Story Vault

AN: Welcome to the Story Vault, a place where plot bunnies and such ilk reside. This first one was created from the thought: What if Naruto used logic? This is my idea about what could happen.

First Item

Logical Naruto Fights Part One

Naruto vs. Neji

Neji is standing in the Chunin Exam Stadium waiting for Naruto to come down so he can crush him. 15 minutes later and he starts to get angry and impatient. He turns to the proctor and says, "The loser was too afraid to show up and face his fate to lose to me. Disqualify Him." The proctor sighs and says," The winner is Neji- "Hold your horses! I'm here." Naruto walks out with his hair and clothes slightly askew. "Where have you been Mr. Uzumaki?" The proctor asks, gritting his teeth. "Making out with Girly boy with a stick up his butt's smoking hot cousin." Hinata appears in the stands next to her team in similar condition to Naruto with a satisfied look on her face.

Neji twitches and grinds out," How dare you make out with my worthless cousin! You should just forfeit because you're fated to lose." "Two things. First, your cousin is not worthless. If you could get over your daddy issues and look at her long enough, you would see that she is being treated worse then you are. Second, you should be the one to surrender. You interrupted my make out session. That puts me in a real bad mood." "I should be the one to surrender. Why?" Naruto bites his thumb makes some seals and slams his hand on the ground and says, "That's why."

From a big cloud of smoke Gamabunta appears. "Brat why have you summoned me?" "I have summoned you to fight this worthless piece of scum." "Why should I fight this weakling?" "Because he beat, belittled, and nearly killed his cousin. Now if there is one thing Gamabunta hates more than perverts, it is people who don't treat their family with respect. "I'll be happy to fight brat." Naruto turns to Neji and says," You have two options: You can fight him-"He gestures to Gamabunta-"or you can surrender. Your choice." Neji twitches, covers the wet spot on the front of his pants, turns to the proctor and squeaks out," I forfeit." "Are you sure?" the proctor asks. "YOU WANT ME TO FIGHT THAT!" Neji screams pointing at Gamabunta. Gamabunta glares and bellows, "It's rude to point at people kid. I hate rude people." Neji's eyes roll into the back of his head as he does what his cousin so often does: He fainted. Gamabunta snorts and says, "Wimp. If that's all I'm gone. Next time you summon me make sure it is against something at least half my size." And with that Gamabunta poofs away. The proctor stares and then finally utters," Winner: Uzumaki Naruto."