Learning to Trust Year 3
None of these characters are mine. The world of Hogwarts and Harry Potter all belongs to JK Rowling.
This one is a little longer than the previous two but I hope those of you who read it like! Please feel free to review.
Severus Snape descended the grand staircase at Hogwarts as though borne on wings. Black robes billowed behind him like a black cloud. The few students he encountered in the entrance hallway scattered like dry leaves before a gale.
The school was uncharacteristically quiet, most of the students who were past their first year had gone on the day's outing to Hogsmeade village.
Snape knew that one of them was his young ward. And when he got hold of him, he intended to make him sorry he'd ever even heard of it, much less visited it.
Watching two small figures approach the castle, Snape narrowed his eyes. Even at this distance, the flaming red hair identified one of them as Ron Weasley. The other, smaller figure would be Hermione Granger. The remaining member of the golden trio was nowhere to be seen.
The austere Head of Slytherin was not fooled. That blasted Invisibility Cloak, he thought, turning on his heel to make his way to his personal quarters.
He was seated in the armchair closest to a blazing fire in his living room, reading his Wizarding Times when Harry pushed open the door twenty minutes later. Snape gave him a quick glance over the top of the paper, his eyes steady, betraying no hint of the temper that simmered behind them.
"Your friends have returned, have they not, Harry? I assumed you would want to catch up on their adventures in the village. I see Mr. Weasley's pockets are bulging, presumably with Zonko's merchandising," Severus tone was mildly interested.
The boy shrugged but kept his eyes averted. "Ah, yes, they're back but I wasn't that bothered," he said.
Severus' lips tightened though Harry did not notice. Slowly, he folded the paper and rose to his feet, his movements graceful and calm.
"So what did you do with yourself, today, Harry?" he asked.
Harry had pleaded for a full week with his guardian to sign the consent form allowing him to go on the outing to Hogsmeade. Severus was steadfast in his refusal. Sirius Black was free of Azkaban and Dementors stalked the outskirts of the school and while that was the situation, he would not allow Harry to leave the grounds.
"Uh not much. I had a walk in the snow," the boy replied. Severus stood before the mantle, his hands in the pockets of his robes, perfectly still.
"And where might I ask was the snow you were walking on?" he asked in a silky drawl.
Harry's head lifted, his eyes found his guardian's and the colour drained from his face.
He knew! The Professor knew he'd been to Hogsmeade, Harry realised as his stomach dropped.
But how? And then another realisation dawned.
"Malfoy!" he spat bitterly almost to himself.
"When Draco came back to the school, at some clip I might add, he was babbling about being attacked by dark forces that were invisible. He was quite sure he was lucky to escape with his life. When he added that Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley had somehow set the hex loose on him, I hardly needed to hear any more to work out where this dark magic had come from," Severus glared at his ward, his words clipped, his tone glacial despite the sneer on his lips.
Harry was silent, his head dropping so that his eyes were hidden beneath the untidy tumble of dark hair.
"My suspicions were correct then. You went to Hogsmeade anyway, knowing you were forbidden to do so?" Snape didn't raise his voice but anger pulsed in every syllable.
"So tell me, Harry. Did I not make myself clear when I said that you were not, under any circumstances to leave these grounds with Black at large? Was the Minister for Magic having a joke when he called on you to urge extreme caution for the same reason?"
"Yes. I mean no. I'm sorry. I just…" Harry knew that there was nothing to say that would fix this.
He had disobeyed the Professor and he had been caught out, cornered.
"'I just.' Surely the prelude to every lame justification in the book!" the dark clad wizard snarled.
"I haven't done anything wrong! But I have to live like a prisoner? How is that fair?" Harry demanded, throwing his arms out, anger bringing a flush back to his cheeks.
"You've done nothing wrong?" Snape rose an eyebrow.
"When, Mr Potter has it become acceptable to disobey me? To lie to me?"
Snape's own temper kicked up from simmer to bubble.
"What do you expect if you are going to treat me like a child? Ron and Hermione got to go but I was supposed to stay here like a dumb kid!" Harry's voice rose.
"I expect you to do as you are told. I expect you to show the basic courtesy of being honest with me and I expect you to have the good sense to want to save your hide,"
Snape did not move a muscle as he talked but his eyes flashed a warning. He was furious and Harry fell silent before him.
"You have broken more rules today than I can count. You have conducted yourself with deceit and stupidity and a thoughtless disregard for others that is appalling,"
Snape delivered each word with a deadly ferocity.
