turn. Kurt clutched his yearbook tightly to his chest and made his way through the crowded hallway to his boyfriend, a shy smile gracing his face as he reached the boy in question.
"What?" Blaine asked with an amused grin. Kurt played with the book in his hands drawing the other boy's eyes towards it.
"Rachel's done so you're the only one left," he replied, his grin widening when Blaine smile excitedly back.
"Yay! I was hoping she wouldn't take too long because I need all the time I can get," Blaine joked as he took the book from Kurt's hands. "Did you save me my page?"
"Of course. Everyone was given the most strictest of orders."
It was another three days, on the last day of school, before Blaine had finished with it. He had asked Kurt to meet him at school early that day while doing their skin care routine over the phone the night before. Kurt did as requested, a little confused about the early hour but nonetheless, he entered the deserted building to the wonderful sight of his boyfriend sitting in front of his locker, an anxious look on his face as he clutched the book tightly to him. There were two coffees sitting delicately beside him and Kurt could see from where he stood at the entrance that his had a note scrawled across it, as it always did.
"Hey," he greeted with a wide grin as he approached and took a seat beside Blaine.
"Good morning," the other replied with a light peck to his cheek while handing Kurt his coffee. He leaned into the kiss, letting Blaine nuzzle his cheek while he read the note on the disposable, Lima Bean cup: 'I'm sorry to say but I think I'm out of words at the moment. Your coffee messages will resume next time.' Kurt laughed lightly to himself before taking a sip of the deliciously warm liquid.
"I think this is my favorite so far. It's so poetic," he teased.
"Shut-up," Blaine responded with a chuckle handing him the yearbook. "Your real note's in here." Kurt eagerly turned to Blaine's designated page, glancing every so often to the boy watching him with an intense excitement mixed with nerves. When Kurt finally managed to flip through to the correct page his heart immediately filled with warmth and joy from what he saw. The page was completely filled; the neat black print covered every inch of space except for the corners which had doodles in them. There were two coffee cups in the top left corner, one had a scribble across it made to look like a note. A warbler flew free of his cage, a navy and red striped bowtie around his neck in the top right corner. The bottom left contained a lion and a penguin snuggled up together and finally, the bottom right had several music notes and three pages of sheet music. Kurt could just make out the songs titles written at the top of each sheet: 'Teenage Dream', 'Blackbird', and 'Perfect'. Kurt simply stared at the little cartoons in awe for quite some time before taking in the message framed within them.
My Dearest Kurt,
I may have stolen that opening from Noah Calhoun (you've made me watch that movie so many times that I could not think of anything else) but I do mean that when I say it. You are the single person I hold dearest to my heart. No one has ever come as close as you or held the importance and impact that you do. There are times where it aches so strongly for you or beats so fast that I can't help but think that it is no longer mine. It may reside in my chest but KK, my heart belongs to you. It is terrifying at times and thrilling at others but mostly it just is.
The ease and simplicity and clarity of our love amazes me because how could something so all-consuming and powerful stem from being huddled together while watching a movie, or playing footsy under the table at the Lima Bean while drinking coffee? I guess it can though. The shake in my hand, the slight sweat on my brow, my ragged breathing, and the pounding in my chest as I currently write this, are proof of this phenomenon and I cannot thank you enough for showing this to me.
I had lost my faith in love before I met you. I had seen Hell and back and Dalton restored a lot of what I had lost along the way but you and you alone allowed me to open my heart and really feel again. You did it from the moment I saw your crystal blue eyes on the stairs that day and watched in amazement how they faded from turquoise to indigo and gray throughout our conversation. It was breath taking and I simply could not look away (even if that meant being a little forwards considering some of the lyrics to that song).
I have heard you refer to those following four months as 'when we were just friends'. I've done it myself as well but the implication of this phrase is such an injustice to reality. There was nothing 'just' about our friendship. I considered you my best friend within two weeks of meeting you. We became that close in such a short amount of time that there is no doubt in my mind that we were meant to be and those four, long months were simply how long it took for to show me and for me to realize that the connection I felt with you was one rooted in that love I had lost faith in.
I thank you each and every day for not giving up on me. I know I gave you plenty of chances but you were always there for me and because of this you have given me so much. You gave me the magic that is a first love at a young age, someone to dote on and care about more than I have ever cared about myself. You've given me the ability to lose my mind, my worries, my stress, myself in not only your touch and kiss but also in your beautifully, adorably, angelic soul and to picture a happy future after this crazy journey that is high school has finished. I hope beyond anything that my vision of the future together, with you, comes true. I have faith that it will because I know that you are not 'just' my first love but my one and only, pure and honest and true love.
I bid you good luck now (Not goodbye! See, I remembered!) as we part for the next year, wishing you the best and sending you all my love as you begin that future on your own. Embrace the city and its opportunity. Find the part of it meant for you and dive in. Do not forget about the part meant for us though, the coffee shops, the parks, all the hidden places, tucked away from the scary world. Find them and save them and show them to me next year. You are the smartest, strongest and bravest person I have ever met and so I know you can do this, KK. I will be you biggest cheerleader (speaking of which, I can't believe you're leaving McKinley before I ever got to see you in that Cheerios uniform in person) from back here in Ohio and in a year's time, I will continue to be your biggest cheerleader but from wrapped tightly in your arms in New York instead.
With love and affection,
Yours forever,
Blaine
There were tears in his when he finished. His vision was so blurry that he could hardly make out the words at that point. Kurt turned to the boy sitting cross legged next to him, holding his medium drip with a shy smile on his face. He started to speak but could not find the words. Blaine did not seem to mind though as he silently reached up to wipe the tears away with his thumb. As the hand retreated once his cheeks were dry again, Kurt grabbed it and interlaced their fingers, pulling slightly to bring Blaine closer so he could place a soft kiss on his lips. He was so glad Blaine had him come to school before everyone else because he needed this kiss, the gentle press of the plump, pink skin that tasted of coffee and toothpaste and Blaine made those incredible words and that incredible boy real and tangible and his, his for whatever the future may bring.
