WHISPERS IN THE WIND
Fuji had been in love with Tezuka for as long as he could remember. Everything he did was for Tezuka. He took up tennis only because Tezuka was in it. Everyday, Fuji would find the opportunity to be with Tezuka, be it as simple as just standing beside him while watching the other tennis members practicing.
His persistence paid off. After a heartfelt confession from Fuji, they finally became a couple. Fuji was truly contented during their time together. But life through rose-tinted glasses didn't last long for him. Due to his shoulder injury, Tezuka needed to go to Germany for rehabilitation for an indefinite amount of time.
Fuji knew he couldn't change Tezuka's mind. Tennis was the love of his life. Although they had been going out for three months, tennis still held first place in Tezuka's heart. That thought saddened Fuji.
The day Tezuka left for Germany, Fuji locked himself in his room and cried. He'd only realized that during their short time together, Tezuka had never once professed his love to him.
Now two years later, Tezuka was finally coming home.
Fuji was elated when he got a call from Tezuka saying that he wanted to meet Fuji after he got off the plane. This was a chance for them to start anew. He would make sure their relationship work this time around.
Fuji chose to stay behind while his family went off to vacation in Okinawa, eagerly waiting for Tezuka's return.
The day finally arrived. Fuji got up early, cleaned his house and baked an apple pie to welcome Tezuka back.
Everything done, he glanced at the clock. It was 9 o'clock in the morning. Tezuka should have arrived at the airport by now. And then it would take about an hour and a half to reach Fuji's place.
He still have more than an hour to kill. Bored, Fuji turned on the television. Flipping idly through the channels, he came to the news segment. Something caught his attention.
A female newsreader was reading out the news in a solemn voice "….Unfortunately, the plane that was due to arrive from Germany today at 9am crashed in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The cause still hasn't been determined. 200 passengers were reported to be killed, although no bodies have been found yet. Here are the lists of the passengers that were believed to be on the plane…."
Germany? Could it be a coincidence? With his heart in his mouth, Fuji's eyes scanned the list that flashed across the screen.
Saionji Kouji (46)….Sawamura Guren (28)….Suzanne Wakefield (19)….Kanashima Suzuki (44)….Tamara Kain (35).…Tanako Hina (20)…Tezuka Kunimitsu (19)…
No! The blood drained from Fuji's face as he came across Tezuka's name. There must be some kind of a mistake. Tezuka couldn't be dead. Yes, it must be a mistake…
Without knowing how he got there, Fuji found himself dialing the number to Tezuka's residence. After a long wait, Ayana finally picked up the call. She sounded as she had been crying.
Trying his best to keep his panic at bay, Fuji offered a greeting to Tezuka's mother with as much normalcy as he could mustered. "Good morning, Ayana-san. This is Fuji. May I speak to Kunimitsu please? Is he back yet?"
There was only sobbing at the other end of the line. The choky sensation in Fuji's throat was worsening by the second, driven by a palpable fear that threatened to overwhelm him. Please don't let it be true. Please…
When Ayana spoke up at last, her voice shaking terribly. "I'm so sorry, Fuji-kun. Kunimitsu is…there was…a plane crash…" She wasn't able to continue as she broke down crying.
Fuji's whole world fell apart at the moment. His heart seemed to stop beating and his entire being felt numbed to the core. Tears started flowing from his eyes as the phone fell from his lifeless hand. Tezuka, don't leave me. I can't live without you. I love you….He slumped down on the floor, his body racking with anguished sobs that just wouldn't stop.
Somebody was shaking on Fuji's shoulder, trying to pull him out of the comforting slumber he let himself sink into. When there was still no reaction from him, the shaking became more persistent. Fuji finally gave a grunt and turned away. He wished whoever it was would just leave him alone. He didn't want to face the world anymore…..
"Fuji, wake up. Please open your eyes…." A deep gentle voice, so familiar to his ears, urged him.
Unable to resist the voice, Fuji found himself obeying. As his vision slowly cleared, he was surprised to find beautiful hazel orbs gazing down at him full of concern. Eyes that he thought he would never see again….
