A Guide to Becoming an Evil Overlord - Introduction
A dark haired boy sat up from a satisfying slumber, confidently looking forward to the rest of his day. As soon as he properly opened his eyes to look around his green surroundings his sight fell upon an object on his bedside table. A black bound book stared back at him, faded silver writing on the front. Instantly his eyes narrowed, an unsuspecting book meant a threat. Immediately his wand was in his hand as he walked around his bed and towards the book. He pointed it accusingly at the book, his eyes almost slits.
"Tom!" Someone groaned irritably, "What in Salazar's name are you doing?"
Tom quickly turned backwards, a curse ready on his lips, only to see Cygnus Malfoy stared back at him.
"Cygnus," Tom sneered, "Please do not interrupt me while I am doing something important."
Cygnus rubbed his eyes warily and then shook his head, "Then pray tell Tom, what are you doing?"
"Silence," Tom hissed as he slunk towards the unsuspecting book.
Cygnus watched with a grim amusement as Tom prodded the book with his wand, his expression so dramatic one would think he was working with a something highly explosive.
Tom peered at the book, using his wand to hastily flip through the pages, hoping to reveal some magical curse. A few long minutes later Tom picked up the book and looked at the front.
A Guide to Becoming an Evil Overlord,Tom frowned slightly at the sight that the word evil had been hurriedly added to the front with ink however this made him very curious so he opened it to the inside cover.
"Use this book to your personal gain." Was scrawled on the inside cover in untidy handwriting.
Tom quickly snapped the book shut and raised his voice slightly, "Cygnus please wake up Anthony and Matthew and bring them to the Common Room." Once ascertaining his orders were enough Tom walked out of his dormitory and into the Common Room.
"As you wish," Cygnus said bitterly, already dreading his task.
As Tom walked down the stairs Cygnus went over to a slumbering figure, disgustedly poking it, "Wake up you trolls, Tom is calling you two down."
Meanwhile Tom had seated himself on a single person green couch near the fireplace. The small fire flickered alive as soon as Tom opened the first page of the book. As Tom skimmed the first few lines he heard a distinct thumping coming from the Boys Dormitories. Then suddenly three figures came lumbering down the stairs.
"What are we doing up so early?" Anthony Mulciber muttered, dragging an arm across his face.
Matthew Crabbe plopped himself on another couch, his face twisted up in a kind of agony, "Now that I'm awake I feel kinda hungry."
Tom sighed deeply, watching as Cygnus sat as far away from them as possible and then turned to face him.
"You are to sit here as I read," He stated firmly, already on the first page of the book.
"I have a Transfiguration essay to do, if I don't finish this one Professor Dumbledore will give me detention and –"
"Please," snapped Tom, "Stop your relentless yammering and sit quietly for a few moments."
Tom then turned his eyes away from the offending imbeciles and finally got to start the book.
Introduction
So, you've decided to become an evil overlord. Be warned that this is no easy undertaking. The road to power is tough and strenuous. It should not be taken up by the faint of heart. Take some time and think over your decision because once you commit to the evil ways you cannot turn back.
Tom pondered silently what the book was telling him. What would being an evil overlord help him achieve? Would it give him riches? He had no use for that. Would it present him with ancient artifacts? That indeed brightened the thought. But would it bring him power?
If you have decided whether you wish to continue the path then you may read onwards.
Tom paused for a moment, heeding the books advice. He had learnt from previous endeavors that when dealing with magical objects one is to be wary of everything. Finally making a decision Tom plowed ahead with the book.
Now that you've decided that becoming an evil overlord is your life's dream understand that you will lose many things on this path. However, being an evil overlord may very well fulfill your inner desires, whether it be power, riches, followers or partners. A word to the wise there –
"This is completely useless!" Tom exclaimed aloud, frightening Anthony who was beginning to doze off atop of Matthew's shoulder.
Tom flipped a few pages until he reached the bolded words, Chapter I.
"Much better," He muttered with a smirk, settling to start reading once more.
Chapter I
Coming Up With a Suitably Evil Name
Your first step to evil glory is your name. Your name must be something that strikes fear into the hearts of the puny mortals you intend to crush. It is known that the evil ones in history have had long names, typically three to four syllables long. You do not want a name that is too short and can be easily pronounced. Your name must be unique enough that people do not know what it is unless you tell it to them. It must also be memorable enough for people never to forget it once they heard it. Forgettable but memorable.
Tom paused for a moment, running through that sentence in his head for a few moments. Eventually he stopped bothering and decided to continue.
It is possible to use your own name to create your new name; think of it as being reborn. You can very well take the letters of your name and switch them around thus creating your new EVIL name. However, if you wish to be creative then by all means use your magical prowess to create a name which burns holes in people's tongues as they utter it.
Tom stopped his reading for the moment and pondered his own name; it was nothing special; as a matter of fact it was the most pathetic, Muggle, name ever. His mother must have been mad to name him that; that too after his dolt of a father. Tom's eyes narrowed, yes he must fashion himself a new name.
"I must find a name," He said aloud, not particularly realizing until he received answers.
Anthony pulled his finger from his ear, "You already have a name boss."
Tom sneered at his lackey's idiocy, "I despise that name, it was the name of my filthy m–"
"Muggle father's name who left you and your mother before you were born," Cygnus repeated monotonously by rote, "We know, you've told us a few times."
Tom looked towards Cygnus and sniffed, "Indeed," his eyes steeled, "Therefore I need a new name."
"You can't just go around changing your name," Said Matthew sagely, "People won't know what to call you."
Tom turned to Matthew, he needed to make it clear to these obsolete fools, "This is a name people will fear."
Cygnus, spread out on the soft Common Room carpet with his Potions essay in front of him looked up at Tom, "So what is this new name?"
Tom looked sharply at Cygnus, his eyes narrowing, "I haven't thought of it yet," he glancing harrowingly at the other boys, "I would have if you three hadn't kept interrupting me."
"I'm sorry but it's just so interesting to get into conversation with you," said Matthew, "You're just so…smart."
Tom glared at Matthew, "You want me to finish your Charms Essay don't you?"
Suddenly Matthew turned pale, "Uh…I… no Tom…I…well maybe…" He continued stammering until Tom held his hand up.
"Be quiet before I have to silence you," he said seriously, "If you want a favour from me in the future do not try to flatter me. I can see through your pathetic attempts."
Matthew nodded but looked at him with hope.
"And no," said Tom, turning back to his book, "I have better things to do than write about how Burning Charms should only be used if camping." Tom's eyes glittered slightly, "And either way, I do not agree with the Essay thesis."
The three quickly fell silent and watched (except for Cygnus) as Tom continued reading.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: Hopefully this is as interesting and funny to someone else out there as it is to me :) And as for Cygnus's name, I know that the current Cygnus we know about was born when Tom was already at Hogwarts. However, since that Cygnus was Cygnus III I believe that there was a II and I...though none of them would have met Tom. So with a little bit of suspended disbelief and maybe some anti-aging potions you see here Cygnus fraternizing with Tom, who, though may not have been the enemy, was smart enough to be a potential enemy.
Enjoy.
