Just a Childhood Hating Parody: Aladdin: The Return of Jafar

At the Just a Childhood Hating Parody studios, a few of the cast members were arguing something with the big boss.

"You're just going to pretend that the original ending to the movie never happened?" Meg Griffin asked.

The big boss smoked his cigar. "The viewers won't notice. Just act like Stan's in the lamp and the genies are on vacation."

Ren looked over his contract. "So we are not going to spoof the T.V. show? I don't want to be stuck here with these morons!"

The big boss put his cigar down. "Like we can afford that. The only future project we have involving the Aladdin cast is the second straight to video movie. You remember, the good one."

They all accept the idea, except one. "So I just sing that song in the beginning off screen and that's it!?" shouted Ask That Guy With The Glasses.

"Afraid so." The Big Boss pressed a button right before ATGWTG pulled out a knife.

"I don't think so! I demand a bigger roll! I shall get fame and-" A tranquilizer dart struck ATGWTG.

Ghirahim whispered into the Big Boss's ear. "You could have just used the track from the first parody of him singing."

"Oh yeah." Realizing that he wasn't necessary, he ordered two guards to take the body away. "Alright then, get to your places. We have a …." The Big Boss looked over and saw Ghirahim still close to his ear. "Please step away before I have you replaced."

Then Shantae came in. "I can fill the role!"

"I was talking to Ghirahim."

"Oh. There goes my chance." Shantae walked away depressed.

"She's fifteen, right?" asked Stan.


In the middle of the night, a herd of Shy Guys were riding clones of Donkey from the movie 'Shrek' as the opening song from the first movie played. "This is the most annoying song in the world! This is the most annoying song in the world!" Unfortunately all the stock audio from the Donkeys' chatter blocked the song out.

The Shy Guy, after passing some Star Wars related things, enter inside a cave where an old temple stood. They gathered around and dropped their recent goods they have stolen.

"Eirh Eirh!" The Shy Guys spoke to one another in their eirhing language, but here's the sup-titles. "(Well this was rewarding.)" "(Yeah, no thanks to our leader.)"

At a corner, the one playing Abis Mal , Eric Cartman, was reading a comic book and drinking Mountain Dew. "Yeah yeah, so what you got?" Cartman ran to the chest and checked the treasure. "Neat-0, a golden X-Box, a golden gun, a golden remote-controlled helicopter, a golden Hitler statue with … hay, who drew the cartoony glasses and mustache on him?!" Eric then noticed a golden knife. "Coooooooool!"

As Eric placed the knife in his clothing, the Shy Guys were getting irritated. "(Why do you get the knife?)"

Eric looked over at them. "Well this is my bonus for being a badass leader."

"(You weren't even with us!)"

Cartman walked toward the Shy Guy speaking. "True, but you are rewarded. You see, you follow my brilliant strategy while you Respect my Athoritah!" Cartman gave them a small amount of gold. "Here you go. Since you're not jewish, you would be generous enough to give it back." Eric took back the small amount and walked though this temple. "Now tomorrow, we will head out to steal from the forty thieves and assassinate their cat leader and .." Cartman then noticed someone unfamiliar. "Hey, who the hell are you guys?"

The two intruders, Ghirahim and King Kong, turned their attention to Eric. "Ah, allow me to introduce myself." Ghirahim licked his lips and stretched his arms. "I am the fabulous Demon Lord Ghirahim!" He raised his arms and gasped in delight.

"O.K. you're a homo and all and I don't judge. Just as long as you're white and not Jewish. ... Are you a hippie!?"

"Oh how cute. He thinks I'm a hippo." Ghirahim then ordered King Kong to pick up the chest. Thus enraging Eric.

"Hey, that's my treasure. Oh, so you are Jewish!"

Ghirahim smirked. "I am not made from juice. But we are here for the treasure." Ghirahim teleported to the other gold and grabbed a handful. "We don't tolerate thievery who takes too much from the wrong people."

"Don't worry, they were Jewish."

"So we will be taking all these with us." Ghirahim drew out his sword. "We were planning on sneaking in and just take it without your knowing, but since I am a Demon lord and he is a giant gorilla, I figured hiding will not be necessary."

Cartman anger builds within him as he watched the two take his stuff. "Yo, Shy Guys! Kick their asses!"

One Shy Guy sweated. "(But he's a demon lord and a giant gorilla. All they have to do is kick us down and walk away!)"

Eric then took out a baseball bat and bashed the head of the Shy Guy. "That's called being a God damn p*ssy! Wait, does that have to be bleeped out? Oh well. Get them you mother**kers!"

As Eric screamed and threw a tantrum, Ghirahim and King Kong gathered enough treasure and set out on Tails who flew them toward Agribah. Yeah, remember the genies increased Tails' strength?

Eric ran out of the temple and noticed his golden knife was gone. "You dirty rotten A**hole! Dog s*it eating, cock sucking, Kamahamaha deusebag … Waaaaaaah! Mommy, that bully took my stuff!"


As the sun rose in the desert, something evil was stirring in the sand. Inside a black desk lamp, the evil Stan Smith and Ren were having a discussion.

"Mr. Ren, can you come to my office?" asked the now all powerful genie, Stan.

"Stan, does 'Tiny little living space' mean anything to you?" said Ren who along with Stan are squished together.

"Oh yeah, so anyway, I was looking through your employee record. I have found that you are overdue for two songs. So for the sake of me, I'll be letting you go."

"What!?" Ren then managed to get himself half out as he pulled himself and the lamp out of the sand. "You're firing me!? What for, I was your best and only minion!" Ren got himself out completely. "Fine, you hate a song! I'll sing!"

The desk jumped up and down. "No, no! Not in hearing range!"