"Tezuka…?" Fuji croaked. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Tezuka was supposed to be dead….. "Am I dreaming?"
"No, you are not," Tezuka told him, looking relieved that Fuji was finally awake. "I've returned, Fuji. Don't go back to sleep now.…"
This was all so strange…..Fuji's thoughts still couldn't register what was happening.
As the last tendrils of sleep left him, Fuji became aware of how wretched and cold he felt. His head was pounding like a trip hammer and his mouth felt like sandpaper. His left wrist was throbbing, probably from sleeping on it for too long. He wondered if he had sprained something.
"I feel awful…" Fuji complained as he tried to sit up.
Tezuka was there in an instant to help him. "That happens when someone cried himself out…" he said mildly while cradling Fuji in his arms.
The warmth enveloping him was so real. Fuji couldn't help but sighed in relief. Tezuka wasn't dead. It was all just a bad dream…
"I thought you were dead. The plane you were in crashed…" The mere thought of how close he came to losing Tezuka immediately brought tears to Fuji eyes again.
"Hush now," Tezuka gently wiped the tears away from Fuji's face, his eyes gazing into blue ones with tenderness. "I missed that plane and took a later flight home. I know you would be worrying about me, so I came straight here from the airport. The door was unlocked…"
Fuji was crying now with tears of happiness. He tightened his grip on Tezuka, afraid that the other boy would vanish if he ever let go of him. "Nothing else matters as long as you are here with me…"
"I will always be with you, Fuji," Tezuka told him. "Even if I die…."
"Don't say such things!" Fuji abruptly cut him off, glaring through his tears.
"All right, I won't." Tezuka smiled faintly as he stroke Fuji's tear-stained face. "But I have something to tell you, Fuji. I have gone on too long without saying it. I love you, Fuji Syusuke. I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you…."
"Really?" Fuji gazed wide eyed at Tezuka. It was like a dream come true. Fuji had lost count of how long he had wished Tezuka would say that to him.
"Really and truly," Tezuka replied before lowering his head to capture Fuji's lips in a tender kiss.
Fuji closed his eyes. All the pains and aches he felt earlier were gone under the tender onslaught of the kiss.
After a while, Tezuka broke off the kiss. "Will you let me make love to you?" he asked softly, caressing Fuji's face with his eyes.
Fuji was surprised at this ardent side of Tezuka. They had never progressed beyond kissing before this. But after the experience of nearly losing him, Fuji wanted to be as close to Tezuka as possible. Shyly, Fuji nodded his head.
Tezuka resumed kissing Fuji, bringing his tongue into play now. Fuji gasped as he felt Tezuka's long graceful fingers stroking his body. He tightened his fingers on Tezuka's hair, giving in to the delicious languor that was slowly spreading through his body.
They made sweet and wild love. Tezuka whispered his love for Fuji over and over again as he thrust into Fuji's body. And when Fuji reached his climax, he cried out Tezuka's name in sweet ecstasy.
Fuji didn't know for how long he remained in a state of pure bliss before he finally floated back down to earth. Wrapped in the warm cocoon of Tezuka's embrace, Fuji's eyelids slowly fluttered close as sleep took him.
"Syusuke, don't go to sleep yet…." Tezuka whispered in his ear.
Fuji smiled. He was delighted to hear Tezuka calling him by his given name. They had truly become lovers. "It was an overwrought morning for me, Kunimitsu. Let me sleep for a while, ne?" he told his lover as he planted a kiss on his lips.
Tezuka looked at him with concern. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine, just a little tired…and cold, that's all," Fuji reassured him. He didn't realize how cold he was until now. "Keep me warm, Kunimitsu," he said as he snuggled deeper within Tezuka's embrace, eyes closing once more.
But Tezuka wouldn't let him sleep. "Syusuke, what is the one thing that you like to do with me?" he asked instead.
"Hmm?" Fuji fought hard to keep his eyes open. He thought about Tezuka's question. For as long as he could remembered, there was only one thing that occupied his mind. "I want to go on a date with you, just like lovers do."