"And you lied to me. You have broken my trust in you, Harry,"
This last accusation was spoken almost softly. And it almost broke Harry's heart. Snape's anger was one thing, his disappointment weighed far more heavily.
Harry's breath hitched. He wanted to say sorry, he wanted to plead with his guardian to forgive him but the words wouldn't come. He deserved Snape's ire and his disdain. Everything the Professor had said was true.
Severus moved towards the couch, his eyes flicking to the red faced boy.
"I am going to put you across my knee. And then I am going to send you to bed and if I have any more trouble out of you, then so help me I will tell Mr. Filch to deal with you as he sees fit!"
"You won't hit me with anything but your hand?"
Harry was moving towards the Professor even as the tall man lowered himself onto the couch. Somehow, he knew that further rebellion would be a big mistake.
Yet his eyes were unsure as he looked in the darkly angry face of the Potions Master.
Severus rarely had cause to physically discipline his ward. He relied on spanking only as a last resort and he knew that the beatings Harry had received from his muggle family made the boy fearful of violence from those who should be caring for him.
He issued the usual assurance. He held out his hands, palm outwards.
"No belt, no strap, no cane or ruler. No weapon of any sort. Not now, not ever," he said, holding the boy's nervous eyes with his own.
"But you are angry,"
"You think I am punishing you because I am angry?" Severus waited.
Harry paused and thought about the question.
"No."
Harry's instinct told him that his guardian would see such an action as a loss of dignity, an unforgivable slip in control.
"Then you are correct. If this was about my anger, I would ensure the maximum impact. Like your savage of an uncle, I would seek to impose the greatest degree of pain. That disgusts me, Harry."
The boy knew the truth when he heard it.
"There are consequences for my actions."
"My lesson precisely. The only reason you are getting this spanking is because you did not follow the rules I set for you," Severus's tone was even.
"I want you to feel my displeasure at what you have done. But you are safe with me Harry,".
The boy found himself standing before his guardian, he didn't care for feeling weak and was embarrassed at appearing childish.
When Severus reached out and took hold of his waist to flip him so that he was lying face down over his knee, Harry squeezed his eyes shut to fight against the tears that were already threatening.
His hands fisted in the older wizard's robes.
The spanking Severus gave him made Harry feel as though the seat of his trousers had gone on fire.
He could not stem the sobs that caused his throat to hurt and it took several long minutes before he heard a dearly familiar voice cut through his misery.
"Breathe, you silly boy,"
The Professor's hand rested between his shoulder blades.
"I.. I.. I.." Harry could not force the words past the lump of tears in his throat.
"Hush. Hush now,"
Presently, he found himself cradled against Severus's shoulder.
He clung to his guardian, desperate for the contact, the comfort, to block out the knowledge that had destroyed the trust of the older man.
And even after he had lied to him, Severus was still prepared to cuddle him as though he was the most precious thing in the world.
The thought brought a stab of guilt that brought raw, wracking, tumults of crying from deep inside Harry.
"Harry." his guardian spoke softly. "All of this fuss? Was it that bad?"
Severus was a bit unnerved by the volume of the tears. The boy wasn't putting it on for effect and the last thing the older man wanted was to have hurt him. Had he been too harsh?
Harry took several shuddering breaths, keeping his face pressed against Severus' shoulder.
"No, Sir," he sobbed at length.
"It's all over now. Done. You are alright," Severus murmured gently.
"I am sorry," the boy sniffled. Harry knew that he should not have disobeyed. He figured he'd had that spanking coming but his heart weighed heavy knowing that he had disappointed the Professor. He felt he'd lost something that he would miss forever.
"You are forgiven. We will move on," Severus' voice was firm with resolve.
Feeling the boy grow calmer, Snape eased him from him, hooking a finger beneath his chin to lift his face to him.
"You are to go to your room now. You will remain here tonight. I will be along to say goodnight in a short while," he said.
Harry nodded and swiped at the tears on his cheeks with the back of his hand.
Severus lifted him to his feet and watched him retreat in the direction of his bedroom. These were not easy times, he would have to keep a firm eye on his young charge.
The following morning, Harry was subdued at breakfast. Severus made a study out of reading his morning paper, hardly seeming to notice his companion.
"How are you feeling this morning?" Snape asked at last, the unease he had felt last night prickling slightly within his mind.
" Fine,"
Severus pursed his lips. So, anything but fine, then.
