I don't own Metroid or any games in the series.
Prologue: Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
It's Samus again. So the federation came over to my apartment the other day and offered me some money ($55, the cheapskates, would it kill them to pay me a descent salary once in a while?!) to escort some stupid scientists to SR388 (a planet I never wanted to go back to). So we were walking into this cave when some toad or something barked at us. I thought it'd be fun, so I blasted it with a super missile. Unfortunately, it turned into a floating, yellow blob and jumped onto me and soaked into my armor.
I didn't think much of some odd thingy soaking into my suit, so I got in my ship and started going back to B.S.L. alongside the ship with the specimens. I fainted (later they told me it was some stupid parasite called 'X'. I mean, really, what self-respecting thing is called something like 'X'?) because of some stupid infection and my ship was idiotic enough to go into an asteroid field. Thank whatever space-deity-we-have that I had an escape pod that shot me out at the last minute. I ended up getting rescued by the guys that I was supposed to be guarding (it really ticked me off that I didn't get any overtime for it) and they took me to a lab and hacked off pieces of my suit, 'cause it was 'infected' and whatnot. Then somebody came up with some vaccine that killed the 'X' instantly!
Really, reduce me to a goofy-looking yellow person with a red helmet and a gun-arm and then find a friggin' antidote! Does anybody actually care about my rep as a scary person in scary armor anymore?! Well…they do pay me very poorly and…Grr! I'm a yellow and blue freak in a red helmet with a stupid-looking gun-arm now! Part metoid, human, and Chozo. If I ever have any kids, they're gonna be so deformed and screwed up…but, anyway...
The Federation had the nerve to send me to B.S.L. now. Something about an explosion in the Quarantine Bay…The specimens from SR388 and the parts of my suit that they hacked off (Grr!) were there. I have a bad feeling about this mission, even more so, the computerized CO on my new ship is blunt and annoying and condescending. He's in charge on this mission, though, so I guess I'll have to try not to blast my ship to pieces. This is the second time I've had someone telling me how to run the show. I'm an independent woman when I'm working, dang it! This guy reminds me of some other CO that was condescending and annoying, but I'm sure it's a coincidence…
Chapter 1: X…The Worst Letter in the Alphabet
The ship landed in the docking bay, which was as deserted as that concert had been after Samus had had an arm-cannon malfunction and destroyed most of the area. She was still paying off the damages for that on her almost non-existent salary.
"There's been an explosion in the Quarantine Bay," the computer said, bored.
"I already knew that," Samus replied.
"Oh, really?" he sounded mildly surprised. "Good. Go check on it. The capsules with the specimens and your suit parts are there too,"
"I also knew that," Samus muttered, beaming dramatically out of her ship in an attempt to look cool instead of just jumping through the hatch like a sane person. She ran out of the bay and down the deserted halls. "This is kind of creepy…" she finally walked through a room that had a computer.
"Yo, Samus," the CO guy was in the computer.
"Hey, what's up?" she asked unhappily.
"I was just going to warn you to be careful and quiet, despite the fact that you're a veteran at this kind of stuff, and that most of your abilities are gone like in about every mission you've been on," he replied with a yawn. "Oh, and the Quarantine Bay is ahead, in case that wasn't obvious enough," So Samus left the room and went into the Quarantine Bay, finding it easily on the map on her visor. A toad thing was inside. "Oh, a toad!" she blasted it, relishing its dying cry. "Oh, yeah! Samus still kicks butt!" A yellow gob of goo formed from the corpse and came at her. "Oh, crap!" she fell backwards as it jumped on her and soaked in. "Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man!" she went running back to the Navigation Room. "An 'X' soaked into me again! Oh, man! Oh, man!" she kept dancing on the spot in a freaked-out way.
"This is unfortunate news," the computer didn't sound the least bit bothered. "The specimens must have been infected before they were captured…The X can mimic their prey so anything could have hosted it…oh, look, I found a file that some camera got from scanning one," a diagram of a floating blob of yellow goo appeared on the screen.
"Oh, man! Oh, man! I don't wanna die yet! Get a doctor!" Samus was still too busy freaking out to take much of this in.
"The gelatinous 'X' invade and rapidly reproduce, killing the host creature," he continued as Samus only started freaking out more.
"Nooooooo!" she started running up the walls and jumping off of them while hyperventilating.