Tezuka gave one of his rare smiles again. "All right. Let's go on a date now."
"Now?" Fuji wasn't sure if he was up to it at the moment.
But Tezuka was already out of bed and had begun dressing. Resignedly, Fuji sat up. Dizziness immediately swept over him, forcing Fuji to lie back down. The throbbing in his left wrist was also getting worse.
Tezuka immediately rushed to Fuji's side. "Syusuke, are you all right?"
Fuji nodded faintly. "I'm fine. I think I sprained my left wrist. It's throbbing incessantly. I'll be well once I take some aspirin."
Gingerly, he sat up again. This time, he was able to make it out of bed without any more mishap. Tezuka couldn't stop fussing over him. Fuji found that he liked that a lot.
They spent the day doing all the things that Fuji liked. They went to the amusement park, fed each other's ice cream and walked around holding hands and kissing. Fuji was oblivious to everything but Tezuka. To Fuji, there might just as well be the two of them in the world that day.
Fuji was feeling on top of the world when they finally made their way back home. Even the dull throbbing of his wrist couldn't bring his spirits down.
He wished Tezuka would spend the night with him. As if reading his thoughts, Fuji heard Tezuka asked, "Can I stay over tonight?"
Fuji nodded happily. They ended up making love again long through the night. Tezuka wouldn't let him sleep a wink.
As the sky began to clear, Fuji felt himself shivering uncontrollably. The throbbing in his wrist was back in full force. He was suddenly feeling very, very cold.
"How do you feel, Syusuke?"Tezuka asked in a worried voice. He seemed to be finely attuned to every little change in Fuji.
This must be a bond that lovers share with each other, Fuji thought with an inward smile.
"I think I am coming down with some bug. I don't feel too well," Fuji told him honestly. "Hold me close, Kunimitsu. Sing me a song."
Tezuka complied without a fuss, although Fuji knew he hated singing. He wrapped his arms around his lover's slender body and sang. He sang of his love for Fuji, of life and all the beauty in the world. Fuji thought he had never heard anything more beautiful than Tezuka's voice.
Fuji couldn't stop shivering. He was so cold, so very cold even though he was enveloped within Tezuka's warm embrace. And sleepy. Fuji couldn't remember the last time he slept. He told himself that he would feel much better after getting a little sleep...
He was roughly shaken awake by Tezuka again. "Syusuke, don't go to sleep now. Hang on for a little while more. Please…."
Fuji forced his eyes opened. "Kunimitsu, what's wrong?" he asked when he saw the wetness in his lover's hazel eyes.
"I love you, Syusuke. Remember that, no matter what happens. Please don't throw your life away…"
Fuji laughed shakily. "I am not going to die, Kunimitsu. I am just going to take a nap….Kunimitsu?"
Tezuka wrapped Fuji tightly in his embrace. "Syusuke, don't give in yet. Help is on the way. Soon…"
Tezuka wasn't making any sense. "What are you talking about?" Fuji asked, frowning.
"Syusuke, you tried to end your life by slitting your wrist. Do you remember?" Tezuka asked, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
Something was wrong here, terribly wrong…..
Fuji glanced at his left wrist. The throbbing that he thought was due to sprain…..
Right before his very eyes, a wide gash appeared on his wrist. Fuji watched in horror as his own blood flowed out from the wound, slowly dripping to the floor, staining the carpet, making a puddle that was gradually growing bigger and bigger…..
The pain was more than he could endure. Tears stinging his eyelids, Fuji looked at Tezuka. "But why would I…? How did you…?"
Tezuka held Fuji's hands in his. Blood kept pouring out from the wound like a fountain, staining Tezuka's hands as well, but he didn't seem to notice. "You were distraught over my death, Fuji. You tried to kill yourself."
Suddenly everything came back to him. After his talk with Tezuka's mother, Fuji had wandered back into his room. The pain in his heart over Tezuka's death was eating him alive. Mindlessly he had picked up a pen knife and slashed his own wrist opened to stop the pain.
