Note:

I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to J. . This was written merely for fun, and because I just love torturing Harry and Draco in silly ways.

This was BETA-ed by the fantastic Aerisvilaga, but please note that neither of us are native English speakers, so I would be surprised, if it turns out grammatically perfect.


The adventures of Harry and Draco Figg

I. Chapter

The headache was unbearable, and Harry couldn't remember death hurting quite like this ever before and… well… we could say, he had some experience. He tried to think of a solution, a good and effective spell, but his brain felt like an exploding volcano, deep down in hell's damned dark pits.

The pain disappeared in a blink, completely unexpected, and the sudden change was so great, Harry thought the whole world faded away with it. Sticky nothingness filled the space for a moment, uncomfortably, like a bad aura. Finally, our hero managed to open his – oh so green - eyes, to realise, his surroundings were still there, if a bit... different than before.

His thoughts started to move in slow, lazy waves, and the earlier events came back to him in a blurred slide- show. Oh yeah, Voldemort was dead, and the wizarding world were saved, but a Death- Eater managed to cast a nasty curse just after its master's downfall. Harry sighed. Why can't people just give up, and surrender quietly? Not every time, but at least on Holidays...

He lay on the ground, completely drained, when realisation hit him like an unchained dragon's tail. This place wasn't the Great Hall or even Hogwarts grounds. Somehow, the curse must have teleported him there, what looked like an old, dirty street. It was dark and gray, and overall unfriendly. Harry's muscles were still rigid, but thanks to the additional adrenalin still lurking in his system from the earlier battle, he managed to stand up, and turn around.

The place was huge and cold, and not a single soul was visible. The buildings looked abandoned, and the nearest brick walls had black burned spots on them. The road stretched far to the east, and was wide enough for several cars to pass at the same time. Harry had the feeling he got dropped in a movie set about a post apocalyptic world, where half giants populated the Earth. He noticed his misinterpretation of the situation just the moment he tried to take a step forward. His legs got tangled in heavy black robe, and he would've headbanged the cobble stones, if not for his quidditch reflexes. What the heck? ... He thought to himself, when he inspected the state of his clothes. They were far too big for his little body, and he immediately remembered his childhood with Dudley's worn out clothes, and how they tried to slide down from his form. Oh, shit. First he thought the street was wide and big, but the horrific realisation slowly crept up on his spine, and whispered the truth in his ears, even if he tried to shut it out. He was the one, who turned small... as small, as a ten year old kid, and when he lifted his hands, his fingers were fragile and child like.

Merlin, just... No.

Surely, the whole fucking universe hated him? He swore, the moment he manages to crawl out of this shithole of misfortune, he's going to take a lifelong holiday with no regrets. He damn sure deserves it.

After checking on his wand, then realising, he still had both the elder wand and Malfoy's in his robe pocket along with his broken one, he shrugged, and shrank his clothes to a more comfortable size with the elder. He's going to repair his own, but later. Now, he needed to find out where he was.

Harry started to walk down on the street, inspecting every blind alley with caution. When he got near to the seventh dead end across the main street, he heard a whimpering noise. He lifted Dumbledore's wand, and stepped forward, searching for the source, and stopping dead, when he finally saw it.

- Malfoy? What the fuck...?

There he was... blonde git extraordinaire, curled up to a pale ball of misery. The slytherin turned his head towards Harry, and his eyes widened comically from disbelief.

- Potter? You're alive...?

- I can see how much of disappointment this to you, but yeah, I'm alive... At least, I think.

- You think? You better be fucking sure, because if you're dead, then so am I, and I do not wish to spend my whole eternal afterlife with you in this haunted place!

- Why do you think I can tell life and death apart with greater certainty than you could?

- You die all the time; one can only presume you learned something useful from it at least. – Retorted the blonde, just before his jaw dropped. As it seems, he noticed Harry's child like state only at that moment.

- What the fuck happened to you? – He asked in a slightly hysteric voice.

Harry sighed, again.

