I sit in my office, trying to get through all that damned paper work and trying to keep myself from thinking about him every other second. Squall... Just thinking the name hurts worse than any injury I ever got in the army. Does he feel the same way? Or am I just a tottering, lovesick, old man? Maybe I am everything he said I am... reckless, childish... maybe even a hazard. I know the consequences of my actions. I'm not an idiot, like most think I am. I am a man...and I am in love with someone amazing. But he's still young... he still has to learn who he is. Not Commander... Not hero of the world... Not killer... Squall... just Squall. The same Squall that I see in those rare, secret smiles. In the way he looks as he sleeps in my arms after we make love. In the way his eyes glow and spark, and how his skin flushes as we are joined. He is beautiful... and now he's gone. Back to that world that tore him down... And that girl who broke his heart. I sigh softly, tossing my glasses on the desk in front of me as I lean back in the chair and put my feet on the edge of the desk. Tears gather in my eyes again, as I try to fight them off only to find that fighting them makes them come faster. I wince as I my hand brushes over the bruised cheek that he bestowed on me. It's my only souvenir of our very last fight... Well... that and the heartache and guilt... I get up and slowly make my way to the window and sigh, "You got the last hit in, Squall... I hope you can find some comfort in that..."