"I am aware this is not an easy situation, Harry. Tensions are running high. This is all the more reason to keep a level head now,"
"Got it,"
It wasn't like Harry to sulk, the tingle of disquiet grew a little stronger.
"I hope so, young man. For if I see the merest sign of a rule being so much as stretched by you again and your Nimbus 2000 won't see the light of day for a very long time,"
Harry merely nodded, he wouldn't meet his guardian's eyes and he was gone before Severus had finished his own breakfast.
In fact, the week had gotten off to the worst of starts for Harry, a premonition of things to come, it seemed.
That day, he endured a double Divination, with Professor Trelawney dramatically forecasting a sticky end for him that was due to happen at any second.
He faced his forbidding guardian later that morning, this time in the classroom and Snape's jet eyes landed on him a few times, the stern lines of the Potion Master's face set. Harry was obviously still in the bad books and he couldn't wait to get out of the oppressive dungeon.
Again, Snape watched him go, his brow furrowed. The child could not put enough distance between them. He was starting to worry a little about him, Harry looked pale and unhappy.
For Harry, the day took a definitive nosedive when the one class he was actually looking forward to turned out to be the worst of the lot. The Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lupin was kind and soft spoken and when he started the lesson on boggarts, Harry, like the rest of the Gryffindors was excited and engaged.
Harry eagerly joined the queue of students lining up before the old armoire waiting to face down the shape shifter but as soon as he did, the spectral and gruesome image of the Dementor had hardly formed before Harry when Lupin leapt in, wand drawn and drove it back.
Ron hadn't needed rescuing, even Neville had deflected the boggart without help.
Humiliated, Harry left the tower, his mood darkening. He refused offers to join Ron and Hermione in the Gryffindor common room and went outside instead, relishing being free of the castle, free of the gazes that followed him, the pitying looks, free of Snape's disenchantment with him.
He was standing on the covered bridge over the lake, watching the choppy waters without really seeing anything whn he heard a soft footfall behind him.
"Harry Potter. I recognised you the minute I saw you,"
The soft voice of Professor Lupin came to him and Harry looked around, surprised that the Professor was one of those who sought him out because of his famous name.
Certainly the teacher placed no faith in the folk tale of Harry's powers, seeing as he felt he couldn't be depended upon to sort out a boggart alone.
"Not because of your scar. You are the image of your father."
Now Harry really was intrigued. "But you have your mother's eyes," Lupin smiled at him.
"You knew my parents?" Lupin had Harry's fullest attention now.
"Yes. We were at school together. We were friends. Your mother was an amazing person, Harry. She had the ability to see the best in everyone. Your father on the other hand, well, James and you share a certain disregard for the rules, shall we say,"
Harry felt like a part of him that was hungry was being fed.
Lupin talked with him about the James and Lily he remembered and the shadows lengthened but Harry hardly noticed.
"Best you get back to the castle, Harry. It's getting late, " Lupin said at last.
Harry felt a sour feeling give a turn in his stomach. Better get the fake boy wonder out of sight before any real danger threatens, he thought.
Lupin read the expression on the boy's face and gave him a knowing look.
"You are wondering why I intervened with the boggart today, Harry?" he said.
"I naturally assumed you would think of Lord Voldemort. I couldn't have the class panicked. That you chose a Dementor tells me what you fear is fear itself. You are a brave boy, Harry, as your father was," Lupin's words brought an unexpectedly positive end to an otherwise torment of a day.
In the days that followed, he sought out Lupin often. While relations remained frosty with his guardian, the slightly shabby Lupin, on the other hand was non threatening, easy company and he seemed to enjoy talking with Harry just as much.
For his part, Severus watched Harry with the Dark Arts teacher, saw the relaxed way the boy chatted with the man, saw the quick laughter and looks of admiration on Harry's face whenever Lupin was in sight.
With him, the boy had turned into a polite but distant stranger. Conversation was stilted and Harry could not wait to get away fast enough.
If Severus possessed more of a conciliatory nature, perhaps he would have known how to repair the damage but as the chasm between him and the boy widened, Severus fell back to the familiar persona of the rigid and unyielding Professor.
And that was exactly what Harry encountered on the night he left the library in pursuit of a figure named Peter Pettigrew.
He had gleaned enough information from half heard conversations to know that Pettigrew had been a friend of his father's and an unfortunate victim of Sirius Black's murderous spree.
Seeing his steps walk across an enchanted map Ron's brothers had given him aroused Harry's curiosity and he found himself tracking the mysterious figure along a seldom used corridor in the castle.
