Author's note: I don't expect anybody to take this unlikely bit of fluff seriously, I just found the idea amusing :-)


Choices...

[THE LAIR]

Phantom: Just go! You want him! It's his pretty face, isnt it?

Raoul: And warm hands, don't forget. My touch doesn't make her shiver.

Christine: Actually... sometimes a shiver... isn't bad.

Raoul: Make your mind up. I booked the honeymoon suite in the best hotel. Of course, if you really prefer darkness with a cold lake and rats in the corners...

Christine: Raoul, I do like to be safe and warm. But then... sometimes it's exciting to feel as though I'm riding a thunderstorm. Not safe, but... interesting.

Phantom: You'll have to decide. We can hardly use the "Judgement of Solomon" method. If we cut you in half, we'd still fight over who got which half.

Christine: I've been thinking. (Looking at the black-stone ring in her hand.) Phantom, you stole a ring from me at the Masquerade. I want it back now.

(Phantom produces a jewelled ring from a drawer. Christine places both on a table, and covers her eyes.)

Christine: Shuffle the rings. Let's let fate decide.

(Both men, watching each other warily, move the rings around, and step back.)

(Christine, eyes still covered, reaches out to the table, and picks up the jewelled ring. Raoul smiles.)

Phantom: That's it, then.

Christine: I don't think you understand. That was not a final choice, it was a first choice. Phantom, why don't you take one of your magic potions, that will make you sleep for 24 hours. I'll wake you when I get back.

Raoul: I don't believe it! You can't mean to come back here!

Christine: (to both) You know, the world would be a much nicer place if people tried to get along with one another. Think about that. Meanwhile... Raoul, you mentioned a honeymoon suite.

[THE LAIR, A DAY LATER]

Phantom: So you came back. Still auditioning for your perfect lover?

Christine: You understand theatre. You know that sometimes a demanding role has to be alternated.

Phantom: Not quite the wedding night I had in mind.

Christine: It's still a wedding night. Only one of us has to be a virgin...

Phantom: Very well. Come into my chamber...

(They move to Phantom's bedroom.)

Christine: You cannot be serious. I am not sleeping in a coffin. Not even a coffin built for two.

Phantom: Don't be silly. The coffin is just set dressing, to maintain my reputation.

(He pulls a lever. Slowly the massive pipe organ folds down from the wall, extending legs. The other side is revealed as a giant, sumptuous bed.)

Christine: Ah. There had to be a reason for a huge organ in your bedroom.

[LATER. QUITE A LOT LATER...]

Phantom: So how do we compare, your Vicomte and I?

Christine: (thoughtfully) He is a sprinter. You are a stayer.

Phantom: You remind me of the nursery rhyme:
"Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife could eat no lean.
And so between them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean."

Christine: With me as the platter? Hmmm...

[RUE SCRIBE, TWO DAYS LATER]

Raoul: Why here? Too close to the Opera House.

Phantom: Why here? Too far from the lake.

Christine: Patience, gentlemen. All will be revealed. (giggles)

(A carriage arrives and takes them all to another part of town. Christine leads them into a luxurious basement apartment.)

Christine: Now be good, both of you. You agreed. I worked hard to find a place that would suit all of us.

Raoul: A basement!

Christine: No rats. No lake.

Phantom: Windows!

Christine: Curtained. And no mirrors. Well, one. On the ceiling. Over the bed...

[IN THE BEDROOM. ALL ON THE BED, CHRISTINE IN THE MIDDLE]

Christine: Isn't this nice?

Raoul: Togetherness is all very well, but one of us has to be first.

Phantom: You have not travelled enough, Monsieur le Vicomte. Simultaneous... enjoyment... is possible. If the lady co-operates.

Raoul: I accept your word, Monsieur le Phantom. I look forward to extending my education in your company.

Christine: But I do not feel ready to be quite so adventurous. Yet. So, gentlemen, let us decide. One of you to... wake me up. And one of you to send me to sleep. With a smile on my face.

o_o_o THE BEGINNING o_o_o