Title: Educating Gaara

Rated: M for language and an adult theme. You have been warned.

Summary: The sexual education of Sabaku no Gaara- A somewhat comedic event.


If there was one word to describe how Kankuro felt, it would be surreal. There was just no other way to explain the situation he found himself in. Temari was shouting, loudly and angrily and very nakedly at Gaara, whom Kankuro was holding back with every ounce of strength in his (and his puppet's) body, whilst a large framed man (a fellow shinobi if his musculature were any indication) was laying unconscious and bleeding, slumped half on the floor and half on Temari's rumpled bed amongst a vibrator, still turned on and various other toys, several of which made Kankuro's face flush red.

Vaguely he was aware of his own voice attempting to calm his homicidal little brother, "… Gaara, stop! Calm down…" though he could barely hear himself over the shouting of his siblings.

"Release me, Kankuro," Gaara wasn't shouting, but his tone promised bodily harm if he didn't comply, and it was in that sense more effective than Temari's many enraged curses.

"Gods-sake! We were only fucking!" Okay… so maybe Temari's rage was more effective than Gaara's murderous intent. Her words had stunned the puppeteer and the red-head into silence. Kankuro had known of course what was going on in the room… but it was still a shock to hear it said out loud, by his sister, who was naked except for the sheet she'd hauled off of her bed and standing in front of an equally naked and still unconscious man.

Perhaps the only thing that had shocked him more at that moment in time was the way Gaara stilled against him, and cocked his head to the side in a gesture reminiscent of a curious puppy and had said, "What's 'Fucking'?"

It was at this point that time seemed to stop. Kankuro's grip on his little brother loosened and his hands dropped to his sides, but Gaara made no move to get away.

"It is something painful?" the young man questioned.

Temari looked at her little brother oddly. "It's sex Gaara," she explained. "Fucking is sex, only… rougher."

"Sex?" the red-head mused eyes darting between the injured man, and the various items scattered about the bed and floor before returning to meet Temari's gaze. "There was screaming; does sex hurt?"

Temari faltered for an explanation, unsure of how to put in plain words the act of sex to her youngest brother; it was not something she had ever thought she would have to do. She had assumed that someone at some point had explained the concept of intimacy to the young man. But then, Gaara had always been isolated, so his lack of knowledge on the subject was understandable. Still, it was not something she was planning on explaining while in the buff in front of her younger brothers.

"Kankuro, you explain it to him."

The puppeteer looked ready to protest, but Temari leveled him with a glare, that pledged much unpleasantness if he didn't take Gaara and get the hell out of her room that very instant. Kankuro's sense of self preservation kicked in then, as he led his brother out of the room, making sure to close the door behind them, his mind, much like his expression, a blank.


And there we have it...

Hugs and Oreos;

Smurf