Ren sang his song and dropped his ex-employer inside a random well and flew to ….. walked to Agribah. As he continued to sing and cause multiple earbleed, he finally realized something. "I could have rubbed that lamp and got wishes. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


Back with our heroes, actually they're not our heroes they're Agribah and whatever. Tails flew them over the city and dropped all the treasure they have taken.

"Ooh Ooh Ah. (Shouldn't we have set up an organization where we know exactly who to give the treasure to? Because people over on that street could have it much worse than those guys. I think we're flying over the richest street in the city."

Ghirahim took out the golden knife Eric had. "Here it is. The key to the end of my forced marriage to Meg!" Dark aura surrounded the demon lord. "Once I've sent her where she belongs, I shall be free to invade this world with my demon army and awaken my master!"

Tails flew them to the balcony of the palace and met Meg's pet, the spitting frill dinosaur from Jurassic Park. It roared at the three, ready to spit its acid.

"Don't bother making any threats." warned Ghrahim.

Spiny the dinosaur whimpered and crawled to Meg Griffin. "Ghiry! You're back!" Meg hugged the demon lord, which made him cringed. "Where have you been?"

Ghirahim pulled out the knife. "To give you your reward! Your eternal reward." Ghirahim stabbed Meg in the back. She screamed and fell to the floor. The Demon Lord stepped on Meg and laughed for his victory.

(One hospital trip later)

"Oh Ghiry. You've sensed cancer in that spot and tried to take it out before it spread. Well the doctor completely removed the lump so nothing will come between us!"

Ghirahim growled in anger.

Meg got a closer look at the knife. "Say, were you hunting down thieves again?"

"Yes."

"Oh don't lie to me." Meg twirled her hair.

"No, I'm not lying."

Meg laughed. "Oh you silly. Also, daddy has a big announcement at dinner tonight."

"He's going to speak words instead of sign language?"

Meg laughed again. "He's not pulling a Pink Panther. You're just have to wait for tonight. Don't get too curious."

"I don't care."


Later that day, Ren was lying on a building next to a Pidgey. "No one wants to adopt a chihuahua, they only want large guard dogs." Ren moaned as the sun beats down on him.

"Pidgey (so what you're saying they want a real dog)"

Ren stood up. "I have to get into power. I'm sure a wild dog can become how Stan puts it 'president'. I'll just have to convert to Muslimism, or was it Islam?"

Ren then noticed Ghirahim and King Kong heading out of the palace dressed royally. "Ooh Ohh ah (Don't you think dressing like this will attract the wrong crowd?)"

Ghirahim posed. "Do not worry. We are in fact a Demon Lord and a giant gorilla."

Ren watched as they walked toward the city. "Figured Meg will keep him around. Wait a minute, I got it! I'll just act like a poor fool dying and he'll bring me into the palace!" Ren jumped down and rolled around in dirt. He dragged himself in front of the demon lord. "Help … need help ….. and cheesy tots."

Ghirahim wasn't too happy to see Ren. He grabbed his neck and stared him in the eye. "You …. Ren right? I think the Burger King only mentioned your name once."

Ren broke free from Ghirahim's grasp. "Wait, I'm not a badguy anymore. Disney's starting a series and a celebrity voiced good guy character will bring more money! I was also hypnotized by Stan's gun!"

"Then you're trance would have been broken when I smashed the weapon before Stan even got hold of the lamp."

Stan looked at Ghirahim quietly, and dashed off. Ghirahim gave chase, but they ended up running into Eric Cartman. "Hey, watch where you're going you rich wad!" A Shy Guy then reminded Eric that it's Ghirahim from last night. "Uh, no dumbass. Rich wads don't work. They send other people to do work. Hey, did you hire Ghirahim to take my stuff?"

Ghirahim sighed as he drew his sword. "I think I'll do this world a favor and kill you right here."

The Shy Guys hid behind Cartman in fear. "Hey, go get killed for me!" Cartman pushed them forward and sat down next to an apple stand. "Kick his ass!" he shouted while munching on some apples.

After completely wiping out the Shy Guys, Ren quickly stepped in. "Stand back, I got this ….. 'get out of marriage' card?"

"Out of marriage?" Ghirahim laughed. "You've saved my life!"

Eric noticed that his Shy Guys have been defeated. "Hey, what was that? Did I do something to you? Get up and kill the fag!"

DiC Bowser and an Umpa Lumpa showed up. "Umpa Lumpa, it's that Eric kid."

Eric then threw his Shy Guys at the guards and ran off. "Take them, they're pedos!"

Ghirahim watched the guards chasing Eric away. "So Ren, you have given me my wonderful gates to freedom. But you cannot win me over alone. I'll have a chat with the King about you."

"The King?"


Ren was then threw him in a bird cage. "But I hate him! Where is he hiding the cheesy tots?!"

"Oh calm yourself. I'll just keep you a secret from everyone until I lighten them up. Especially Meg. Heh ha ha!"

"I'm right here." Ghirahim froze from the voice of Meg. He looked around and saw no one. "I'm in here."Ghirahim found Meg in the same cage with Ren. "Daddy said he needed quiet time. But what's with ….. Ren, right?"

Ren shook the cage. "Please not her, anyone but her!"

Ghirahim inspected his nails. "Whatever. I'll be back and …" A sudden earthquake appeared. "What is this?!"

The ground shook violently until … cliffhanger!

End of Chapter


"So we're just keeping it two-thousand words per chapter?" Shantae asked the Big Boss.

"Yeah, besides, they already know what comes next."

"Anything with me involved?" asked Shantae, giving puppy god eyes.

"No, however." The Big Boss had a sinister look. "I do have a certain job for you."

Shantae knew that the Big Boss was not thinking with his head. "For a parody, I would most likely do it for someone young enough like you, but you're supposed to be the author, are you?"

"NO I'M NOT!"