i.

Katniss.

Katniss always has known that there's something different about Peeta Mellark. Though surrounded with the popular, pampered groups of guys and (especially) girls, he's never seemed like any of them. While he has eyes that are gentle and bright, the others are narrow and sly. Untrustworthy.

For the years, she's silently watched him grow and it seems he has yet to glance her way. And she asks herself, what's to notice?

Compared to many girls, Katniss can easily say she is quite plain and ordinary. She is nothing like the busty cheerleaders and she doesn't consider herself to be pretty enough to one of the prettier nerd girls like Annie, who just happens to be the girlfriend of Peeta's best friend, Finnick Odair. And though she can't completely identify with the only people she can possibly think of placing in the category of 'friends', Johanna and Cressida's punk rock style, she has to admit, is a personal preference but on the simpler side of the look like black jeans or long, well-worn flannels. She especially likes the ones that are too big.

And that's exactly what she's wearing when he stoops to the floor right along with her after being purposefully knocked into before being called an emo freak under another girl's breath. But, Katniss pretends to not hear the girl's gibe, nor does she register that someone is actually helping her pick up her things before some of it manages to get crushed under uncaring shoes of the world of careless teens surrounding her. However, she recognizes his voice without a doubt, for not another could sound more like sweet honey than his.

"Are you okay, Katniss?" He asks after telling someone to get off one of Katniss' stray papers and continues to gather more scattered papers that litter the cold, white floor. Since when does he know her name?

Whipping her head around to face him, she's met with those big, blue eyes that she is just now realizing how insanely blue they really are up close. Very, very up close. When she registers that he's waiting for her to either confirm or deny her state of wellbeing, she somehow manages a practically inaudible I'm fine, before quickly looking away from the pairs of sapphires that Peeta Mellark apparently wears as eyes. She looks away as soon as the words barely leave her mouth and hastily stuffs askew papers and books into her sad, floppy, army-green messenger bag and makes a move to stand to her feet only to realize that Peeta has offered her his hand in assistance. She doesn't take it and instead she pulls on one of her infamous scowls; but he's not fazed by her narrowed eyes or the cold facade that everyone sees.

Once she's back on her feet, she consciously tugs on the oversized sleeves of her green and black button up plaid shirt her eyes flit across his form which she can now see at a much better angle.

It is well known that at Panem High that the Mellark brothers all come with broad shoulders and arms thickened with hard-earned muscle from the athletics that they participate in, the manual labor of bakery, and probably more. Peeta's fair skin stands out against the dark blue shirt and seems to stretch across his chest just enough to subtly show off the sculpted chest that lies beneath. His black, maroon, and white varsity jacket that he sports practically all the time, drapes over his shoulders and bunches just a little at his wrists. Her eyes travel north and note the defined line of his jaw and the slight arch of his cheekbones along with the infamous, golden curls that all Mellark boys have known to harbor at some stage in their life. Peeta's just seem to want to remain as wavy as they were when he was a little boy. And secretly, Katniss hopes they stay that way. The lopsided grin that grazes his lips just gives her a glimpse of his pearly white teeth and she wonders for an instant how they can be that white. It's almost blinding and that's just a few of them.

"Katniss?" His voice sounds concerned but border lining amusement. She's been staring again, hasn't she?

Probably (no, definitely) blushing a furious shade of scarlet, Katniss tries to pathetically keep the heat from showing on her face, as she spots the remaining loose papers Peeta holds in his hand. To attempt to save a sliver of her dignity, she snatches the papers from his hand hastily, grumbles out what she hopes to be a something along the lines of a thank you and storms off in the opposite direction of Peeta Mellark with self-depreciating thoughts and frustrations with herself overtaking her mind so thickly that it's like she walks blindly through the crowd of people.

She walks so fast, she barely registers that she now stands beside her car that she parked this morning and the frustrating blush (that shouldn't even exist) has yet to leave her cheeks, neck, and shoulders. This is the effect Peeta has on her. And she often wonders why. Because she sure as hell doesn't know.

Katniss sighs into the cold, October air as she manually unlocks the car door before clicking the button on the inside of the driver's door and unlocking the rest of the car. When she tosses her bag into the back of the car, she hears ping sound come from her phone. Pulling out her phone, she sees it's a text from her sister and rolls her eyes.