- Well, yeah... I am pretty sure we're both alive, and what happened to me happened to you... actually. – He nodded towards Malfoy, who finally inspected himself. As pure terror realigned his features in an ugly grimace, because naturally, he was too, turned into a little school kid, Harry felt a warm satisfaction setting in his chest. Seeing the blond git screwed up, somehow eased his own insecurities about this abnormal de-growth.

- Here... – He tossed Malfoy's wand back to him after a moment of hesitation. The blonde stared at it for a few sec, and then adjusted his clothes to fit. He seemed to regain his composure for now.

- You practically stole my wand, so I'm not going to say thank you...

- Oh, I wouldn't dream of it... So, can you remember anything what could come in handy? I think one of your Death- Eater pals was the one who somehow managed to send us back here with a curse, but I can't recall any of the details...

Malfoy visibly winced at the mention of Death- Eaters, but said nothing. He seemed to think over the happenings, which lead them to this situation. One time, his whole body froze, and his face turned bright red.

- What...? What is it, do you remember anything useful?

- No... I no... And what are you Potter a fucking interrogator? You're not an auror yet, so leave me the fuck alone!

Harry's face hardened, and his grip on the elder wand tightened, until the wand started to produce little red sparks from its tip. He considered hexing the blonde git, but after admitting they had bigger problems, he turned away, and started to walk back towards the main street.

Like hell he would care if a stray evil giant canary eats Malfoy, or whatever other kind of monsters could be lurking around here. The big road ended in a dirty square, what definitely looked post- apocalyptic.

- Merlin, this place is creepier than a graveyard... – Came the blonde's voice not far from behind. Of course he followed Harry, like the little coward he was; possibly would sell one of his kidneys just so he needn't be alone in this dreadful and gloomy environment.

- Scared Malfoy? – Asked Harry, not looking back.

- No... Not particularly. It's still better than the manor was...

Harry did glance towards him at that. Malfoy looked unperturbed, and the gryffindor couldn't get himself to feel sorry for him anyway.

There was a loud crack, and Harry immediately spun around, wand in hand, ready to cast a defensive spell... until his arm got tugged down by the blond, who just shook his head. He was alarmed too, but his good sense apparently told him to wait and see what happens first. Slytherins were considerate at all times. The crack turned to be the sound of an apparition, and surely, a young wizard was walking towards them in bright red robes, concern clearly drenching his face. Harry wasn't entirely happy, but since they were in an unknown area, and the stranger whoever it was could provide some answers, he let it go, and decided to play along.

- Hey! Are you two alright? You shouldn't be here, this place is dangerous! Where are your parents? – Asked the man, when he got close enough. The boys – their wands already pocketed- tried their best to look innocent, but they said nothing. The man looked uncertain.

- Uhm... Where you there when the Death- Eaters attacked that muggle school?

They shook their heads, and then Malfoy spoke up, on the voice of the lost child, what could break thousand grandma' hearts.

- We can't remember anything... There was a big lightning, and that's it...

Harry was a bit taken aback by the innocent act, but remained silent.

- Okay, and your parents? – Asked the young auror gently, totally wrapped around the boy's finger.

- We don't have parents. – Said Harry after a moment, when Malfoy seemed to be out of ideas. He saw the blonde's form tensing a little. He probably thought- speak for yourself. Well, it was a lie, but it was easier than telling the truth, what would possibly get them in danger.

- Oh... I'm... Alright, I take you to the ministry, and then, we could deal with the rest later... Here, hold my hand, we're going to apparate.

They obeyed, and soon, the familiar but not entirely pleasant sensation indicated the successful magical transport.

They found themselves in the noisy Ministry Atrium. At least two hundred people were huddled together, pushing and talking and complaining loudly to ministry officials.

- Jefferson! – Came a shout from the side, and their guide looked up, to see another young auror fighting his way towards them. The man was lean and tall, and had more freckles than the Weasley children together. Malfoy's mouth twitched, and even if he was scared, he seemingly had a hard time biting back a rude comment.

- Oh, Ayers! What happened... another attack?

- Yeah, like we didn't have enough work to do already... As you can see, the whole ministry is in chaos right now. The Head Auror already called in everyone available...

