I own none of Star Trek. Not the reboot, or any of the series. Oh well.

Yes, I'm writing for Star Trek, and amazingly, it isn't Sulu/Chekov. Written because I wondered about these two for about 10 seconds while watching the movie, as well as the plot bunny about Orion pheromones that refused to leave my head. Title is from the REM song of the same name I was listening to at the time, mostly because I couldn't decide on a single lyric that worked best.

I would like to add that these two are the Star Trek version of Gelphie in my head.


Imitation of Life

"Hey Nyny!" Uhura glanced up from the notes she had been reviewing just in time to see her green-skinned roommate bouncing through the door, a bright smile on her face.

Uhura sighed and put down her PADD, turning around to face the other girl. "Hey, Gaila. What's up?"

It wasn't that she disliked Gaila. But there were certain… disadvantages to having the Orion as a roommate.

For one thing, the green-skinned girl was perky. Of course, Uhura had to admit, that was just as likely to be due to Gaila's personality as it was to her species. Perkiness however, was the least of Uhura's problems. At least this time, Gaila was alone.

As much as Uhura tried to remind herself that it wasn't Gaila's fault that men were irresistibly attracted to the Orion, it was quite trying to be constantly forced to leave the room whenever Gaila brought back another of her "boyfriends" or return to find herself locked out of the room—or worse, when Gaila forgot to lock the door.

But that wasn't the worst part. If the Orion pheremones had only affected their classmates, Uhura could probably have managed with that. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case; Uhura was slowly being forced to admit that even she was not immune to Gaila's "charm." Things had been normal, or at least as normal as Uhura felt they could be, for several months before the dreams had started. Things had only gone downhill from there, and by now Uhura found herself struggling more and more to avoid doing something she would regret.

"…so then I leaned in to kiss him and he pulled away! Like, he wasn't even expecting it! I was all, 'Wha?' and who wouldn't? He's got to be gay or something, don't you think, Nyny?"

Having no clue just what or who Gaila was talking about, all Uhura could do was nod and emit a strangled noise that sounded something like "Mmmglplth."

Gaila crossed her arms and studied her roommate. "You weren't listening to a word I said, were you, Nyny?" she said, and for a second Uhura could only feel intensely guilty for being distracted. Then Gaila got a mischevious grin on her face, and leaned in closer.

"Oooh, you were thinking about someone, weren't you?" The linguist flushed at her roommate's comment, and Gaila noticed immediately. "You were! Oooh, Nyny, who was it? I bet it was Spock, wasn't it? I just knew you had a crush on him!"

Uhura wanted to lie, but her mouth betrayed her before she had the chance. "N-n-no…" she stammered, reflexively leaning away from the Orion's face.

For a second, Gaila was stunned into silence, slack-jawed, her lips slightly parted, and Uhura mentally kicked herself at her own stupidity, and then again a second later for her inappropriate thoughts. Gaila recovered quickly however, if still somewhat confused. "You weren't?" Realizing there was no going back now, Uhura shook her head. Gaila paused again before her grin reappeared. "But you were thinking about someone, I know it! Tell me, Nyny! Who?"

When Uhura refused to respond, Gaila scowled for a second before suddenly dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"Gaila, what is it?" Uhura was confused and somewhat worried by her roommate's sudden hysterics.

After a few seconds, Gaila had recovered enough to choke out one word, "Kirk!" before dissolving into laughter again.

"Ew, no!" Uhura shrieked, with an accompanying look of disgust that only made Gaila laugh harder.

Gaila kept going, her guesses getting wilder and wilder as time went by. "No, no, and no, Gaila! Riley's all right I suppose, but I barely know him! Olson's just nuts. And Chekov? You mean the skinny Russian kid? Isn't he like 14 or something?"

"17, I think," Gaila said absently. She was silent, and Uhura wondered—no hoped—that the Orion was giving up. She had started to rise, had opened her mouth, was about to excuse herself to go to the library, when Gaila cut her off: "Yeoman Tigan."

Uhura froze. "Yeoman Tigan? The dark haired, quiet girl in Engineering?" Gaila nodded. "W-why are you asking?" Uhura finished shakily.

"One, I've gone through all the attractive guys at Starfleet and quite a few of the unattractive ones, and you've said no to them all," Gaila said, ticking the points off on her fingers as she said them. "Two, she kissed me once, so you've got at least half a chance there, three—"

"Wait," Uhura cut her off, staring at Gaila in shock. "She kissed you?"

"Yeah, in the computer lab," Gaila replied. "It wasn't half bad really… is this making you uncomfortable?"

"What? No! Ye—maybe a little." Uhura was blushing furiously now, praying to every god she had heard of that Gaila wouldn't notice, wouldn't catch on.

She did. Tilting her head, she studied Uhura. "You do like her…" she murmured. Tilting her head the other way, she held up a hand. "Wait, no… you don't like her." Gaila grinned slowly, mischievously. "You like me."

If it had been possible, Uhura would have blushed even harder. Stammering apologies, she began to back away. "I'm sorry, r-r-really, I am, I-I-I'll just—"

"Silly Nyny," Gaila said, accompanying her words with a breathy sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. Before Uhura could wrap her mind around what Gaila was saying, let alone attempt a reply, the Orion had leaned forward, pulling Uhura towards her to meet in the middle.

* * * * *

About twenty minutes later, they finally broke apart, and Uhura leaned her head against Gaila's chest, breathing heavily. A small smile crept across her face.

Having an Orion for a roommate could be trying sometimes, but it did have its advantages.


Some notes:

Uhura's nickname is pronounced knee-knee.

Riley is a recurring TOS character, and Olson is the random redshirt from the parachute scene.

Internet cookies to the first person who guesses where the Yeoman's name came from.