Primrose: Getting a ride home with one of the girls. Don't wait up!

What looks like four or ten emojis follow after the text and Katniss lets out a sigh.

Could she say a more basic girl thing? Katniss wonders as she climbs into her old corolla. She cranks the engine and the car revs to life with a little bit of a stutter. Checking to confirm that a group of obnoxiously chatty and bubbly girls or cocky and arrogant guys are not in her way, Katniss slowly lifts her foot off the break and the car begins to roll backwards. After successfully pulling out of the space, she changes gears and begins to head down the pavement and toward another hell that awaits her after this hell. As she nears the exit, she spots a familiar sight of golden waves just up ahead. She notices he's looking down at his car as if something is wrong.

When she pulls up closer, she guesses she should try to make amends for her coldness earlier. He was only trying to help after all. After having a good three minute battle with herself, she decides that she might and probably should ask if anything is wrong. So before she can talk herself out of it, she stops next to his car and rolls down her window to peer out at him.

"Peeta?" Her voice comes out embarrassingly shy. But she doesn't sound too hostile which is positive thing she guesses. Still, damn her lack in social situations.

When he turns his head around, it almost seems like his face lights up even if he was scowling (admittedly, pretty adorably) just moments ago. This time, Katniss is met with the full glow of Peeta Mellark's smile as her shoves his hands into his front pockets and comes over to her car. Which he seems to tower over, by the way. He bends down to meet her eye level and she vaguely flushes at how close he is to her. Again.

"Hello again, Katniss." He greets with a casual, but teasing manner.

For a moment, she thinks of how she should word her sentence so she doesn't completely flop up and say a mesh of words that just fall out of her mouth like word vomit. "Car trouble?"

He gives a half-hearted, short laugh that seems almost humorless. "Something like that." He mutters.

She nods her head in sympathy as she purses her lips together and begins to tap her fingers against the steering wheel in her car nervously. "What's wrong?" She asks lamely.

"I...um, have a flat tire." He shrugs like it's not a big deal as he exhales through his mouth and she can see his breath in the frosty air. She glances over his shoulder at the jet black Chevrolet Cruze that looks to be almost new.

"On a new car?" Katniss asks suspiciously without thinking. She slaps her hand over her mouth and her face once more becomes significantly redder.

But Peeta chuckles a little at her reaction and brushes it off. "It seems so. Besides, at least I wasn't driving when I realized that it was flat." He reasons positively.

She shrugs her shoulder in agreement. "I suppose you're right." Katniss relents. Before Katniss can lose her nerve or silently talk herself out of it, she blurts out another question. Well, more like screams it at his face. "Do you need a ride?" She asks far too loudly and inwardly cringes after she's done.

If it's humanly possible, this guy's smile gets even wider. Jesus Christ, whose smile can get that big without breaking? Katniss asks herself silently. But she doesn't have time to ponder it because he answering her.

"If it's not too much trouble, that'd be great. Sure as hell beats calling my mother and asking her to come pick me up. Which, she might not have even if I explained my situation. You know, with work and all." Peeta adds as an afterthought. And she knows the tone is supposed to be jovial and joking, but she somehow can't bring herself to think that he's not telling the truth about his mother. It's no secret around town that the Mellarks own a very successful and thriving string of bakeries across North America. And it's also no secret that the Mellark family is far more than well off financially.

"Sure, get in." She manages and offers him a ghost of a grin.

"Thanks a lot, Katniss. I owe you." He promises sincerely as he stands up straight once more and makes his way over to his own car. Normally, she doesn't trust people's promises. After hearing so many hallow vows, one tends to forgo the sincerity of any oath or promise. But, somehow, he's different. Something inside of her seems to whisper in her ear that he's… real.

Peeta opens the trunk to his car and bends over to retrieve his bag and what looks to be his sports bag as well. While he rummages through the contents in the back of his car, Katniss takes the time to admire his form from the back and watches as his back strains against the long-sleeved, navy shirt she saw earlier. Her eyes wander down to the dark jeans that hug his ass and make it look quite fantastic if she does say so herself. Instantly, she turns around and sets her eyes on the road ahead and her scowl returns with more vigor as she chides herself when she tries to fight off more heat that springs to her cheeks.

