The fogginess around my brain finally lifts as consciousness begins to seep through. The sound of a machine beeping close to my ears and muted voices – no just one voice - Christian. I can feel him holding my hand and squeezing my fingers as he repeats what sound like a plea or prayer.

Please wake up Ana, I'm so sorry baby

Why is he apologising to me? I try searching my brain for any clues; it's there but just out of my reach. Frustrating! Suddenly it hits me like a wrecking ball. Jack Hyde, Mia was kidnapped. All the events unfolding, leading up to the gun shot!

A soft gasp escapes my mouth – I shot Jack! It's like a movie re-playing in my mind.

Elizabeth was there too. Jack, standing over my curled up body after the kick to my ribs.

My Little Blip… Oh no!

Christian is holding my cheek with one hand and still holding on to my hand with other. His lips are moving, but I cannot understand what he's saying. I force my hand out of the death grip Christian has on it as I try to somehow feel my Little Blip.

When my efforts don't yield the desires results, I stop struggling and focus on what Christian is saying…

"Anastasia, stop fighting and calm down" Christian snaps at me.

I am momentarily dumbfounded, my body rigid as his demand registers. Christian sighs in what looks like relief and his grip on me loosens marginally.

I take in my surroundings. I'm in a hospital room, with an IV attached to my fore-arm and a damn beeping noise that strangely matches my pounding heart - Noisy damn machine! How are sick people supposed to get any rest with this racket going on?

"My Little Blip" I whisper, my throat feels scratchy, I clear it and attempt to try again, but before the sound can pass my lips, Christian is speaking again

"Are you in pain? I'll get the nurse"

He's up and out of the room before I stop him. I sigh; he does like to overreact at time. I look around the room, taking in all the flowers and balloons – How long have I been here? Christian comes back into the room followed by Grace and grey-haired nurse.

Grace beams as enters, "Ana dear, I'm so glad you're awake. This is Nurse Nora; she'll take excellent care of you. How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? Are you pain?"

She fires off question after question barely giving me a chance to answer. I can see now where Mia gets her high-spirited nature from.

Mia!

I must have said that out loud as Grace suddenly stops and casts a quick glance at Christian before offering me a small smile.

"Mia is just fine dear – thanks to you. She's at home resting"

I nod as relief fill my being. Then it was worth it going up against Jack. Christian on the other hand looks livid. He's hands are balled into fists. Grace cast another glance at Christian and sighs softly. She rubs his arms reassuringly, silently communication to him.

Christian nods as his shoulders sag. Meanwhile nurse Nora who has busy checking the machines, turns her attention to me.

"How are you feeling dear?" she asks softly

"Thirsty" I croak. Clearing my throat, I try again. "Can I get some water please?" I request

Before either of us registers the movement, Christian is standing at the opposite side of my bed a glass of water in hand with a straw in it. Nurse Nora scowls at him, but he pays her no mind, his eyes on me as he brings the straw closer to my lips.

"Take small sips Mrs Grey" Nurse Nora cautions.

"Yes ma'am, "I mutter and take my first sip.

It's cool and such a welcome relief for my parched throat. Grace excuses herself saying she promised to call everyone as soon as I woke. Once my thirst is sated I try again

"Is my baby okay?" I softly ask Nurse Nora, who has been busy writing in my chart

She looks up sharply and for one brief moment a look of utter sadness creases her face before she schools her features into a somewhat professional expression.

"Dr Bartley will be in shortly to go over all the details, Mrs Grey, but please try to get some rest until then" she softly replies without meeting my eyes.

My scalp prickles and I just know this cannot be good. I turn my attention to Christian who has been unusually silent, he has a sullen expression on face and he too won't look in my direction.

"Christian, is my baby okay?" I address him directly

He turns to glance at me and immediately I can tell he's not going to surrender any more information than Nurse Nora has.

"Christian" I snap

"Just do as you're told for once Anastasia" he hisses at me.

Now I'm angry! What the fuck is going on here. I have a right to know dammit!

"The hell I will! I want to know now if my baby is okay dammit" I shout rather loudly.

Nurse Nora, who snaps out of her daze, pulls a syringe out of her pocket and slowly injects it into my IV smiling sadly at me. Grace barrels into the room, probably to see what the shouting was about.

"What's going on Christian?"

"Anastasia is just a bit stressed; she wants to know about the baby, I don't know …."

The rest of the conversation fades as darkness consumes me…

The rest of my hospital stay felt like much the same blur of sedation.

I was told about the miscarriage of my Little Blip – I'm still not sure what my reaction to that was. I vaguely remember my mum and Ray, Kate, Elliot and Ethan visiting me, under threat of my life though, I couldn't remember what was said or done during those visits.

We have been home from the hospital for three weeks now and Christian had barred me from going to work until he deems me healed. In the meantime though, he comes and goes as he pleases. I don't think we have seen each other for more than a few minutes at breakfast each morning, but then he's always so in a hurry to get to work.

Tonight though, Mr Grey is in for a surprise, I have decided to stay up and wait for my husband. It's high time we talked about the giant elephant in the room.