"They also absorb DNA and use it to mimic the host," the computer could care less and was, maybe, amused. "You were almost killed by an 'X' infection but the Metoid vaccine saved your life," Samus stopped and quickly got embarrassed as she remembered this. "I guess Metroids killed 'X' or ate them or something so the vaccine worked…but you're like part Metoid now so you can eat 'X' by letting them get absorbed. For some odd reason, this will refill your suit's energy and weapons instead of affecting you,"
"Um…that sounds just gross!" Samus objected. "Besides, I don't really like jello and refuse to live off of it for the duration of the mission,"
"Well, you have no rations on the ship because the Federation are jerks and didn't think ahead to pack any, so there," the computer said in a torrent of unpleasant knowledge. Samus cursed quietly. "Anyway, you might get back some of those abilities you always seem to lose so easily and, sometimes, for no apparent or good reason, by absorbing a giant 'X' after a boss fight or something like that…"
"Yay?" Samus wasn't pleased.
"This place has a lot of stuff living on it, and some of the stuff isn't all cuddly like your teddy bear,"
"How do you know about Edward?!" Samus exclaimed.
"I spy on you at night," the computer replied. Samus had to try very hard not to blast the computer into scrap metal. "Anyway, we need to keep them out of the breeding areas…oh, look, here's some now. I'll mark the map for you. By the way, I'm releasing the level 0 hatches and I also must point out that you suck at the moment, being at 10% battle capacity,"
"Well, if some certain stupid doctors had just administered an antidote before they went and hacked off most of my suit, I wouldn't be so sucky at the moment!" she snapped, storming out of the room and taking out her anger on a nearby hand rail. She remained in a bad mood as she walked and jumped into further areas. "How do normal people get around this place?" she grumbled as she tripped and fell on her face yet again from landing badly on a platform. She opened a hatch and walked into…another Navigation Room. She hoped the computer CO would be on a break or something but, of course, that wasn't about to happen in her lifetime.
"Hey, HQ just e-mailed me to tell you that they can send you downloads for your suit," he said, bored. "Is it some sort of computer or something?"
"To a point," Samus replied, putting a hand on her hip. "But they're making it sound like my suit's a computer game or something,"
"Oh, you play that too?" the computer asked.
"Huh?"
"Never mind," he replied. "Anyway, go up to the Data Room on the observation deck and get the data for Missiles. It'll give you a 20% chance of survival, although that's still just 1/5 and I really don't see how that's much…" she was already gone. "Hey, Samus! How can data suddenly make you able to fire missiles, anyway?"
She proceeded into the next room, where she encountered a purple blob in a lab coat.
"Ew!" she shot wildly at it, reducing it to a blob of purple goo, out of which a blob of yellow goo flew and soaked into her. "Ugh…that feels weird and I can taste jello for some reason and feel like I ate some too!" She quickly ascended to the top of the room and went through the hatch to the elevator and boarded. While she was riding the ludicrously slow elevator, she decided to get out her diary and write in it real quick.
Dear Diary,
This stupid elevator is sooo slow! I mean, really, this is the space age and this is a Federation ship. Would it kill them to have better equipment? And what's with that stupid computer? It reminds me of some jerk called Adam Malkovich. He was my CO on some mission that I got underpaid for. He was condescending, annoying, and was always hitting on me and calling me 'Lady'. From anyone else, it would've sounded sarcastic, but, from him, it sounded extra sarcastic with a side of 'I'm a friggin' jerk'. Out of 'respect' (and, by respect, I mean lingering anger) I named the stupid computer after him (although I haven't actually used it to address him yet. I suppose I should but I don't want to talk to him or dignify him with a name, even one of a jerk.).
The really slow elevator finally arrived at the operations deck and Samus put away her diary in wherever the heck she was keeping it out of harms way. Moving on, she jumped up to the upper area and went through the hatch.
"The data room is just ahead, in case you didn't know," came Adam's bored voice as she hurried through the navigation room. She headed in and some thing clamped around her lightly as she stood in front of it. Some weird waves flew around her for a second and she suddenly could shoot missiles when the thing unclamped and turned off.
She went back through the Navigation Room, noticing the lights go out. "Electrical interference has knocked out the elevators on the Main Deck," he informed her as she stopped. "Conveniently, this happens immediately after you get the missiles…odd…This may be related to the 'X'. I'll work on it, as in 'I'll just sit here in the ship'. As for you…try to find another way to the target. It's located here. I'll mark it on the map with a flashing dot that you can't miss," He did so. "By the way, I'm reading huge bio-signs, so there's probably a boss there and you'll probably be getting another ability…" he yawned. "Good luck with that," Samus grumbled and left the room, thinking nasty things about her aptly-named computer CO.
And...uh...if you have the time. Review with some constructive criticism (if any)? You see how Samus is... Just feedback on how much you like the story is fine.