He opens the passenger's side and slips in after asking her what she wants him to do with his stuff and she tells him to put it in the back seat. She notes that one of the sleeves of his varsity jack is poking out of his unused athletic bag which suggests he may have shoved it into the bag in a hasty manner. With that settled, she finally takes her foot off the break and they pull out of the school's parking lot.

They drive along in somewhat awkward and somewhat comfortable silence. After what felt like five minutes, which was probably only like two, she decides to make an attempt to get rid of some of the awkward tension. "So, I'm assuming you didn't have practice today?" She both internally and externally cringes as soon as the words leave her mouth. Could she not have come up with something better to ask?

Peeta is silent for a moment and Katniss begins to vigorously chastise herself. Of course he doesn't want you talking to him. He's just trying to be nice and quiet because you decided that it was a good idea to offer him a ride home. Great job, brainless. She does not dare look at him.

"Coach gave us, probably the only the only time this will happen by the way, a day off from practice." Peeta explains as they drive along. "See, he co-owns this nice little diner not far from the school. And something must've really been pretty bad for his staff to call him and be him to come over during the time he's deemed 'sacred'." He adds air quotes around the word 'sacred' and her lips perk up ever so slightly at the gesture.

She'll have to see what happened during her next shift. Hopefully nothing too terrible for both her sake and her employer's. This new bit of information causes Katniss' stomach to begin twisting into all too familiar knots and she tries to subtly shift in her seat to hide from Peeta her abrupt change in behavior. Instead, she nods her own head and tells him that she hopes everything is okay with his coach's restaurant. And in return he nods his head as he thanks her and promises to let his coach know that she hopes everything turns out for the best. Which she does hope that everything will turn out for the best. Afterwards, a more compatible silence fills the car's atmosphere and she relaxes a little allowing her shoulders to slump forward a bit.

"Thanks again, Katniss. Really, I'll pay you back for the gas if you want." Peeta offers killing the quiet they once had.

She scowls at this. "I can pay for my own gas, Peeta." She knows it sounds harsh, but she's always been able to –had to work for the money she spends and she takes pride in that. Or she tries to.

"Katniss, I don't mean it in a pity-sort-of way." He clarifies as if he's read her mind. "I just mean it as a courtesy that I pay you back the money you have to use to get me home at an inconvenience."

After pondering his words for a little while, she attempts to crack a joke though she doesn't laugh much at it. "You sounded so formal."

And from the corner of her eye, she spots his blush that tints his cheeks.

"I, er, didn't mean to." He mumbles almost shyly.

She's about to retort when her car beeps at her and she realizes that she does, indeed, need gas for her car. "Um, we're going to have to stop by the gas station and, uh, get some gas." She finishes awkwardly.

He gives her a nod and reaches back for his backpack to probably retrieve his wallet.

"No," She protests as she places her small, cold hand on the forearm clad in soft, navy fabric. She then realizes that the soft fabric only enhances how well she can feel the hard muscle beneath it as she wills herself to not turn pink again. The first many times were humiliating enough even if he didn't catch her.

"Katniss,-"

She shakes her head. "We're not arguing about this. It's just gas, Peeta. Besides, if you want to repay me, just be better company than my sister."

It's supposed to be a joke, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't enjoying his company. But it's just a little. That's it.

"You've always been stubborn haven't you?" He teases.

How would you Quickly, Katniss pushes away any thoughts about Peeta actually paying attention to her before today. It's impossible.

She lets out a faint snort and allows the corners of her lips to slightly quirk up. "You have no idea." She mumbles mostly to herself but she doesn't know if he heard her. If he did, he doesn't come up with a quick or witty comment to retaliate with.

They pull up to a kind of rundown gas station that has been around for quite a while. It's always where she gets gas. When she pulls up to one of the pumps, she gets out of the car and steps into the cold weather once more.

"I'll be right back. I have to go pay inside. Try not to blow up my car while I'm gone, okay, Mellark?" She mumbles sarcastically.

"I'll do my best." Peeta retorts.

