"Death to America!"

"Dumbass." Ruby muttered as the scantily clad man ran by, the American flag flowing behind him, sputtering yellow and red flames as it waved.

"Ruby, everyone here is a dumbass." Craig said as they traveled through the city of Iquitos, the capital city of the Loreto region. The red head just sighed and nodded slightly before jerking her hand up, hoping to catch the attention of the "cab" driver.

The cab man stopped right beside them, just in time. "Hello. Where would you two youngsters like to go?"

"We'll just get off and pay when we get there." Craig told the cab driver as he helped his little sister, and their bags, into the back of the cab. "Off to the south we go!" Ruby exclaimed, standing up and pointing to the sky. The cab driver just chuckled before riding off south and out of Iquitos.

It had taken them seven hours, ten cab changes and almost three-hundred dollars before they had arrived at their own little hometown, Omaguas.

"And that, my dear brother, is why I hate shopping day!" Ruby growled, barging into their small house, dumping the multiple bags on the counter and table. Craig nodded slightly, pulling his blue hat off before he sat down at the table, rummaging through the bags. "Just be glad we only have to go once a month."

"Well once a month is to fucking much." Ruby muttered, pushing Craig's bangs out of his face. The older quickly undid her work by shaking his head. "You know, if you wanted, you could be dating anyone you wanted."

"Like Bill Gates? No…wait…BILL CLINTON!" Craig shouted, throwing his arms up in exasperation. Ruby grinned and shook her head. "Nooo. I mean someone…nice. Someone who deserves to fuck my brother."

Craig blushed, but not before shoving his hat in his sisters face. "Oh shut up you little fire cracker." Said girl quickly dodged and stuck her tongue out at the older. "Never you fucking panda."

The blackette just stared at her.

"What?" Ruby asked.

"Panda?"

"Oh go to hell!" Ruby yelled, throwing the boy's brand new package of pudding cups at him.

Craig dodged, laughing hysterically before he got hit in the face with a bag of cookies.


"Craig! Ruby! Get your asses down here!" Mr. Tucker shouted from his seat at the table. The oldest walked down the steps slowly, his sister thrown over his back. "Put your sister down." Craig did as his father told him. "Not drop you dumbass." Ruby muttered from her place on the thread bare carpet, rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes. Why the hell did the fat ass have to wake them up at four in the fucking morning?

"You're both going to be exchange students in Colorado for the rest of the school year. Go pack your bags." Mrs. Tucker stated, flipping her blonde hair back. Craig and Ruby just stood there staring at her. "What are you two doing? Start packing!"

Craig drug Ruby up the stairs, the girl just let herself get tugged up the dirty steps. "God dammit Ruby! Get up the stairs yourself. I'm not a god damn football player."

"American wise: Soccer or Football?"

"Football."

"Yeah you're right. You're too skinny, pale, and overall fuckable to be an American football player."

"Ruby!"

"Whaaaaaaat? You know it's true."

"Get off your fucking asses and pack your god damn bags!"

Craig and Ruby quickly walked up the dusty wood steps and ran to their respective rooms to pack their bags.

"Fuckable~" Ruby sang from her room.

"RUBY!" Craig growled loudly enough for her to hear from down and across the hallway.


The two siblings were currently on their however long plane flight to South Park, Colorado. Craig sighed as Ruby, once again, tried to make his hair look more girly. Ruby growled as she, once again, failed at making his hair stay in a pony tail.

"Try pig tails. They're easier." Craig muttered as he searched through one of the lame catalogs. Ruby looked up at him, shocked. "I never thought of that!" She said excitedly, bouncing slightly in her seat before she grabbed more scrunchies from her carry-on bag. The redhead giggled evilly, turning to her brother, holding up some sparkly pink ones.

Craig looked over at her through the corner of his eyes, grunting as she continued giggling. He shrugged, looking back at the catalog. "Just take them out before we get off the plane."

Ruby squealed, causing some passengers to stare at her, before turning to her older brother, starting to work on putting his hair into pig tails.


Stan looked up from his cereal as his mother ran up and down the stairs, back and forth across the living room, and, if it was possible, probably in circles on the ceiling. He turned to look over at his older sister. Shelly just shook her head as their mother ran around the house, mumbling things under her breath while she freaked out about one thing or another.

Their dad walked in, his shirt half tucked into his pants while only one of his shoes was on. "What's wrong Sharon?" He yawned, having just woken up from his nap on the couch.

Sharon halted, staring at her husband in horror. "Randy! You were supposed to pick up the kids!"

Randy jumped slightly, finally remembering, before running up to the room to get dressed properly. A few minutes later, he ran down the stairs, almost tripping on the way down, dressed as good as new. He grabbed the keys before running out to the car.

Stan and Shelly watched amusedly as he turned around halfway down the street before driving past the house in the right direction. "Wait….we don't have school today….and we're right here." Stan mumbled, looking up at his older sister.

She shrugged, grabbing her glass of orange juice, before making her way up the stairs to her room. "Turd."

The younger sighed, turning back to look out the window.


Ruby grunted as Craig finally toppled over, asleep, into her lap. The redhead stared as he sprawled himself out across the few open chairs in the waiting area of gate B16. The so-called "Marshes" that were supposed to pick them up an hour ago….had yet to arrive. She giggled as her older brother grunted in his sleep, mumbling "pudding cups" under his breath. 'Same old Craig.' She thought.

She looked up as a man ran into the gate area, huffing slightly. He made his way up to the desk clerk, talking to the brunette who, for some reason, pointed to Ruby and her brother. The man nodded before walking up to the two.

"Sorry I'm late," He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I'm Randy Marsh. I was supposed to pick you up."

Ruby just nodded, pushing Craig off of her and onto the floor, before picking up her carry-on. She and Mr. Mar- Randy looked down at her older brother, on the ground, still sleeping. "I swear, he'd sleep through bulls stampeding through his room."

Randy just nodded, smiling slightly as he picked up the sleeping boy while Ruby grabbed his carry-on. The two made their way to the baggage claim. After grabbing their bags, Ruby pushed the 'kart' as she and Randy, still carrying her brother, made their way to the car.

After shoving the bags in the trunk and Craig in the back seat, Ruby sat in the front passenger as Randy drove them to their home for the rest of the school year. Boy were they in for a shock.


I've been working on this one chapter on and off for about a month. Maybe two. Don't remember. Hope you enjoy it.