So intent on the hunt was he that even when the map warned of the approach of Professor Snape, Harry didn't give up on encountering Peter.
Instead, the dark shape of his guardian took form in the gloom, the light from the end of Severus' wand the only illumination on the corridor.
"What are you doing, Mr. Potter? Why are you not in the library doing your homework?" Snape demanded.
Harry had had the good sense to seal the map using the incantation Fred and George had taught him before running into Snape.
The guilty look on his face was harder to wipe, though andSnape read it like an open book.
"Turn out your pockets," he demanded, furious that this stubborn brat was back to his old tricks of pursuing adventure, even after all that had happened.
Wounded at the impersonal tone, Harry shot a look of pure dislike at his guardian and obeyed. The map fell on the step at his feet.
Snape bent to retrieve it.
"And what is this?"
Harry squared his shoulders.
"It's just a parchment," he said.
Snape gave him a searing glare. He poised his wand and murmured the reveal spell.
Ink immediately crawled across the yellowed parchment.
He gave it back to the boy.
"Read it," he ordered.
Harry blushed.
"Now, Mr. Potter" Snape ground out the words, torn between hauling the boy into his arms and not letting go until all danger passed and wringing his neck.
The scalding taint deepening on his cheeks, Harry read the words, entreating Snape to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.
Snape's lips thinned to a white line as anger burned through the thin veil of strict teacher.
This is what came of Harry's cosy chats with Lupin. The arrogance and sneering disregard for others that James Potter wore like a badge of honour.
While the shock was still registering, the man Snape was harbouring venomous thoughts about materialised.
"Severus, this is undoubtedly bewitched to insult the person trying to read it against the owner's wishes. Nothing more sinister than that," Lupin smiled good naturedly.
Snape wanted to put his fist through his amicable face.
"You are the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Perhaps you need to study this a bit more thoroughly," Severus snapped, handing the parchment to Lupin.
He looked down at his ward, fighting the desire to shake him until his teeth rattled.
"We will talk about this later," he said but again, Lupin was there.
"I think Harry should come with me. You are right, Severus, I should take a look at this more closely and perhaps Harry can answer a few questions for me," Lupin laid a hand on Harry's shoulder, guiding him away from his smouldering guardian.
Severus turned on his heel and stalked away. He was not used to losing control of a situation and he was not used to Harry treating him as though he was a secondary consideration only.
He was losing the child. He didn't know how to prevent it and he felt a pure and deep hatred of the man he believed responsible.
Two days later when Harry skidded in to their quarters, feet barely touching the floor, Severus looked up to find a delighted look on his face that gave him a view of the boy he used to know.
"What's got you in such a good mood? Has Professor Trelawney run out of tea leaves?"
Snape smiled at the radiant look on Harry's face.
"Watch,"
Harry raised his wand, uttered the Expecto Patronum and a magnificent silver stag leapt from the end of his wand.
He looked up, jubilant, into the face of his guardian.
"Professor Lupin showed me."
Snape's expression resembled that of a man who had witnessed an entire troupe of Cornish pixies being set loose on his house.
Harry blinked, the silvery stag dimmed.
"That is very good, Harry. Indeed," Snape turned on his heel and left, swirling out of the door in a dark rustle of his robes.
Harry felt hot tears stab his eyes almost painfully. Even this did not make a small impression on his guardian's icy contempt.
Harry had just successfully performed a complex spell well above Ordinary Wizarding Level and Severus didn't even care.
Harry had known that he had damaged his relationship with the Professor when he sneaked out to Hogsmeade that time. He hadn't known that Severus would refuse to give him a chance to earn back the trust he'd forfeited.
But there was no clearer sign than this. Harry had obviously fractured the bond beyond repair.
The magical stag vanished. In its place an oppressive weight of despair settled on the boy. He felt he was in mourning, grieving a loss and he had no idea how to escape it.
Severus strode along the corridor, a fearsome figure in a cloud of black robes.
Harry had been so happy. He had shown such skill, more than Severus could have even dreamed. This brave and talented child stood with such wonder at his own ability and Severus felt only the sharp pain of exclusion.
His father's patronus. His father's old friend teaching Harry how to produce it.
How could he even hope to be in that moment with the child? And how could he protect Harry from the hurt that lay behind all that he did not know about these nostalgic trips down memory lane with Lupin?
In the days that followed, the strained conversation between guardian and ward dwindled to a silence that all but heaved from the weight of the tension pushing on it.