- Right... I'm going to talk to him, but the wards on King's Street signalled someone, so I went to investigate...

- And got yourself some wandering children? – Asked the man, looking down on them. Malfoy put on his innocent face, and Harry tried to look small and insignificant.

- Yeah... Do you think I should take them to St. Mungo? I don't think there's anything seriously wrong with them, but they did said they can't remember what happened to them, except a big flashing light...

- The Mungo should be overflowing with patients, even muggles... Let the ministry's mediwizard have a look at them. Where are their parents?

- They don't have any...

- Well... that's a problem. Take them to the infirmary, and we'll call some witch from the child care for them later.

Their guide- Jefferson- nodded, and after bidding farewell to his colleague, he led them to the lifts.

- Don't worry! – He smiled at them, trying to be reassuring. – Everything's going to be fine!

They didn't say a word, just crouched in the back of the lift, and looked miserable without even trying. The auror sighed, and turned away his pitying eyes from them. They went to the floor of MLE, but turned right after getting off the lift.

- There's a full time mediwizard here, for the ministry officials. I'm going to have a few words with him before he's inspecting you, so please sit down and wait here! – The man pointed towards two battered chairs next to a potions cupboard and a hideous yellow- green plant. Malfoy quickly sat down on the chair further from the carnivorous looking vegetable. Harry glared at him, but the blonde just lifted one of his eyebrows, assumption clear in his eyes- the big hero is scared from a fucking herb, how gryffindorish... Harry groaned, but sat down stubbornly, careful to don't even look towards the plant. The auror nodded, and walked away, to talk to the healer.

- Potter, please tell me you're not completely useless in occlumency.

The question was unexpected, and Harry turned towards Malfoy, confused.

- What? Why are you asking that?

- Because we said we forgot everything, the healer would definitely inspect our brains. I don't think he would use veritaserum on children, to make sure we're telling the truth, but maybe some mild legilimency is acceptable. The mediwizard is working with aurors, he must be well trained, and I hope you could at least determine the consequences about anyone finding out you have memories about events happening in the future...

- From... the future? What? But we don't know we travelled back in time yet, the de-growth could be anything else, a mere side effect...

- Potter... We just won a war... well... you did. Every Death- Eater who weren't in the battle of Hogwarts should be hiding, not causing a ruckus... and... I also saw a Daily Prophet in a witch's hand back in the atrium, and it had 1971 written over the front page...

It took Harry several seconds to process this information, and even then, he could only gape like a goldfish out of the water. 1971... no, it can't be.

- But it's completely illogical... – He started his argument- We turned back to our ten or maybe eleven year old selves, if we got back in time somehow, we should be in 1991 when we started Hogwarts... but 1971...

- It's the time when our parents attended Hogwarts... yes...

- Our... my... parents? – Harry was lost. This was too much; he can't possibly face with this right now, just after everything.

- Potter... please concentrate... there are still Death- Eaters out there... and You- Know- Who's probably still alive... If anyone finds out who we are...

- How can you be this calm? – Harry asked angrily, and a bit hysterical. Voldemort's being alive pretty much pushed him over the edge...

- Well, I'm a Slytherin, I want to survive... I really don't know how you managed to stay alive during the war with your lack of strategic sense and short temper... Oh wait, I almost forgot... you didn't actually survive the war. Now, it's all clear...

- Malfoy... just shut up, before I hex you as my short temper dictates, and to hell with the consequences...

They glared at each other, until the blonde spoke again, in a relatively normal tone.

- So... Occlumency?

- ...No.

- How bad?

- Dreadful...

- Well... fuck...

Harry felt horrible, and pretty useless. Maybe his only real skills were truly just defensive magic and dying... and perhaps quidditch. None of which could be any help right now. Malfoy looked around, and his eyes stopped on the potions cupboard. He quickly stood up, to examine its contents.

- There! – Cried out Malfoy triumphantly, and took out a little bottle, filled with some misty substance.

- You should drink this. – He handed the potion to Harry, who reluctantly took it, but made no movements towards the cork.

- What is this? – He asked the blond suspiciously.