Tears formed in Fuji's blue eyes. "No, it can't be. It can't be true. You told me you are not dead. You can't be dead…." He shook his head vehemently, feeling as if he was going crazy.
Tezuka held onto Fuji until he stopped struggling. "I'm sorry, Syusuke. I died in the plane crash. But you are not dead yet. We are in the in-between place at the moment. There is still a chance for you to live. I've contacted Yumiko-san through her dream and they are on their way back. You have to hang on until then…."
"No!" Fuji pushed away from Tezuka. He was crying in earnest now, his tears coming in heart-wrecking sobs. "I don't want to live if you are not here with me. I want to be with you!"
Tezuka smiled sadly. "I will always be with you, Syusuke, residing in your memory. And when you dream at night, I will be there waiting. Nothing really dies as long as it's not forgotten. Please don't throw your life away for me. It would make me really sad. My death cannot be changed, but you still got a chance. Live for me, won't you?" Tezuka was crying as well.
Then he seemed to heard something. He turned back to Fuji. "They are here." He gave Fuji a final kiss, blood and tears mingling in it, creating a bitter sweet taste. "I love you, Syusuke, only you. Dream of me every now and then..." Tezuka's voice started to fade and the surroundings gradually took on a blurry edge.
Fuji instinctively reached out a hand. "Kunimitsu, no! Kunimitsu! Don't go!"
"Goodbye, my love. Live long and well…."
Cold, harsh lights stabbed Fuji's face as he slowly surfaced into the world of the living. He heard sobbing in the background, and voices talking quietly together
Slowly, painfully, Fuji cracked his eyes open. He felt drained and weak, although the throbbing in his left wrist had somewhat lessened .
"He's awake! Mom, Dad! Aniki's awake!"
Fuji turned towards the voice and saw his brother, Yuuta, crying and laughing at the same time. Beside him were his parents and sister, Yumiko. All of them were gazing at him with a mixture of relief.
Fuji managed a weak smile at them. "Hi."
"Baka, aniki!" Yuuta shouted once he got over his relief. "Did you know what you put us through?! Attempting suicide like that!" But he looked genuinely happy that his brother had finally wakened up.
"I'm sorry…"Fuji said softly.
"Everything's all right now, Syusuke. You'll be just fine." Yumiko came up and gently stroke his forehead. "Thank God we arrived just in time. You lost so much blood that we weren't sure you would make it."
Fuji nodded. He would have given up too if Tezuka wasn't there for him to urge him to live. "Tezuka…."
Yumiko wiped her own tears away. "Tezuka-kun died in a plane crash. But his spirit came to warn me about what happened to you."
Fuji smiled. His sister had always been somewhat of a psychic. "I know. He wanted me to live. For him. I'm sorry that I put all of you through so much worry. I promise not do such stupid things again…" His eyes slowly closed as exhaustion overtook him.
It was the exactly two years since Tezuka's death. Fuji stood in front of his lover's grave with a bouquet of tulips in his hands.
He placed a silver trophy beside the grave, which bore the inscription "The All England Lawn Tennis Club Single Handed Champion of the World."
"I won the Wimbledon Cup for you, Kunimitsu," he smiled at the solemn picture of Tezuka. "That is your dream, isn't it? I have helped you to fulfill it." Fuji could have sworn Tezuka smiled back at him.
Fuji sat beside the grave, enjoying the breeze gently caressing his hair, knowing that Tezuka was there with him right now.
I love you, Fuji Syusuke, the wind seemed to whisper.
Fuji smiled. "I love you too, Tezuka Kunimitsu," he whispered back. "I will look forward to the day when we will be able to meet again."
THE END
A/N: My first attempt at oneshot. This story just wouldn't leave my head. I was listening to Mika Nakashima's Yuki No Hana while writing this. It was such a sad song...
Yeah, I wanted to make this really angsty. Please tell me what you think, whether it was angsty enough for you...tell me even if you hate it…..Now I can finally get back to my other story in peace...
Thinking of a sequel anyone? XD