There existed only a graceless tolerance between them and neither could think of a way to get past it.
Which explained why Severus was alone one evening in his quarters when Lupin charged in. Harry was spending the evening with Ron and Hermione, information he had shared that morning, with his now customary brevity.
The Professor putting away some of his the books in his own private collection, and he looked up to find the unexpected sight of his colleague barrelling into the living room.
Lupin looked harried, even more dishevelled than usual.
"I take it you have dispensed with the formality of knocking, Lupin. You may have Harry eating out of the palm of your hand but this is still my home and you are not welcome in it," Snape bestowed a rancorous look at the other man.
"Severus. You need to come. Harry…"
The book in Snape's hand fell forgotten to the floor and he was already halfway to the door before Lupin had finished his stammering introduction.
His robes swirled at his feet like a fast approaching storm. His wand was drawn and he was moving down the corridor as though he had already forgotten Lupin,
The Dark Arts Professor hastened in his wake.
"Where is he, Lupin? What has happened?"
Snape did not stop to look back and his voice sounded strangled even to his own ears.
"On the bridge, Severus. He's not hurt, he's okay but something has…."
Again Snape did not wait to hear the rest of Lupin's words. He spun on his heel with such speed that Remus, who had been striding with speed to match the Potion Master's frantic pace almost barrelled into him.
The blazing ferocity of the grim man's face stopped him cold.
"Okay? If he is it's no thanks to you and I promise you, Lupin, if any harm comes to him I will hold you personally responsible. Neither you nor your little secret will be safe from me," Snape growled, venom drenching every word.
He was moving again before Lupin had recovered himself. He covered the ground so fast between his chambers and the bridge on the lake that he may as well have taken flight.
A cold wind whistled through the ramparts in the old bridge but Harry had no sense of it nor did he feel the warmth of the tears that bled from his eyes down his face. He did hear the staccato of approaching footsteps and assumed it was Professor Lupin who he knew liked to walk this way. He had no wish to talk to him.
He drew his knees up and hugged them, dropping his head onto his arms.
Severus heard the ragged sobbing before he saw the huddled shape of the boy. His heart almost skipped a beat.
He had no idea what had caused this upset but it hurt him through to his marrow to hear the sounds of such pain from the child.
He walked slowly towards his ward, worried about startling him.
"Harry?"
Through the stew of emotions that burned through Harry like poison, the silky voice reached him.
Feeling immediately safer, better, Harry rose his head and looked at the one person who could hold his world steady.
He was surprised it was Snape and yet it felt so right all of a sudden, just because he as there.
Seeing the sheer distress on Harry's face, Severus' heart lurched again.
He moved swiftly and without thought. He took the boy and gathered him tight against him.
"I'm here. I'm here now and I've got you. I've got you,"
Harry leaned into the strong arms of his guardian and felt himself reach a refuge.
Severus drew his wand, casting a muffliato spell to ensure they could not be heard and a blocking charm to prevent anyone else crossing the bridge.
The time was not right to take Harry back inside and so, Severus held him, simply wanting the boy to know he was not alone.
Harry cried hard for long minutes, no breath for talking. Severus knew better than to ask the questions that were on his tongue. Yet the sheer torment he felt radiating off the boy made his own heart constrict as anxiety gnawed at him.
He felt a momentary temptation to look into Harry's mind, see just what had happened for himself but he dismissed the thought even as it came to him.
It was vital that Harry tell him what was going on. If his ward could not talk to him, then he was serving no useful purpose.
"He was their friend and he betrayed them," the words were barely a whisper, raw and strained and pulsing with hurt and anger and loss.
Harry clutched the older man's robes, kept his face pressed against his chest.
"And I betrayed you and everything is gone, it's gone," the words were sodden with pain and Severus frowned, instinctively clasping the child closer to him as his mind whirred trying to make sense of what he had heard.
"Harry, slow down and start again. I don't think I understand," Severus said over the top of his head.
"He let them down. He betrayed their trust and I betrayed yours and now they're dead and you hate me," the words were swept away on a fresh wave of tears.
"What on earth would make you think such a thing? Oh Harry, my boy, I could never, ever hate you," Severus cupped the child's face between his hands, looking deep into the red rimmed eyes.
"We have let bad feelings come between us too long, we have let them fester and become more than they should. But I have not stopped caring for you because that is not possible," Severus said the words slowly and deliberately.