- It's a calming draught. A strong one... It'll help you relax. In occlumency, you need to clear your mind and focus on your protective walls inside your head. Since you can't do that, this will practically wipe your brain clear...

- So, even if someone does legilimens my mind, they wouldn't see anything except some white blur?

- Basically.

- And how would I know, you're not trying to poison me?

- You don't, but I assure you, I think you're in greater use for me if you're alive... at least for now.

Harry was still dubious, but he couldn't voice his other concerns, because they heard approaching footsteps. It was time to act like a Gryffindor. He quickly opened the bottle, and drowned its contents. The potion didn't taste that bad, it was similar to vapid water, and compared to Skele- gro, it could be an acceptable dessert anytime.

The effect was instantaneous. Harry felt a bit dizzy, but not sleepy, and his current light- headed state reminded him being under the Imperious- course.

- Hello, I hope everything was alright while I was away? – Asked the young auror, named Jefferson, when he reached them. When they nodded, he led them to the healer, and left them in his care. Malfoy was nervous, but any child would be in this situation, and Harry couldn't feel anything specific. It was hard to distinguish his feelings and thoughts at the moment.

- Hello, my name's Hippocrates Plactorelli, and I'm a ministry mediwizard. Auror Jefferson told me, you were in a restricted area, and you couldn't remember how you got there or why. Is that right? – Asked the stern looking man, from behind his rectangular glasses. They both affirmed it.

- Now, I'm going to cast some diagnosis spells on you, to try to specify the possible curses or memory charms which could've caused this. Stand very still.

The boys didn't dare to breathe, while the healer worked on them, fearing, that something would betray their true identities. Finally the man put down his wand, to write some data on a parchment.

- Well... there is some kind of block and overall confusion in your heads, which wouldn't let me reach your memories; however I couldn't define any specific curse. I think your memory loss is from simple shock, and it will normalize in time. So, you don't have any parents?

- No, Sir. – Answered Harry quickly. Talking about the lack of elders was his special area.

- And where you living in an orphanage before?

- Yes... But, I think it got attacked by...

- Death- Eaters? Yes... There were a lot off attacks against muggle and wizarding schools and other institutions recently... – Said the healer, frowning; and took off his glasses to clean them.

- Go back to the waiting room please. Auror Jefferson would call someone for you. – He dismissed them, still not looking up.

The boys politely said their goodbyes, and went back to the lonely chairs with the ugly plant next to them on the corridor.

- That wasn't too hard... – Determined Harry, while he sat down on the chair on the right side, automatically next to the hideous herb. Malfoy was a bit taken aback, but said nothing.

- The ministry is full of idiots...

- Oh really? Say something new, Potter.

Silence stretched between them, as they both tried to figure out what the heck should be their next step. Harry was still dizzy, and while he was sure that no one but him was in command inside his head, the uneasy feeling never left him. What if he's still a horcrux in this world? There wasn't much chance for that, but today seemed to be an extremely bad day to hope for the better. He tried to concentrate, but it was hopeless. He needed to stay calm above anything else.

Harry glanced towards Malfoy, who looked paler than usual. Maybe this whole teleporting back in time and turning into children- thing distressed him more than he let it show earlier.

- Mal...

- Ah, there you are! – Came the voice of the young auror from the side, and they both looked towards him. There was a young woman walking behind him, and she was extremely familiar to Harry, but he couldn't pinpoint where or when they could've met.

- Healer Plactorelli sent me a note, and informed me about your condition. Since we hope your memories will come back, and magical orphanages are currently under consolidation, we're putting you in a care of a volunteered foster parent... temporarily. Uhm... Miss Arabella Figg was the only one currently available, because there were a lot of attacks against orphanages recently, but she's a very nice lady, and I'm sure you'll be great friends...

Arabella Figg... This young woman was Arabella Figg, the past self of the old cat- crazy squib from Little Whinging... Malfoy looked warily at Harry, and the boy could understand why. His features can't really decide yet, which expression would be more appropriate, the relieved or the mortified one.

Oh, Merlin... The universe really hated him.