Katniss shuts the door to the car and makes her way into the little building. As usual, she pays the guy that always works there enough to fill her tank up. Just as she's about to walk away from the counter, she spots out of the corner of her eye a bright, silver packet with a blue logo. For a moment, she kind of blankly stars at the little packet of mini Yorks. She makes up her mind and snatches up the bag, hands over the money, and heads out the door.

Call her stalkerish, but she knows for a fact that every day at lunch, Peeta has a single York mint patty with his lunch. So she assumes they are his favorite. Once she's back out at the car she pockets the candy and begins the fill the car. As she waits, Katniss gets back into the car with Peeta to find him scrolling through her iPod with all her music on it. Upon being caught, his cheeks flame up once again against his fair skin.

"I-I'm sorry, Katniss. I thought you'd enjoy some music on the way to my place so you don't have to listen to my aimless chatter." He says sheepishly as he rubs the back of his neck in a nervous manner. She didn't think Peeta got nervous. Especially around someone as unimportant as her.

But she doesn't say a word about it. Instead, she whips out the pack of York mint patties and tosses them into his lap.

The shock if obvious on his face. "How did you-"

Before he can even finish his question, her sensitive ears hear the pump come to a stop. She unceremoniously kicks open the door and practically falls out of the car with the grace of a panda. On ice. And wearing roller skates instead of ice skates.

Eventually, she knows she can't stay outside forever and soon she's going to have to face the music. And the fact that she just did something completely out of her element doesn't boost her confidence at all. When she finally womans up, she gets back into her car and starts the engine. This time with her music playing.

For a while that's all she hears. Just her music, her sanity, her safe haven.

But eventually, he calmly shuts the music off and she realizes she's just been driving for the last couple songs in no particular direction.

His voice is like daggers to her heart and she feels very, very humiliated. "How did you know that I really, really like these?" He inquires in a scarily calm tone.

She's quiet for a moment before she replies in a low voice, "You eat one every day at the end of your lunch." She mumbles with her eyes on the road, but she can feel his gaze boring into the side of her head with those intense, blue eyes.

But she leaves it at that.

"Thank you, Katniss. It means a lot to me."

She can practically hear the smile in his voice. Neither of them speak for the rest of the time that it takes them to get to Peeta's house except for when he told her to turn here and there. And when they arrive, she kills the engine and unlocks the car to let him out. He still holds the York in his hand in a way she can only describe as delicate. As if he's afraid that it may disappear at any time. He's outside of her car and she expects him to head up to his luxurious and beautiful home and leave her alone.

But he plops his bag down on the pavement outside of the tall, intimidating, iron gates and makes his way around the car and bends down by the driver's side exactly like he did earlier today. And like earlier today, she rolls down her window to peer out at him.

"Katniss…" He trails off as if he's trying to find the right words to say. Which she finds kind of strange. Peeta has always been known to have a silver tongue. Able to smoothly talk his way in or out of any conversation. And she doesn't know whether it's a good or bad thing that Peeta falters with his words around her. "Damn, I feel like I've said the same thing over and over again." He mumbles almost embarrassingly as he lets out a humorless chuckle.

Her shoulders shrug indifferently. "That's okay." She reassures. "I normally don't say anything at all."

Peeta's full lips spread into a sweet smile and she can't help but offer the smallest grin in return. "Thanks a ton, Katniss. I don't know what I'd done if you hadn't offered to give me a ride."

"I think it's only fair that since you helped pick up my shit in the hallway that I give you a lift home." Katniss reasons.

"I'm sure anyone else would have done the same." Peeta says.

Katniss shakes her head. "You're…You're the first of none." She mutters bitterly.

Peeta's face twists into what can only be described as shock and maybe…anger. "What?"

She sighs and looks down at her hands that sit tightly clasped in her lap. "No one ever helps me out. And that's whatever. I'm used to it. No one wants to be seen with a freak, Peeta, so I won't expect you to do it again."

Fuck, just when I thought this entire debacle was going in a positive direction, I open my pessimistic mouth and says this shit. Katniss internally chastises.

"What do you mean, you're used to it?" He asks with what she can only describe as an angry tremble in his voice. And she doesn't understand why he's getting so worked up about it. She's dealt with it since the middle of freshman year when a ton of shit went down along with it. What's one more time? She probably deserves it anyways.

