Memories that Live On

AN: This is not my first story but it is my first story and this account. This is also my first SVU story even though I have been a huge fan of SVU since before I could even understand what the show was about. I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think and if I should continue.

*Please note that the first paragraph is in Olivia's point of view*

Time. They say that time heals all wounds and that if one had patience they would simply vanish, but I've come to find that they don't disappear but rather they simply become easier to handle. Then we become accepting of the past, of the things that we were and are unable to change. We move forward with our lives. I was close to reaching this point until my nightmares and the past I had desperately tried to bury came floating to the surface and hit back with an unprecedented force. This is my story. This is my journey.

Tired. That word simply wasn't even close enough to accurate when it came to describing the exhaustion that Amanda Rollins was feeling as she entered the familiar and somewhat welcoming 16th precinct of the NYPD, otherwise known as Manhattan SVU. The crowned jewel to according to Olivia. They had been hit with case after case the week before. It was nothing short of a miracle that she was able to even stand considering that they hadn't closed their last case until almost 4:00 that morning. Rollins had just enough time to shower and change clothes and take a thirty minute power nap before having to be back at work at 8:00 that same morning. Her only saving grace was the possibility of a slow day and another nap in the barracks.

Just as Rollins began to take her seat the phone began to ring. The shrill ringing of the phone seemed to aggravate the headache that had decided to accompany Rollins where ever she went. She sighed before setting her stuff down and reaching for the phone.

"Manhattan SVU this is Rollins." She said before quickly grabbing a pen and paper prepared to take down the address of whatever hospital or residence that she was about to be dispatched to.

There was a pause on the other end of the line before the caller finally spoke.

"Rollins? Hey it's Erin." The fellow Chicago detective said. Amanda sensed that she was uneasy as she waited for the blond detective to respond.

"Hey Erin. How are you?" Amanda asked as she racked her brain in an attempt to contemplate why Detective Lindsay seemed to be on edge. From the time that they spent on the cases recently Rollins felt a though she knew Erin well enough to tell when something was wrong, and something was definitely wrong.

"I'm good. Listen I know that y'all are probably really busy but I need your input on a case if you don't mind?" There was a pause before the detective continued. "We have a victim here that exhibits similar injuries to a case that y'all…. handled last year." Lindsay once again paused to clear her throat. "Our vic was found bound, beaten, tortured, and raped. She was discovered by her long term boyfriend when he returned to his apartment after a 3 day business trip."

Amanda held her breath and prayed that it was just a coincidence and that there was another explanation for the similarities. She hoped with everything that she had that there was something that would make this crime different than the crime that had crept its way back into her mind. It wasn't possible. "She had been burned repeatedly- keys and hangers, anything he could lay his hands on I guess." She continued.

A feeling of dread and fear overcame Amanda in such a way, She felt like she couldn't breathe and she knew that it would only be worse for Olivia. It was as if Erin was reading the horrendous file on Lewis verbatim, and she physically trembled as the memories of her sergeant and friend bloodied and broken resurfaced in her mind,

This was impossible. He was dead. Lewis was dead. She had seen it herself. She remembered the sight that had welcomed her when she reached the top of the stairs. Olivia handcuffed to the table, and Lewis's body slumped against the table, blood pouring from the bullet wound that had opened his skull and ended his reign of terror and destruction.

"Erin please tell me you're not implying what I think you are implying." Rollins pleaded desperate for the other detective to speak and ease her worries and fears.

The detective seemed to ignore Rollins's plea as she continued to spew the facts that further substantiated the implication. "Ruzek ran a comparison of MO's and a case that Sargent Benson had tagged popped up. He clicked on the file and that's when we discovered that the case was… personal to the NYPD. Look we aren't certain of anything just yet. I just wanted to give you a heads up. I figured that it was better to hear it from one of us rather than waking up one day to find it on the news." There was an awkward silence that took over both speakers as both struggled to comprehend the possible discovery that was made.

Rollins cleared her throat and set up straighter in her chair, "Lewis is dead, Erin. I saw the body myself. It's not possible unless there was a-

"Copycat? Those were my thoughts exactly. Which is why I wanted your input before I jumped to any conclusions." The detective said.

"I'd love to help you but I don't think I'm the most qualified person to provide input. Olivia is the most familiar with Lewis and his patterns. You should really be talking to her."

On the other side of the line Lindsay nodded. But after seeing the limited report on the Sargent's ordeal she wanted to save her as much hurt as possible. She didn't want her assumption to be just that, an assumption and be the person responsible for bringing Olivia back to that time in her life. And she hadn't approached Olivia in fear that if she was wrong she would just be dredging up the past that Olivia had overcome. Or maybe she was more afraid of her hunch being accurate. Either way she knew that she had to contact the Sargent.

Erin took a deep breath. "Could you patch me through to Sargent Benson?" She asked before the line went silent and she found herself waiting for the Sargent to pick up the phone. Hoping and praying that she was wrong.