Satisfaction Not Guaranteed (CCS Version)

Chapter 1: Complaints and Replies

disclaimer: I don't own CCS. Oh well...

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To: R. Shay, Shay International, Chief CEO

From: S. Li, Li Corp., Chief CEO

Sub: Your Sanity

To: R. Shay:

I just bought your SparkleShell communication device for all my employees. To be blunt, I was not pleased. To pay that much for a worthless piece of junk is unacceptable and makes me quite agitated. So, when I wrote your company about this, I happened to receive no response what so ever and I waited for months anticipated it.

The pictures of the SparkleShell you have on the Capture Net are gorgeous, with beautiful colors, and a perfect size. It looked like a bombshell when we opened it. The clamshell design was fat and it was a dirty blackish, brown color. And the features! They were so limited, and barely had any. It was as if all one could do on it was make calls and go through the Capture Net after an eternity of loading. The service was also quite horrible. You see, we did try it for a month or so, and when we called for the worker man to come and activate all our accounts, he didn't finish it and instead ran off with my secretary, whom I fired right away. He never even finished it. And then when I called your company, I was put on the line for hours and then was told that every person was busy. Not to mention the letter with no response.

I would like you to take all of them back and give us a full refund. Actually, I would prefer it if you and your people would go and jump off a helicopter into the ocean and drown, but we can't always have our preferences, can we? How you could invent such an idiotic item and use that false advertising is beyond my knowledge. I have also decided to sue you, mostly because of your lack of decent service. You know I can- I am the most richest and powerful being in Japan. Happy holidays, from Li Corp. by the way.

The person that questions your sanity,

S. Li

Li Corp., Chief CEO

'The future of innovation.'

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To: S. Kinomoto, Rendezvous in Luxury, V.P.

From: S. Li, Li Corp., Chief CEO

Sub: Displeased

To: S. Kinomoto:

I have just finished typing and sending another complaint magik-mail, so I'll make this brief. I just bought a very expensive silk shirt from your clothing manufacturer that had a hole in it. And when I tried to return it, the manager at the time, Richard Shanks, rudely refused to take it back. That does not make me happy and you know my status in society. I can have your job, which I will and give it to someone more worthy. Yes, that's right. I'm suing your company for lack of service after I sue Shay International. And, as I told Shay International, you know I have the complete power to sue you. So, if I were you, I would go start packing and plan your retirement in the swanky parts of New York. After all, isn't that where all the fashion bimbos live?

Have a depressing and injury filled holiday. Cheers!

S. Li

Li Corp., Chief CEO

'The future of innovation.'

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To: S. Li, Vampire Corp., King of Vampires

From: R. Shay, Morning International, Vampire Slayer

Sub: How long it would take to kill you…

Li-

I have spent hours agonizing over your order and everything that had to do with you and your arrogant backside. You have no right at all to sue us, idiot. We keep a watch on all of our 'man workers' with a hidden camera that records the installation process at all times, for business purposes, of course. I have to say, it was quite amusing to see you bossing that brother-sister pair around. They are siblings, Li, and he saw you sexually harassing her, which gives us the right to sue you, instead. Oh, and about the service- all our employees 'know' who you are. We basically told them to be, as you would probably say, rude, idiotic bimbos. And if you do sue us, we have the tapes as evidence of your sexual activities. Need I say more? You are right. Happy holidays!

Shay

P.S. My father is the head judge in the court I'm suing you in. Just something I thought you'd like to know.

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To: No money

From: Without Me

Sub: What do I pay you for?

Hiroganza-

I need a lawyer now! So get off your lazy ass and go find one. All of the ones for us left because they called me difficult. Me! Difficult! So what are you waiting for? What do I pay you for anyway?

Li

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To: S. Li, Li Corp., Chief CEO

From: Service/S-bot

Sub: Fwd: Displeased

Greetings Mr. Li:

Miss. Kinomoto is unable to reply to your m-mail. All complaints are forwarded on to this customer service site. If you would like to do business regarding Miss. Kinomoto, please contact her at We appreciate doing business with you and hope to see around sometime.

Automatically,

Rendezvous in Luxury- Customer Service S-Bot

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R&R!