"It doesn't matter, Peeta." She mumbles, brushing him off. Her hands return shakily to the steering wheel. "I've dealt with it for years. Don't think too hard on it." She means for it to be a cynical and sarcastic joke, but his tensed expression and clenched jaw suggests he took it otherwise.

"I'm s–"

"Don't tell me you're sorry." She snaps quickly. "I probably deserve it anyway. So it's suck it up and take it, right?"

He fixates her with a piercing stare that cuts her straight to the core and when he opens his mouth to speak again, his voice is low and almost…menacing. "Katniss, you shouldn't be treated like that and you shouldn't feel like you deserve it. No one should, but especially not you."

Katniss hears herself scoff.

"Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?" She asks rhetorically with a humorless chuckle. "Peeta, we haven't ever spoken a single word to each other until today. What makes you think you know I don't deserve hell? The answer is you don't." Katniss let's out a huff, and she realizes that as this conversation goes on, she's most likely driving him further and further away from her. Good, Katniss thinks to herself. I'll just ruin his life like I've ruined others. "Look, people just don't care about someone like me. And that's fine. I don't care."

And as much as she tells herself that it's the truth, a small part of her knows she's lying. Admittedly, she's always had Johanna and Cressida, but even when it's just the three of them doing something together, she can't help but feel…

"Katniss, I care about you." Peeta retorts.

She grits her teeth and takes a few deep breaths. "Don't go and start saying things you don't mean."

"I do me-"

"No, you don't." Katniss immediately retorts. And though she means to sound like she's trying to convince him, it sounds more like she's trying to convince herself more. "A twenty minute car ride doesn't make us close and it sure as hell doesn't mean you give a flying fuck about me. I gave you a ride home to repay you for helping me with the papers in the hall. I don't care about you, like you don't care about me."

That's it, Katniss. Keep pushing him away. He won't hurt you if he hates you. You can just live with it, knowing that he thinks you're a complete bitch and that's better than letting him get too close.

"You're trying to push me away." It's not a question. It's a statement and she's been caught red-handed. His eyes of cobalt blue gaze into hers with such fervor that she can't bring herself to break their intense stare. "Katniss, you don't know and can't change what I think or how I feel." Peeta insists with a gentle but forceful tone. "I know damn well that you don't deserve hell. And those people at school don't know what the fuck they're talking about if they think you are anything but…" He trails off and seems to think for a little before practically whispering a word that she never thought she'd hear anyone say to her. "Perfect."

She's never felt her chest hurt like this. It feels like her heart is trying to collapse on itself and at the same time it feels like it's being squeezed so tightly it may shrivel up and become useless. Her heart aches and she doesn't like it. But she can't allow herself to think that anyone – let alone him – could care what happened to her. Her mind flies to everything she knows about herself. She'll never be good enough, nor will she ever be the daughter her parents want her to be. Her hair will never be blonde like Prim's, her eyes will never be a crystal and sparkling blue like her sister's either. No matter who or what her mother and father want her to be, she just … can't.

"You don't know the effect you have on people, Katniss." Peeta admits "You just don't know, do you?"

Now she registers that his face is dangerously close to hers once again and her mind starts wheeling with a million different scenarios in which this isn't really happening. Did the team make a bet on this? On me and him? If he could seduce me? Is this a prank? A set up? Why is he still here? Does he not know how fucked up I am like everyone else does? Is he just doing this to make fun of me in the end? Why is this happening? And why don't I want to push him away anymore? Is he not aware of the effect he's had on me for years?

"Peeta!" High and shrill is the voice that cuts their moment in half with a sharp tone like an arrow piercing through the crisp air.

Peeta's face twists into a scowl, all gentleness and kindness gone as soon as he lifts his head to lay eyes on Vivian Mellark. It's no secret that Vivian is a cold and stone-like woman who revels in her husband's riches and shows off just how well off she is by decorating her exterior with such extravagant and dazzling ways, hiding that she is an arrogant and haughty woman underneath.

"Mother." His voice is stony and brusque. They must not see eye to eye very often, and Katniss, of all people, understands that most of all.