A sense of guilt ripped into him. He had let his stupid, arrogant pride have free rein in recent days and this is what came of it. He had alienated an emotionally fragile child unto the point of absolute despair.
"You said I br.. bro.. oke you..rrr trust," Harry hiccupped.
Severus heaved a sigh. "I did, child. And I meant it in that moment. What I did not say, to my shame is that there will be many, many ways to earn it back and there is no limit on the chances I will give," Snape was awestruck that a throwaway remark had caused this deep wound.
Harry felt something priceless return to him. Like chocolate after sight of a dementor, it warmed him in ways that brought strength and protection from dark things.
At sea, lost in a mire of half truths and secrets, Harry realised that here, with his guardian, he felt something few other people in his life could give him. He had honesty, always honesty and he put his feet on that bedrock now.
"My parents, they trusted Sirius Black to save their lives and he betrayed them, Severus. To Voldemort. That is what no-one here wanted me to know. That is why Black is after me, to finish what his master started. Well I hope he does come for me because when he does, I'll be ready. I will kill him,"
The ferocity in Harry's eyes blazed behind the sheen of tears. Severus saw it, understood it and knew the time had come.
"Harry, I need to talk to you. I should have done this before. There are some things you have the right to know. I want you to hear them from me, not overhear snatches of information and half truths," Severus said.
Harry wiped the tears that lingered on his cheeks with the backs of his fingers and fixed Severus with a level gaze.
His guardian began to talk and the story he told had Harry's head spinning.
"My godfather?" he tried to digest the words and what they meant.
"Yes. Black was your father's best friend. He would never have betrayed him, he would have died first. I admit that there is no love lost between myself and Black but I have no doubt of that," Severus watched surprise and confusion fly across the boy's face.
"But nobody told me! First I thought he was a mass murderer, then that he sold out my parents. None of it is true, is it, Severus?" Harry looked into the black eyes of his guardian.
"No. Everyone believed that Black was a traitor. None suspected gormless Peter Pettigrew and certainly no-one knew that he was still alive until Lupin showed up here with a very different version of events. As I said, you have the right to know this and I am sorry I did not tell you sooner," Severus said.
"Black and Lupin, they want to lure Pettigrew, they fear that if he senses his cover is blown, he will disappear again," he concluded the tale, waited while Harry processed the life changing information.
"Then Sirius is innocent. We have to help him, Severus. He can't go back to Azkaban. And Pettigrew can't just get away with what he did!"
The fierce blaze was back in the green eyes.
"I agree, Harry. And believe me when I say that there is a plan but I will not allow you to be the bait to draw Pettigrew. I have made that very clear to Lupin," Severus lifted Harry's chin with a long finger.
"And I am asking you to trust me. Let me handle it, I know what I am doing. But you must promise me that you will not put yourself at risk. Give me your word, Harry,"
Harry met his guardian's eyes and nodded once.
"Sir, I have one more thing I need to know. I.. The thing is… I.."
Harry knew the question, it was practically burning through his very soul yet the words would not form.
Severus heart almost skipped a beat as he guessed the question that was behind the uncomfortable struggle to release it.
Harry had discovered the one thing he craved more than anything, a family link to parents he never knew, someone from his own world, not the brutish muggles who raised him.
"I have a godfather. Once this is over, that can change everything," Harry 's eyes couldn't meet his guardian's. He studied his fingers, clasped on his raised knees.
He risked a covert glance from beneath his fringe, trying to gauge Severus' reaction.
Predictably, the older man was impossible to read. He was still and silent, waiting for Harry's question.
"Yes," Severus managed.
"Does it have to? I mean, you can say no. If you want to, and I will understand, honestly, Sir but maybe you would let me stay anyway?"
Harry held his breath. Of course Severus would be relieved that there was an out of a situation he had not exactly sought or welcomed. A godfather who could take a troublesome ward off his hands, small wonder the Professor wanted Sirius' name vindicated.
Still, maybe if Harry could assure him he would make himself useful, be no more bother, maybe he wouldn't pack him off.
Severus felt as if blood frozen in his veins had pulsed to life once more. He drew a breath.
He reached out his arm and drew the boy to his shoulder.
"You need to ask?"
Harry leaned against him, feeling as though he had reached harbour after a violent storm.
"Then my answer is this. Harry, as long as there is breath in my body, you have a home with me. And as long as there is breath in my body, it is my wish that you share it."
"I like that answer,"
Severus allowed himself a small smile over the boy's head.
So did he.