Her lifeless, brown eyes fall to Katniss who looks up at the woman with an expressionless face, not knowing what to do. She turns her nose up at her and clicks her tongue in disgust. "What are you doing talking to this Seam brat?" Vivian spits the words like they leave a bad taste in her mouth and fixates her son with a raised eyebrow.

"This is Katniss Everdeen," He says adding an emphasis on Katniss' name. "She was kind enough to drive me home so that I would bother you and father at work. Besides, I didn't expect to see you home so soon."

Peeta's sudden outburst of such formalities when speaking with his mother shocks Katniss. As he speaks with his mother, the tension present can very well be cut with a knife it's so thick and obvious. Peeta continues to place an emphasis on her name as his mother continues to call her variations of Seam slang that she acts like she ignores. She doesn't often care due to the fact that everyone has and will continue to call her different names, but recently, she's become very good as masking her emotions. Peeta's demeanor has gone from casual to formal in a matter of milliseconds and as she doesn't know how to diffuse the tension so she continues to awkwardly sit in the driver's seat of her car and return her hands to her lap wringing them tightly once more.

"Yes, well," Her voice drops and she her eyes do the same. Vivian's eyes are once more glaring down at Katniss with disgust. She looks as if she believes that her son, let alone herself, shouldn't be anywhere near a low life such as she. "What's she still doing here? And where, Peeta Mellark, is that new car I bought you Saturday?"

"I was going to say bye to her when you so rudely interrupted." Peeta quips meeting his mother's sharpness and annoyed tone evenly. "As for the car that Dad bought me; it's at the school. Something must've happened with the tires. One's flat. Lucky I wasn't on the road when it got worse."

Katniss hears Vivian mutter something along the lines of a sarcastic 'lucky, indeed' and along with the fact that Peeta has called her out on her bullshit, she seems to become even angrier. But being the coward she knows she is, Katniss remains unmoving with a blank face aimed at Peeta's mother.

"Your father will not be happy about this, young man."

Ignoring his mother, Peeta leans back down to level his face with Katniss' and when she turns to face him, her mouth runs dry. Or, maybe it's been dry this entire time. Hell if she can remember with the Panem's golden boy within five feet of her for the past thirty minutes.

"I hope the next time I see you is under much lighter circumstances, Katniss."

Has she mentioned that she might secretly begin to like her name when he says it? Oddly, she feels her spirits (which she didn't know had risen in the first place) drop and what she can only describe as disappointment fill her. She can't remember another time, other than the time she's spent with Peeta of all people, when she's felt anything but numbness and hopelessness. And she realizes that no matter how he may make her feel sudden aches in her chest that she doesn't like, how his smile blinds her but makes her want to slap it right off his face, and how much she's disliked her name until she's heard Peeta say it, she hasn't completely disliked his company. In that time they spent in her car, not once did he make fun of her, call her some kind of insult, make jokes about how she lacks financially, or anything of the sort. And admittedly, she may not hate him…not that she ever really did.

"I can take you home tomorrow if your car isn't fixed by then." Katniss blurts out without thinking. She mentally kicks herself.

Once again, Peeta's face lights up like the brightest tree during the Christmas season. He nods his head in a seemingly eager manner. "But I do have football practice after school till five thirty. Is that okay? I don't expect you to sit and wait for me tomorrow after school for over two hours like that."

She shrugs her shoulders impassively. "I've got no better place to be." Considering she has the day off tomorrow and she most certainly doesn't want to go home, she supposes that watching a two hour football practice can't be too terrible.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow?" His voice is so hopeful and dare she say excited. So she nods her head confirming that it's fine with her.

"Peeta just-"

And with a quick smile in Peeta's direction before shoving him away from her car with her hands through the window, giving him a small wave and telling him she'll see him later, she speeds off before she can hear Mrs. Mellark's voice anymore. Still with a small smile on her face, Katniss glances through her rear-view mirrors just in time to watch Peeta pick up his bags and march right past his nagging, glaring, angry mother and not once look back at the witch. With a bigger smile now painting her lips, she allows it to stay there for the ride to her own house as she secretly wonders how tomorrow will go when she takes one Peeta Mellark home again. This time from football practice. Fuck.


AN: I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! The second chapter is almost complete and I hope to post it soon. Feedback is greatly appreciated! And if you'd like, follow my tumblr purple-space-eyes. Thanks!